Opening Windows
by SueOrder66
Summary: Following where the movie ends, the Von Trapps escape to Switzerland. Part 3 has finally begun! Please read and review! The reviews make a huge difference!
1. Chapter 1

Opening Windows

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of The Sound of Music, including the characters.

Georg sat on a smooth rock, looking at the mountains that he had loved for so long. 'How could such treachery coexist with such beauty'? It was a question he had asked himself again and again, and he knew he would continue asking it, possibly for the rest of his life. His feet hurt, his knees ached, and most of all his back and shoulders hurt from carrying his youngest daughter, but he barely noticed. Having already fought in the war to end all wars, he was used to ignoring physical pain. He had even learned to recognize pain as his friend. It meant he was still alive.

As he looked at the mountains, the impact of leaving the country he had been born and raised in, that he had fought for and that he had loved for his entire life, hit him as a blow to his heart. He had been ready to die for his country, he had killed for his country, and now he was leaving it. Leaving it in the hands of a mad man. 'There was no other way,' he reminded himself. The country he had loved was gone - at least for now. It was either leave or fight for this mad man, and ultimately have a hand in the further destruction of his beloved country.

Still, he was no stranger to heartache or crisis. He had lost many men under his command. Good men. Enthusiastic, patriotic men. The name and face of each still burned in his memory. And of course he had lost his beloved wife, Agathe. Georg heaved a deep sigh and let his shoulders relax. He had not realized how tense they still were. He would have preferred to still be walking - he wanted to put as much space between his family and the Nazis as possible. But after walking through the night and most of the next day, he knew his children needed some rest if they were going to be able to continue on this long walk. As he looked out at the mountain tops again he silently thanked God that this time he was only losing a country and that he hadn't lost his family. He would not lose his family, he would not lose a single life. And after this walk he would not have to see them suffer this much again. He had never felt so determined about anything in his life before, not even when he was facing an enemy ship.

Georg had not gotten to be a naval hero and decorated sea Captain without learning how to think ahead and strategize. He had learned to hope for the best but plan for the worst. While on his honeymoon in Paris he had wired substantial amounts of money from his bank in Austria to a bank in Paris, all under the guise of having a luxurious honeymoon, complete with extravagant shopping. The honeymoon had certainly been luxurious, as had the shopping, but they didn't need anywhere near that kind of money, which is why he had wired it to several different banks in Switzerland. He had wired an even more considerable amount of money to more Swiss banks the day before, shortly before they left their villa. Now he prayed that the Nazis hadn't intercepted it. Either way, his family would be comfortable in Switzerland. It was just a matter of how comfortable.

Suddenly a heart-rending sob pierced his reverie and he turned around to look at his family where he had thought they were all asleep, curled up in a little valley they had come across. His heart sank as he heard the sob and the following hiccups, but rose again when he saw that Maria was already cradling their weeping youngest daughter. He hoped she wouldn't wake the others, but Maria had obviously already had the same thought and was quickly walking away with Gretl in her arms. Georg could only make out a few words: "doll" and "good-bye". For some reason Maria wasn't trying to cheer her up, there were no raindrops or whiskers. She just kept walking away. She caught his eye and motioned with her head for him to come down and check on and watch over the rest of the children.

Most of them were still asleep, he discovered. He imagined that they were tired enough to sleep through just about anything. But Brigitta and Louisa had woken up, groggily asking what was wrong. "Nothing's wrong," he whispered. "Gretl just had a bad dream. She's fine. Go back to sleep. I'm here. We're all safe." He smoothed back Brigitta's hair, a gesture he would never have done mere months ago, and was gratified to see her eyes close and hear her breathing return to the deep rhythmic breathing of sleep. He looked over at Louisa and was relieved to see that she had fallen back to sleep as well.

As he sat watching his 6 sleeping children, Georg thanked God once again for bring Maria into his life. He tried to imagine Elsa comforting Gretl, or even making this journey with them, and he realized that never would have happened. Without Maria's strength, her love of their children and her support of his ideals, they probably would not have been able to make it out of Austria. Certainly not through the mountains. Maria was born and bred in the mountains and was helping him in ways he could never have imagined. If it weren't for Maria, he might well have been on his way to join the Third Reich, just to save the lives of his children. His heart swelled with love. He hadn't thought it possible, but he loved her more and more by the minute. What was that quote of the Reverend Mother's? Ah, yes. 'When the Lord closes the door, someway he opens a window.' The Lord had closed a big door with the Anschluss - with the loss of Austria to the Nazis. And yet what a window He had opened with Maria. Georg knew his family would be able to survive - away from the Nazis - because God had given them this incredible, strong, spirited, loving, loyal, beautiful wife and mother. 'Come to think of it' he mused, 'the Lord closed a big door when Agathe died as well. And the same window opened as a result of that as well, it just took longer.' Maria, his window when so many doors had closed. Her presence was enough to keep a man believing in God, even in the face of such loss and evil.

Eventually Maria came back into view, this time carrying a sleeping Gretl. Georg got to his feet and hurried over to help her. Gretl was adorable, but a very sturdy 5 year old, and not the easiest child to carry. His sore shoulders and back were evidence of that. He lay their sleeping daughter on the ground with her siblings, stood back up and wrapped his arms around his beautiful wife. She lay a weary head on his shoulder, glad to feel his arms around her, missing the closeness they had been able to share in Paris.

Together they walked several paces away so as not to disturb their sleeping children, and sat down on nearby patch of smooth grass. For a while they just held each other, but finally the Captain simply asked "Gretl?". Maria sighed and smiled ruefully. "She realized she hadn't said good-bye to her favorite doll. But she was really just exhausted and overwhelmed and needed to cry it out. I did tell her, though, that she we would figure out a way to say good-bye to everything we left behind once we are in Switzerland." Maria spoke with a low chuckle. The intense drama of the last few days, the sadness of leaving Austria and the villa, even the pain that she knew her husband was experiencing still could not dampen the deep happiness inside of her. She felt a warmth inside of her heart - almost a bubble of happiness - at the thought of belonging to Georg as his wife, and being mother to the children she had come to love so much.

Still, Maria could feel her husband's sadness, concern and tension and addressed it without being asked. As she leaned her head against his chest, she whispered "We are doing the right thing. The children will be fine ... they will be more than fine. All they have ever wanted is to be close to you. It would have been far worse for them to lose you than to lose their home. And now you are teaching them a lesson that is worth more than any amount of money: you are teaching them to never compromise their principles, and to not support tyranny, whatever the cost. They will be better and stronger for this."

Her words released a weight from Georg that he hadn't realized he'd been carrying and he thanked God once again for having sent them this remarkable wife and mother, both beautiful and wise beyond her years. He gently stroked her short hair back and lifted her face towards his for a kiss.


	2. Parental planning

Author's Note:

Thank you to all who wrote in with the encouragement. It turns out there is more story in me, so I guess this will be on going. I am writing this story strictly as a continuation of the movie, inaccuracies and all. For example, having the family walk into Switzerland was a goof as Salzburg is on the German side of Austria, not the Swiss side, but that's where the movie sent them, so that's where they are going. It was perhaps inaccurate for the Revered Mother to quote from the King James Version of the Bible, but I'm staying true to it because that's what happened in the movie. Also, after the wedding, the movie clearly portrayed Georg as the head of the family and Maria as "belonging" to him, so I am trying to capture that spirit as well. Again, I appreciate the encouragement.

Georg wrapped his right arm around his wife and felt her snuggle and relax into his side. He could feel her fatigue and knew she would need to sleep soon. He had no intention of sleeping until his family was safely ensconced in Switzerland. He needed to make sure that they were safe and he couldn't do that if he was asleep. Having already fought in a war, he had been through worse. Far worse. And yet the stakes had been so high as they were now, protecting his precious family. Come to think of it, he was at war. He was fighting for his life, for the lives of his family, and for the right for all of them to live in freedom.

He laced his fingers through Maria's, again marveling that such a young woman could be such a strong partner in this private war of theirs. "I'm expecting that we will eventually arrive in a small town once we have crossed the border and come down from the mountains. I know there are several, and I'm not sure which we will arrive at, but they are small and I am afraid it may be hard for us to find lodging for nine there," Georg began. "However, I'm hopeful that some gold will be able to turn things in our favor, at least until I am able to get my hands on some Swiss francs." Maria sat up in surprise; she had been oblivious to his financial preparations. "Gold?" she asked in confusion. He began to pull out of his various coat pockets golden spoons, a few gold rings with jewels in them, a golden necklace, and even more elaborate necklace and earrings sets of diamonds, emeralds and rubies. Maria recognized a few of them from the day that Georg had showed her the Trapp family heirlooms. At the time she had been uncomfortable at the thought of such wealth, and at the thought of someday having to wear these jewels at social functions. The title and role of Baroness still did not sit comfortably with her, but she knew it was part of joining this family and had worked hard in Paris to put aside her discomfort and accept the lavish clothes and jewels. She wanted to be an appropriate wife to Georg, despite their social differences. "I wasn't about to potentially leave these in the hands of the Nazis," Georg explained, "and I'm hoping that some of these may turn the tide in our favor once we are in Switzerland." "I'm sorry," he continued, "at the thought of selling any of these off. They rightfully belong to you now. I've been able to give you so little of the life I had wanted to give you so far, and now we may have to sell off some of these jewels. Someday, I will make this up to you and give you as beautiful and comfortable a life as we would have had if the Anschluss had never happened."

Georg felt Maria begin to laugh before he heard it. He hadn't known what to expect, but it wasn't laughter. "Oh, darling," she chuckled "the treasures in my life aren't jewels but you and the children." "I do hope we can save some for the girls some day," she explained more seriously "but for me? Dressed in those jewels I would feel like a … a lark masquerading as a peacock!" Maria relaxed against him again, loving him all the more for his foresight and for the financial relief the sight of those jewels had brought her. She couldn't believe how safe she felt, even in the middle of the mountains, fleeing from people who would tear their lives apart if they could. Her husband's presence, his calmness in the face of such terrifying circumstances, and now his financial foresight brought up that bubble of happiness that she couldn't quench: the happiness of being his wife. "Thank you for bringing them," she added, "I hadn't known how we would manage to find food or lodging. You're certainly right that this will turn things in our favor."

Georg knew that the time had come to tell Maria what he had been doing in Paris, and everything else that was on his mind. He hadn't wanted to mar their honeymoon with talk of the Nazis or the potential need for escape. Then in the hours before they left the villa, she had been so busy preparing the children and he had been so busy wrapping up their affairs that they hadn't had time to really talk about what was happening. He turned to look her in the eyes, regretting letting go of her, and missing the warmth of her body pressed against his, but he wanted to look at her. "Maria, I **am** worried about the children," he began seriously. "I appreciate your reassurance that they will be fine, and on one level on I know you are right. But what they have been through the last few days would be enough to overwhelm anyone. I've seen events like that overwhelm soldiers, let alone children. They've had to hide, make a run for the border, seen a gun held to their father, and left their home – all without knowing whether or not we would make it." "Now they are pushing themselves to their physical limits," he continued "hungry, exhausted, and with an uncertain future." "Oh, and let's not forget the inevitable excitement of singing in front of thousands of people at the festival," Georg added with a roll of his eyes. "During the coming weeks, even the coming months, we need to watch them. Do everything we can to make them feel safe and secure. Help them with whatever fears may still be with them."

Maria's heart melted even more as she looked at her husband. Here was the man who, only a few months ago, had barely known his children. Who had made them march in uniforms, hardly letting them be children and oblivious to the impact he was having on them. And now he was so in tune with them and cared so much. "I know," she agreed in a low voice. "That's why Gretl just needed to cry. They will need certainty and security as soon as we can give it to them." "But Captain," she continued with a smile "you – we – have very strong and resilient children. And ultimately, the will be stronger than ever for this." At that moment there was nothing more to say as they both drew together for a kiss that deepened and grew sweeter as Georg ran his hands through her hair and Maria clasped her hands around his neck. Finally they broke apart and let their foreheads rest against each other's.

Georg finally broke the silence and drew his head back to look at her though this time he left his arm wrapped around her waist. "When we reach a Swiss village, we'll need to find a place to stay as soon as possible, and food to eat. It would be ideal if we could find a place to stay for a couple of days so that the children can recover and also feel a bit of stability. I will need to find a bank as soon as I can." Maria looked at him in surprise, and Georg drew in a deep breath. "While we were in Paris," he continued "I wired some money to several different Swiss banks, all in case we needed to escape." "A future that was looking more and more likely," he added sadly. "I didn't tell you at the time. I didn't want to ruin our beautiful honeymoon with such talk."

Maria felt a huge rush of emotions at that news, so many that for a few moments she didn't know how to feel. She was relieved that they would have money in Switzerland, proud of her husband for taking such good care of his family, surprised that this had all gone on during their honeymoon and she hadn't known, and she felt an inexplicable sadness that seemed as present and pervasive as the happiness inside of her: sadness that the threat to their family had been so present for him, even during their honeymoon, sadness that he had borne it alone. She was still adjusting to being a wife, to belonging to someone. Especially to someone as strong and powerful as Georg. She had never known anyone like him before, and now she was his. She loved him with all her heart and wanted nothing more than to belong to him, but it was an adjustment. She had belonged to the abbey, but that was different. That sense of belonging somehow wasn't as forceful to her. She had wanted to be a good nun, had sincerely tried, and yet somehow kept breaking the rules though she knew them and wanted to follow them. It was almost as though the abbey, and her love for the abbey, weren't strong enough anchors for her. She loved God, she would always love God, but she wasn't just wasn't cut out to be a nun. She was meant to be the wife of this man and mother to his children. The pull of his leadership and her love for him was strong, and it was new. She was a member of a family, he was the head of that family, and she wanted nothing else. He took care of business affairs. Sometimes she knew what they were because he had told her about them or consulted her on them, sometimes she didn't. He said don't sing in public, they didn't sing. He said sing, they sang. He said escape through the mountains, and here they were. She had been disappointed when he said they couldn't sing but she loved him and believed in him – she was his wife. Yet Maria still knew who she was, and if she strongly disagreed with something he did, such as how he had treated the children before she was there, she would fight him. Somehow she knew, though, that he wouldn't do that again, which was one of the many reasons she loved him so much. She also knew that in his own way, he belonged to her as much as she belonged to him, and she would follow him anywhere. The happy bubble was back again. The reached out and touched his face – so strong, so worried, so sad, and yet so determined. "Thank you," she said simply, "and I'm sorry."

In a gesture that was both simple and intimate, Georg took her hand, turned it over, and kissed the inside of her wrist. As ever, he felt fortified by Maria's presence and quiet, steady partnership. The love shining out of her eyes made him feel rejuvenated – like he could handle days of this trip and never need rest. This time he folded her hand over his, kissed her bent fingers, and then held her hand between both of his.

"While you were preparing the children yesterday," he continued "I wired even more money to Swiss banks, directly from Austria. I don't know if Herr Zeller's people would have intercepted it. We can pray that it is all there. But either way, we will have money, I just don't know how much yet."

Though focused on getting the children ready, part of Maria's mind had been with her husband. She hadn't know what he was doing, but was certain he was making preparations for their escape as well. She looked down at her hand, clasped between his. "You are a wonderful husband and father," she said gratefully. "Thank you." Georg wrapped his arm around Maria's shoulders and pulled her back against him. She leaned into him, grateful for his warmth and his strength.

They sat silently for several minutes and then it was Maria who spoke. "What if, once we cross the border, we were to find some Swiss people who live in the mountains on the outskirts of a village?" she asked. "They would could be a day or so closer than a village." Georg thought for a few minutes. "Across the border … I suppose we could trust them. It could be worth a try. But only if you and I both feel like we have no other choice." She nodded against his shoulder. "In my experience, mountain people can be very honest. They lead basic, hardworking lives, often because they love the hills so much." "Of course," she continued with a shudder "they can be nasty and cruel as well." Georg pulled her even closer to his body, knowing that she was talking from personal experience. After a few moments she continued "but political? Rarely. They are often too isolated."

Georg thought it over for a few more minutes and then returned to his earlier conclusion. "Okay," he said "but only if we have no other choice, and you and I both feel that we can trust them. And as long as they have no telephone to alert anyone," he added as an afterthought. "A telephone" Maria said skeptically. "Unlikely. But okay."

"How would we even find such people, isolated as they are in the mountains?" Georg asked after a few minutes. "It's not so difficult," Maria mused "You look for water, you look for where the grass is short from grazing and there will probably be people nearby." Georg thought again of how this journey would have been impossible if he didn't have Maria at his side and thanked God that he had come to his senses in time to marry her, and not Elsa.

"Well, my beautiful and brilliant wife," he finally said "I think it's time for you to join our children and get some sleep." Maria, exhausted, was having trouble staying awake at this point as it was, but she was reluctant to leave Georg alone and awake. "Darling, what about you?" she asked with concern. "When will you sleep?" "When I need to," he replied firmly "and I don't need to now." "I've fought in a war," he continued. "I can make it to Switzerland **and** watch over my family. Now please Maria, go to sleep and don't worry about me."

Maria was getting familiar with that tone of voice from him, and knew that it meant not to argue. She knew he was strong, and was still learning just how strong he really was. She moved herself around until she was sitting in his lap, facing him, and kissed him with all of the love in her heart. It was a kiss that took both of their breath away and made them long for the intimacy they had shared in Paris, but for now that would have to wait. Finally they broke away and she moved away from him, putting her body on the ground, but curling up next to him so that her head was in his lap. She closed her eyes and felt the wave of fatigue that she had been trying to push away. This time it swept over her and she felt the safest she had felt since they had left their villa. They were in the mountains, and this was her territory. She was with her decorated war hero of a husband, and knew that he would continue to take them and get them safely to Switzerland. She thought back to the last words the Revered Mother had said to her, and offered the full Psalm up in prayer, knowing that God was with them as well:

"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is they keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall night smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve they soul. The Lord shall preserve they going out and thy coming in from this time forth and even for evermore."

Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep.

Georg watched her sleeping with love and relief. For the first time in the last few days, he began to feel cautiously safe. Her faith in God had begun to reawaken his own faith as well. He knew that at this point the Nazis would be hard-pressed to find them in the mountains, even if they tried to. For some reason, they hadn't even followed them away from the abbey. At the time he had been more focused on getting away, but as he thought back it struck him that their cars hadn't seemed to be working. 'I wonder how that could be?" he asked himself, but he had no answers. Instead he watched the eight members of his family sleep and decided to let them sleep until morning. He knew he wouldn't take his eyes off them all night.

He could still feel the weight of Rolf's gun tucked into his belt, and that reassured him more than all of the gold that he had also brought.

Psalm 121


	3. The Toll it Takes

**Author's note: A 3 part chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Please R&R.**

The next morning the Von Trapps were walking again, but their pace was considerably slower. There just wasn't enough food for all of them to maintain the steady exercise of considerable walking. Georg noticed that almost all of his children were limping slightly as well and figured that they were either sore, blistered or both. He felt worse than ever for putting them through this but knew that they had no other choice. None of the children were complaining and he did not ask any of them why they were so slowed down. There was nothing any of them could do about any minor injuries right then, and he knew it was best to keep them focused on walking rather than think about how tired, hungry and sore they were. He just slowed down his pace to match theirs, and kept walking.

His heart was filled with pride as he continued leading the long line of his family. They were all being so brave and strong. The older children, specifically Liesl, Friedrich and Louisa had taken on a certain leadership with the others that he had never seen before. He knew that they were all aching, tired and scared, and yet they remained cheerful, encouraging the younger ones, and talking about what fun Switzerland would be. He remembered the admonition he had received from Maria all those months ago and realized again how right she was. Friedrich and Liesl were truly on the brink of adult-hood, and all of them were growing up faster than he had recognized. He wished he had the time and resources to stop, to tell them how proud he was of them, to take care of their aching bodies and aching hearts, but that would have to wait. This time he had Marta on his back. Though she was almost two years older than Gretl she did not weigh much more, and he realized how delicate she was. Not just physically more delicate, but so sweet and feminine even at such a young age. His heart ached all the more at the thought of how he had neglected her – neglected all of them – for so long. "You're with them now," Maria had reassured him many times, "and that's all they've ever wanted." He vowed, once again, that no matter what happened he would never shut them out again.

Gretl walked with Maria in the back of the line, keeping up a fairly steady stream of chatter. As much as he loved her, Georg was glad he didn't have to hear much of it – he was too focused on getting his family to safety and shelter, and kept reviewing different possible scenarios in his head and how he might handle them. What if they did find some people in the mountains? What if they got to a village and couldn't find lodging for all of them? There was so much to think through that he was profoundly grateful that Maria had the patience to listen to Gretl. It also seemed to him as though they had sung every song they knew at least a dozen times, and had made up a new song about walking through the mountains. He couldn't wait to arrive in Switzerland and eventually have a home for his family where he and Maria could have their own room again – separate from the children – but he also knew how much help and support the children would need once they were safe and settled. 'God knows what they're thinking or what they're dealing with,' he thought soberly to himself. His heart felt heavy as he wondered what fears or doubts were now in their hearts, and how long they would be there. At least his pockets were a little lighter. He had given Maria some of the gold and jewelry he had brought. In case something unthinkable happened, he wanted to make sure that she would have at least some financial security.

At the back of the line, Maria was holding Gretl's hand, making sure she wasn't tripping over the uneven ground and rocks. Truth be told, Maria was hardly listening to Gretl, she was just letting her talk as the girl chattered on about what new dolls and dresses she wanted to get in Switzerland. Gretl had even started to make up the friends that she would meet there. She was glad to hear Gretl talking and took that as evidence that letting her cry her heart out last night had been cleansing for her, but Maria was more concerned with keeping her daughter upright and walking than she was about listening to her. Maria was also concerned at how slow their pace had become, but also knew there was nothing more they could do but keep going. She thought about how dramatic and desperate the last few days had been and wished she had the time to love and be with all of her children the way she had with Gretl. For the time being though it was most important that they get physically safe and settled, and then she and Georg could help them through whatever mental or emotional impact this was having on them. She was glad she and Georg had been able to talk the night before. His strength and his love filled her with a sense of security that seemed ridiculous to be feeling out here in the middle of nowhere. Maria felt more anchored to him than ever, and found that she now loved him even more than she already had.

Liesl was walking at the front of the line, right behind her father and Marta. She wished she could walk more quickly, but her legs just wouldn't move as well as they did the day before and her feet hurt with each step. She found she didn't mind the pain as much as she used to. Inside she was feeling alternately numb and heartsick and thoroughly ashamed of herself. No one had mentioned it, which she appreciated, but she knew that her gasp at the abbey had almost cost her family everything. Here she was thinking she was so grown up and then it was she, not one of the younger ones, who accidentally let the Nazis know they were there. And why? Because of a boy. A boy who had already made it clear he didn't love her anymore. Liesl dashed a few tears away from her eyes. Why couldn't she stop crying? He didn't deserve it! He had rejected her and betrayed her family, and here she was, carrying on like her heart was broken. 'My heart is not broken,' she declared firmly to herself. Still, she wondered again how she could have been so naïve. The signs had been all around her: Rolf talking about the Nazis, talking about how her father 'had better know what's good for him,' even the arm band he had started wearing. But she had ignored all of it, thinking that she loved him and that he loved her. She swallowed another sob, not sure if the sob was for this lost love or for how humiliated she felt. She wished she could talk to her new mother. Somehow Maria had always understood and loved her, from the moment she had crawled through her window. She wanted to feel that love and reassurance, and ask her what to do now, now that she was more than just jilted but completely betrayed! Now that she saw how naïve she had been, now that she carried the guilt of having almost ruined her family's escape. 'I'm just going to keep going,' she reminded herself again. 'I'm going to give father and mother all the help they need. I'm not going to cost them anything else.' She had already helped as much as she could – sometimes walking with the younger ones, and always sounding cheerful and encouraged about their future in Switzerland when talking with her siblings. She remembered how just the other day Maria had told her to just wait a few more years for love. Well, that was before she knew just how badly it could hurt to be betrayed. That was before the long and painful days of walking allowed her to reflect on how naïve she had been. 'I'm just never going to fall in love again,' she decided resolutely, and she felt a door close in her heart. The more comfortable numb feeling returned. And she kept walking.

Behind her, Friedrich wasn't thinking at all about Rolf, and hadn't since they had escaped from the abbey. He had thought about the gun held to his father, but not the boy behind it. He had no idea how his sister was feeling and certainly wasn't thinking about how or why she had gasped. Friedrich was thinking about himself, and his father. All his life he had wanted to be like his father. He had wanted to be big, strong and brave. He knew his father was a hero, and he also knew what a strong leader his father was. Friedrich had wanted to be a hero and leader like that for as long as he could remember and had never known how. He had always felt like he was missing out on some secret, some magic formula that would turn him into the hero he wanted to be. Suddenly, he felt like he'd been handed a crash course in it, and it he was excited but terrified. Just watching his father handle this escape through one set back and another was more of a lesson than he had ever had in his life, but for the first time he also felt like a partner to his father. A partner in helping his family escape. He had been so proud when he had helped Max and his father push the car as they were first leaving the villa, and had been proud to tell his father that they could make it through the mountains without help. He was determined to make good on that promise and so he kept walking, helped the younger ones when they needed it, and even made sure that what little food they had went mostly to the younger children who were so tired. But deep inside his heart, Friedrich was terrified. He felt very young and saw what a big gap there was between his father and himself. His father had faced a gun. A **gun**. A loaded gun that had been pointed right at him and at any moment could have taken his life. Yet his father had faced it calmly and put himself between the gun and his family. That was a hero. Friedrich knew he wasn't a hero, and for the first time was wondering if he would ever be one. He was just too scared. When Herr Zeller had stopped them on their way out of the villa, he had been so terrified he could hardly breathe and yet his father had faced Herr Zeller as calmly as if they had been having a cordial meal together. His father had an answer for everything when Friedrich's mind had gone blank. And when Friedrich had seen that gun he'd been more scared than he had ever been in his life, yet again his father had been totally calm. Is that what it meant to be a man like his father? To never be afraid? 'If so,' Friedrich thought to himself 'I'll never be that kind of man.' He felt like he was losing a part of his dream, part of who he had thought he was, or would be. And Friedrich didn't know what was scarier: the thought of the Nazis, the gun, the narrow escape, the seemingly endless walk and their uncertain future … or the fact that he was scared.

Louisa was as tired of singing as she was of walking. She was surrounded by her entire family, but she had never felt so alone in her life. She knew she was expected to be "strong" – whatever that meant. She could feel the pressure from Liesl and Friedrich to be cheerful for the other children, and she could feel the relief from her parents when she acted that way. But it was just an act and she was feeling angrier with every step. How could Liesl and Friedrich be so calm, and even cheerful? They were leaving their home, leaving everything she had ever known or loved, and she hated it. Louisa wasn't used to just feeling sad - when anything upset her she acted on it. If father was away or they had a new governess she didn't just feel badly about it, she collected a jar of spiders or a toad. Or if she was very lucky, a snake. Then she felt better. But Louisa didn't know how to make herself feel better right now. She was leaving her home, there was nothing she could do about it, and to make matters worse she had to act like it was a great adventure. Louisa didn't know how to just feel sad. It might have helped if she did. Or it might have helped if she had known that she was feeling sad, that her heart was breaking, and that it was okay to feel that way. But she didn't know that, and instead she felt angry and alone. She knew that her father joining the Third Reich was a bad thing and she knew that her parents felt they had no other option but to leave. She was so angry at the Nazis for trying to make him join them that she wanted to scream. But she didn't scream because she was supposed to be strong and cheerful. The more she walked the more angry she felt until she was almost as angry at her parents as she was at the Nazis. 'Why couldn't they have figured out something else?' she asked herself. 'Now we're in the middle of the mountains and I'm so cold and hungry and tired. Who knows when we're going to get to Switzerland, or what will happen there. And I don't **want** to live in Switzerland!' Louisa wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly hating herself for being so mad at her parents. She knew they loved her – they loved all of her siblings – and they would never do anything to hurt them if they could possibly avoid it. She drew in a deep breath, shuddering almost like a sob. She was mad at herself, mad at her parents, mad at the Nazis, and come to think of it, mad at God. How could He let something like this happen? How could there be something so bad in the world that they'd have to leave their home to avoid it? Things like this weren't supposed to happen, especially not when they'd finally been happy again. Father stayed home now, she had a new mother she adored, and she was genuinely having fun – not the kind of fun she used to have when she had been upset. That had always left her feeling hollow in the end. Things had finally started going so right but she hadn't even gotten a real chance to enjoy it before things went so wrong. She could hear Gretl chattering away to Maria. She saw how enthusiastic Liesl and Friedrich always seemed, and she wondered why she was the only one who was feeling so upset. And so she kept walking because there was nothing else to do, but she felt angrier, more confused and more alone with every step.

Kurt was hungry. He was so hungry he couldn't remember the last time he was full, and he couldn't remember the last time his stomach wasn't hurting or grumbling. 'How was a person supposed to live without enough food?' he wondered once again. His stomach hurt and he felt like he was getting grumpier with every step. At first he had been too scared to be hungry. There was so much running, and a gun, and he wasn't exactly sure what it meant that the borders were closed, but it sounded bad. It sounded serious. Everything had been so serious. They piled into the car and then their father joined them and took off, driving faster then he ever had before. Then they just left the car and started walking up into the mountains as fast as they could even though it was night. Kurt had been scared, but he was determined to prove how tough he was and so he didn't complain, he walked and walked and did everything he could to let his father know he was okay. That was a long time ago, though. That was before he realized that they would be walking for so long and didn't have a lot of food. That was before the emptiness in his stomach felt like it had expanded to his whole body. He felt like he had been walking for days, he had been hungry for days, and he still didn't know if they were safe. No one told him if they were safe yet, but he hardly cared anymore. All he could think about was what he could be eating if they were comfortably back at home. He didn't know when he'd get a real meal again or stop feeling so hungry and empty. Kurt tried to think about all of the different things he'd eat once they were really safe in Switzerland, but nothing helped. He was still so hungry. Bad things had happened in his life before: his mother had died, his father had ignored him, and he'd been in a lot of trouble off and on in school and with the various governesses. Yet no matter what had happened Kurt had always known that he was physically secure. He would get to eat and sleep and have everything he really needed. For the first time in his life, he was beginning to realize that wasn't necessarily true. Though he wouldn't have known how to explain it even if he had the chance, Kurt was losing a profound sense of security. He kicked a pebble that was in his path and regretted it right away. His feet already hurt enough.

For the first time in her life Brigitta wished that she was younger than she was. She usually wished to be older – she found most people's assumptions about what a 10 year old could do or understand infuriating and somewhat insulting. Now, though, she watched the difference between her older siblings and her younger siblings, and herself in the middle, and she wished she were younger. It wasn't so much that she wanted to be carried. She could handle the walking. But she desperately wanted to be closer to her parents during this walk. She wanted the love and physical contact that Marta and Gretl were getting, but she knew she couldn't ask for it. An independent soul, Brigitta had never asked for love and reassurance in her life, but then she had never felt so lost before. She knew her parents were doing everything they could to help all of them, to get all of them as quickly and safely to Switzerland as possible, and didn't think it would be fair to ask for more. Brigitta, perhaps more than any of the other children, was aware of what was happening in Austria. She understood that Austria was no longer completely under its own government and she knew that was happening in other countries too. She wasn't entirely sure what that meant though, and wished someone would explain it more clearly too her. And tell her that it would all be okay. But they weren't telling her it would all be okay, because as far as she could tell, no one knew if it was going to be okay or not. Brigitta wasn't even sure what "okay" meant anymore. She understood that her father had been told to go fight for the Nazis and that he didn't want to. She didn't blame him. People who would take over a country and government without caring what the people in that country thought or wanted? She wouldn't want to fight for them either – even if she could fight. She definitely didn't want her father going to fight for them. They cared so little about what he thought or wanted - they didn't even care that he had just come back from his honeymoon. How could she be sure that they would even care if he lived or died when he was fighting for them? The world had become a darker place for her in the last few days. She had realized she was living in a world where people's lives or opinions didn't matter as much as she thought they had. It seemed like they didn't matter at all, and as evidence her family was being forced to escape from their home. A shadow swept through her heart and she shivered not so much from the cold but from the evil she could suddenly sense in the world. She wondered if there had always been evil and she hadn't known it, or if it was new. She didn't know which would be worse. Either way, she desperately wanted love and reassurance from her parents. She wanted to hear that this evil wouldn't suck out all of the good that was so new to their lives. As she watched all of her siblings she knew that all of them were going through their own ordeals and she told herself it wouldn't be fair to ask to be hugged and kissed and reassured when all of them needed it. The truth was that Brigitta would not have known how to ask for it even if she had felt like she could. She wouldn't have known how to explain this sense of evil she was suddenly aware of, or know how to say that she needed to feel enough love to would wipe the evil away. So she kept walking and the shadow crept even deeper into her heart.

Marta's arms were tired and aching from holding on to her father. She didn't complain, though. Her legs were even more tired so it was better than walking. She could feel the tears starting to roll down her cheeks again and pressed her face into the top of her father's back. Marta knew that her first mother had died, but she didn't remember her and didn't remember losing her. Her father, strict as he had been, had always been such a strong and forceful presence that it had never occurred to her that anything bad could ever happen to him. Now they were leaving their home, leaving everything she had ever loved, and she wasn't completely sure why but she knew that something bad was going to happen to him if they didn't leave. Then she saw a man pointing a gun right at her father. Her new mother tried to keep her from seeing, but she had seen enough to suddenly realize that her father could die. He might die some day, and the thought was terrifying. What would happen to her if her father wasn't there to take care of her and make sure she had everything he needed? She found herself thinking of her beautiful pink parasol. She hadn't gotten it for her birthday – her father hadn't even been home for her birthday. But she had gotten it a week after he had returned from Vienna. As she had squealed with delight and rushed to hug her father, she also saw Fraulein Maria – mother – beaming in the background. Now she had leave it behind and for all she knew one of the mean men would find it and take it. 'They probably will,' she thought to herself. She could picture one of the mean men taking it and giving it to a mean woman who wouldn't know that it really belonged to Marta Von Trapp. Marta knew they were going to Switzerland, but she didn't even know if they had pink parasols in Switzerland. If they did, would she have to wait until her 8th birthday to get another one? If they didn't she would never have a pink parasol again. Marta realized she didn't know anything about Switzerland. Did they even have ballerinas? Would there be bad men there too who would try to hurt her father? What would happen if they did hurt her father? Marta wrapped her arms more tightly around her father's neck, and let the material of his coat absorb her tears.

There was no fanfare or sign when they finally crossed over into Switzerland. There wasn't even a noticeable change of scenery. Georg wouldn't even have known that they were in Switzerland except for the fact that he had studied several maps before they left and was able to estimate that at the pace they had been walking they were well into the Swiss Alps by now. He was acutely aware of his children's hunger and fatigue and so had been following Maria's suggestion for a little while by making sure their path followed a stream that was winding its way down the mountain. As he and Marta crested a hill he looked down into the valley and could see what looked like the top of a chimney with smoke coming out of it.

"Let's take a rest," he announced to the rest of his family, and was greeted with sighs of relief and disappointment. The relief was easy to understand, the disappointment less so until he heard Kurt mutter "we're never going to get there."

'If it's at all possible,' he declared to himself 'I am going to make sure they can rest and find food here.' Georg lifted Marta off his back and set her on the ground, giving her a hug before he let her go, and the he walked back to Maria. Wrapping one arm around her shoulders he both hugged her and steered her away from the children. They walked a few steps away and looking down into her face Georg realized he couldn't resist kissing her before they spoke. After they broke away from each other, he brought her all the way against his body for a proper hug. "It looks like there may be people in the valley below," he whispered to her. "I want you to wait here with the children and let them rest while I go see if it is safe. If they don't have a telephone and it seems to be safe I will bring all of you down, but I will still want your opinion as well." He turned to face his wife again and smiled, saying "After all, these are your people more than mine."

Georg wondered if he should leave Rolf's gun with Maria but realized with a stab of regret that she wouldn't know how to use it. In untrained hands, it could do more harm than good. He made a mental note to teach her how to use a gun as soon as he could. The couple rejoined their children and Georg explained that he was going to walk ahead a bit while they waited with Maria. Before he left he made sure to hug or caress each of them in some way, and then kissed Maria again. "Be safe," she whispered.


	4. The Healing Begins

Maria sat on the grass with her 7 children. The Alps were as beautiful in Switzerland as they had been in Austria. The familiarity was both comforting and eerie. She thought back to the first time she had taken them on a picnic. It wasn't so long ago, and yet how many things had changed. Most of the children were lying down, some already starting to doze off. She watched Louisa roll on to her side and face away from the rest of them. Maria knew that Louisa was pretending to be asleep, but soon would actually fall asleep. She thought of her spirited 13 year old and imagined how sad and confused she must be feeling and what it must be taking for Louisa to be acting as encouraged as she was. Before Louisa fell asleep, Maria walked over to her and sat beside her. She stroked Louisa's hair back from her face, leaned over and kissed her on the check. While Maria was bent over she laid her head against Louisa's and whispered "This isn't easy for any of us, and I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you. You are being amazing. Somehow, I don't know how, this will all work out."

Those words were balm to Louisa's soul, and she suddenly felt less alone. She rolled over to face Maria and gave her a sad but loving smile. Looking into Louisa's eyes, Maria realized that this smile was the most genuine smile she had seen from her on this entire trip. Maria bent over again to kiss Louisa on the forehead, relieved to see a genuine smile out of her even if it was small, and whispered a simple "I love you, Louisa." She sat next to her for a few more minutes stroking her hair, and then got up to check on the rest of the children.

As Maria sat back down in the middle of the group the children had formed she heard a small voice ask "Where has father gone? Why has he left us here?" Maria looked up and saw that the question had come from Marta. Although Marta would often speak in a soft voice, Maria had never heard her sound quite so small or scared. Maria gestured for Marta to come closer, and when she did so Maria pulled her into her lap so that she could better comfort and hug her small daughter. Maria answered loudly enough so that anyone else who was awake could hear her, but not so loud that she would wake anyone up. "He thinks there might be people living in the valley below, which is very good because it means we aren't far from a proper Swiss village. He's gone to see, though, if we can get any food or a place to sleep from the people in the valley. That way we wouldn't have to wait until we reach the village. But your father would never take you any place that wasn't safe for all of us, so he's gone to see if it is. He will be back soon."

Marta heaved a deep shuddering sigh that sounded half like a sob. "Is father going to be okay?" she asked in the same small voice. "Are the people with the black spider there? Could he get hurt?" Maria hugged Marta tighter and rested her cheek against Marta's head for a moment, and her heart went out to this small, scared girl. Then she turned Marta around in her lap so that she could look Marta in the eyes. She wanted Marta to know that she was serious. "Your father is going to be fine. He is strong, he knows how to take care of himself and he's going to be careful. We are in Switzerland now, which means that the people with the black spider aren't here anymore, and they can't take him. He just loves you so much that he wants to make sure that whoever is living in the valley would take good care of all of us before he takes us down there. He's going to be fine, and he will be back soon. I promise you."

Marta burst into tears and Maria held her close, letting her cry into her shoulder. Maria's maternal heart knew that these were tears of relief and realized how scared Marta must have been for Georg. As she thought more about it, she realized that Georg – though distant at times – had probably been the most forceful and constant presence in Marta's life. Marta must have been too young to remember losing her mother, and the possibility of losing her father over the last few days must have shaken her deeply. She was so glad to have reassured Marta and made a mental note to tell Georg to be very reassuring to Marta as well. Eventually Marta's tears subsided and turned into yawns. Maria kept holding her until she fell asleep and then laid her gently on the ground.

Maria had been in tune with the children since she had first opened her heart to them – and they to her. Yet something about officially joining the family, actually being their mother, had awakened an even deeper instinct in her. She realized that she was starting to experience a maternal instinct for all seven children, and it was powerful. Something told her to go check on Brigitta, and so she moved over to her fifth child, sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her, pulling Brigitta close to her. Brigitta stiffened. All she had wanted was the love and attention of her parents, and here was her mother giving it to her and she didn't know how to respond. Maria didn't let go of her, though, sensing that this was exactly what Brigitta needed. Eventually Brigitta began to relax. Maria, knowing that Brigitta possessed an intelligence, awareness and curiosity that was well beyond her years, finally spoke and asked her "Brigitta, what do you understand about what's happening in Austria and why we had to leave?"

Brigitta ran her fingers through the grass and was quiet for several moments. "Austria isn't its own country anymore? It's a part of Germany now?" she asked quietly. Maria's heart broke once again for this other small girl, only ten years old and living in such a changing world. "That's right," she said. "And father doesn't like it," Brigitta continued. "No," Maria agreed "your father doesn't like it." "What do you think about it?" Maria asked after a few more moments. "I don't understand how Austria can just become part of another country," Brigitta said "there wasn't any fighting or anything." "No there wasn't," Maria agreed again. "The man who is in charge of Germany right now was born in Austria," Maria explained. "Hitler," Brigitta said bitterly. "Yes, Hitler. And he's gotten very powerful and wanted Austria to join Germany so that together they could be a bigger empire. Eventually enough Austrians agreed with him and that's how this happened with no fighting," Maria responded.

The pair sat together looking at the beautiful Swiss countryside, Maria's arm around Brigitta and Brigitta's head on Maria's shoulder. They were quiet for several more minutes. Finally Brigitta spoke again. "I don't like Hitler," she said. "Why not?" Maria asked. "I think he wants to make more countries part of Germany and I don't think that's right," Brigitta responded. "And I think he only likes people who agree with him. He didn't even give father a choice. I think people should be allowed to have opinions without becoming criminals for them, or being forced to leave their homes. I think there's something very wrong with what's happening," she concluded, and began to cry.

"Oh, darling," Maria said as she held her daughter, "When I was younger, not much older than you, we were at war. It felt very wrong too. No one in the world had ever seen a war like that. It felt like the world was ending. But somehow the war ended and the world didn't, and good things still happened." "After all," she added with a smile "I got the chance to meet you, and your brothers and sisters, and got to be your new mother. I could never have imagined anything as wonderful as that. As wonderful as **you**."

Brigitta started to smile through her tears and realized she was hardly crying anymore. She listened as Maria kept talking "I think sometimes very bad things can happen. Bad people can rise to power. But no matter what, there is still good in people and ultimately that will always prevail. It always has before. It's what has us love each other, it's what has us sing, it's even why all of those people sang with us at the festival. And God is stronger than any person on earth. When He closes a door, someway He opens a window. I know that right now it seems as though all the doors are closed, but I think that wonderful windows are going to be opened for us in Switzerland, windows we can't even imagine. Just as I couldn't have imagined anything as wonderful as you and being able to be your mother."

Brigitta's eyes filled with tears again but they weren't tears of sadness and fear. She loved her new mother very much and it meant everything to her to feel so loved in return. Brigitta thought of the way that Maria had changed their entire family – especially father. It was something no one could have predicted, and she was comforted by the thought that good things could be as unpredictable as bad things. She suddenly realized how sleepy she was and let out a huge yawn. "Why don't you get some sleep before your father gets back," Maria suggested. "I'm very tired," Brigitta agreed. Maria kissed her on the forehead before Brigitta curled up on the ground and fell asleep.


	5. The Swiss Stranger

**A/N – I couldn't think of a name for the Swiss man they have encountered, so would appreciate any suggestions. I would also appreciate any reviews. Encouragement goes a long way, and constructive criticism would also be appreciated.**

Down in the valley, Georg approached the house, which he could now see consisted of a house and a barn. It seemed very small and he couldn't imagine that it would be possible for nine people to find a place to sleep there. Still, at least they might be able to get some food. First he walked up to the barn, saw the door was open and cautiously looked inside. It was empty for the moment, but animals obviously lived in it. There was also a top level that looked like it was full of hay.

Georg looked around the property a little more. He didn't see anyone outside, so he went to the house and knocked on the door. After several minutes a man answered the door. Georg estimated that he was around 60 years old, used to hard outdoor work and unused to visitors. The man didn't say anything he just raised his eyebrows which Georg took as an invitation to speak.

"Excuse me for interrupting you," Georg began. "I've been out in the mountains and lost my way a while ago. I was wondering if I could borrow your telephone." "I can pay," he added quickly."

The man looked contemptuously at Georg. Though dressed in warm traveling clothes and clearly exhausted, this was obviously a wealthy man. 'He's probably never worked a hard day in his life,' the Swiss man thought to himself 'and assumes everyone has a telephone.'

"What would I be doing with a telephone?" he responded. "I can't help you." He started to close the door in this wealthy stranger's face when he saw the stranger subtly relax. That aroused his curiosity and so he kept the door open. Maybe there was more to this man than met the eye. By his accent, this stranger was not from around here and could well be Austrian, and he had obviously been reassured to hear that there was no telephone.

In spite of himself, the Swiss man realized that he was a little intrigued by this wealthy man, alone in the mountains, hungry, exhausted and yet wanting to be certain that there was no telephone before any other concerns. "What is it that you really need?" he asked the stranger.

Georg relaxed a little more. This seemed like a decent, hardworking man. Isolated, but not unkind. And probably not political as Maria had said. At least there was no telephone for him to alert anyone even if he were political. "I need food," he said honestly "and a place to rest. I've been walking for … for a long time."

The Swiss man studied this stranger for a long minute. He was not used to taking strangers into his home, but he could see the truth in this man's face - he was exhausted. He still felt strongly that this stranger was a wealthy man, unused to the kind of hard work that consumed his every day. Yet there must have been a reason that this wealthy foreign man had been out in the mountains for so long, without the material comforts he was surely used to, and without knowing anything else, the Swiss man found a small, grudging measure of respect for this wealthy, out of place man.

"I can pay," Georg added. "I don't have Swiss francs but I have gold you can sell. Or, if you'd prefer, I can sell it myself once I am able to get to a bank and come back with the money."

"How much do you need?" the Swiss man asked. "I don't have anything fancy."

Georg looked at the ground for a moment. This was the tricky part. "I have a family," he finally explained. "A large family. They are with me. I need food and a place to rest for my wife and children. Whatever you have – we'll be grateful."

'Children?' the Swiss man thought in surprise 'those children must have been out walking for days.' A mild sense of horror began to creep over him at the thought. He knew children who could spend a day or so out in the mountains with a herd, but they didn't spend the entire time walking. Several children of an obviously wealthy man? Something serious must have happened to send this man to the mountains with his family. He wondered what it was but then realized he didn't care. Whatever it was this man must have felt that he had no other choice, and there were obviously children close by who were hungry and exhausted.

"How many?" he asked. "Seven," the wealthy man replied. "Seven children." The Swiss man winced as he thought of how much food seven children could probably consume. "Go get them," he told the stranger. "You can eat and rest here until they can go on."

Georg felt a huge rush of gratitude. He knew that this man was honest when he said he didn't have much, but the thought that he would be willing to share what he did have touched Georg's heart. All of his training, all of his instincts, told Georg this was a good man and a man that he could trust. "Thank you," he replied. "We'll be back soon."

As Georg walked briskly away and up towards his family his heart felt lighter than it had in days. He realized that it wasn't just the thought that his family would have more food soon that was so reassuring, but the fact that this man was willing to share it with them. The Nazi regime and the Austrian acquiescence to it had made him doubt his faith in humanity. The fact that this simple Swiss mountain man was willing to share what little he had with nine people he didn't even know seemed like proof that there were still good people in the world.

He thought again of the Reverend Mother and her saying. This seemed like one more open window. Maybe the Lord was still with them, and they'd find even more open windows in Switzerland.


	6. Reunited

As his family came into view, Georg saw Maria and Friedrich sitting against a tree, quietly watching six children, all of whom seemed to be asleep on the ground. The sight melted his heart. He had not asked her to stay awake and watch over the children – which is what he would have done – but she truly was their mother. He wondered if the sight of her, no matter what she was doing, would ever stop melting his heart or would ever not make him catch his breath. With a small smile at how far gone he was over his new wife, he realized that she would probably always have this affect on him. And he would have it no other way. She deserved to be adored, and he was profoundly grateful to be the man who would be able to adore her for the rest of their lives.

Georg wondered why Friedrich was sitting up with her and not asleep with the other children, but with a sudden flash of insight realized that in his father's absence, Friedrich was considering himself the man of the family. He thought again of the toll these last few days must have taken on the children and felt even more impatient to get his family physically settled so that he could spend the time with them that he knew they must need.

As he got closer to his wife and son, they both stood up expectantly. Before saying anything, Georg pulled Maria close to him for a hug. He briefly regretted Friedrich's presence. Despite their extreme circumstances and his determination to get his family safe and settled as soon as possible, Georg was still a very newly married man, completely in love with his wife. It was difficult to keep his hands off her, and it was even more difficult to not kiss her as passionately as he wanted to, but he felt restrained by Friedrich's presence. Instead he hugged her and kissed her on the forehead and then turned towards Friedrich.

Georg could see the look of hope in his son's eyes and realized that the hope was as much for his father's approval and recognition of Friedrich's attempt to be the man of the family as it was for his hope that the people in the valley would be able to give them temporary shelter. Still keeping his right arm around Maria, Georg put his left hand on Friedrich's shoulder and nodded at him in a gesture of appreciation and recognition. Friedrich relaxed a little and smiled in response.

"I'm going to talk to Maria for a few minutes," he told Friedrich. "Keep an eye on them, will you?" he added, nodding to the rest of the children.

"Yes, sir. I will" Friedrich responded earnestly. He felt a flush of pride that his father trusted him to watch over the rest of the family, and was determined not to let him down. His feet were exhausted, however, so he sat back down and leaned against the tree while his parents walked out of sight.

As soon as Georg knew that they were safely out of sight he turned so that Maria was solidly in both of his arms and standing directly before him. "Well?" she asked quietly. But before Georg said anything he tilted her face up towards his and kissed her with all the passion that he had restrained just a few minutes earlier.

Although Maria had been certain he would be safe in the valley, she had hated being separated from him for so long and had felt a huge and unexpected rush of relief when she saw him returning. She was glad to have a few moments of intimacy and to feel his closeness now that he was safely back.

Finally the two of them reluctantly broke away though Georg still held her close to him – so close that her head was tucked under his chin. He kept one arm around her and with the other arm reached up to stroke her hair. "I found one man. Older, maybe around 60. He has a small house and a barn, no telephone," he began. "I told him about the children and he said to bring everyone down, that he would give us what he could. I trust him. I believe he is a good man who will do his best to help."

Georg felt Maria sigh in relief against his body. She trusted Georg completely. She had known since before they had even met that he was a decorated war hero, but after seeing how smoothly he navigated their family out of the reach of the Nazis despite how complicated the situation had gotten she trusted his instincts more than ever.

"I think we should wake up the children and take them down there now. The sooner we can get them more food and at least a semblance of being settled, the better. But if you don't trust him, or if you feel uncomfortable for any reason, I want you to let me know right away. We have too much to lose."

"I will," Maria agreed "but I trust you Georg. If you believe him, I am sure he is trustworthy."

It was wonderful to be so trusted, Georg thought to himself. Commanding a ship, his men had trusted him. This was different, though. This was Maria – the woman he loved with all his heart and wanted to protect with all his might. He thought again of Elsa and how they had never really trusted each other. They had tried to make a relationship work when it was obviously forced. As he thought again about their last encounter on the terrace he realized how little they had trusted each other. She hadn't even trusted him to love her, but then to be fair, he hadn't really. Not the way he should have loved the woman he was going to marry. Not the way he loved Maria. He kissed Maria once again, not sort of chaste kiss he would give her in front of other people, but completely and passionately. The kind of kiss that left them both out of breath and regretting that they couldn't give vent to the rest of their passion.

"One of these days," Georg said after the kiss had ended "God willing not too long, we will be settled in some kind of house and have our own room again." "It can't be soon enough," he added, holding her even more tightly against him.

Maria responded by kissing him back just as intensely as he had kissed her. As her shyness and reservations had melted away in Paris, Georg had come to learn her passion extended far beyond music, mountains and their children. The more he knew her, the less he was surprised. It was just one more piece of evidence to him that they were perfectly matched.

Eventually she wrapped her arm around his waist and said "Let's go meet this man, then, and see what he can give us." He laced his fingers through hers and the pair of them went to wake their children up and take them into the valley.


	7. First Impressions

**A/N Thank you to all of the people who have reviewed. The positive reviews make such a difference! I really liked the name Bjorn, but as it turns out this Swiss man is reminding me a little of Heidi's grandfather. Not as old and not as cranky, but similar in situation. I am not making this a Heidi/SOM cross over, but there are similar elements at the moment. That said, I couldn't bring myself to use the name Adolf given the family's recent escape from the Nazis, so I went with his late son's name. **

**This Chapter is from his point of view, but the next will be more Georg and Maria. **

**(PS) I don't own any of the elements in this story that resemble Heidi either, such as Swanli, Baerli or the Grandmother.**

oooooooooooooooooooo

Tobias Kramer was still getting out his supply of bread, cheese and eggs when he started to hear voices outside of his cottage. Knowing how brisk the weather was, especially up high on the mountains, he had built a large fire. He looked around his home again and wondered how 9 people would be able to fit in there. Well, they'd have to crowd.

His food supply was better than he had thought. The goats, Swanli and Bearli, had produced a lot of milk and cheese lately, and he had more eggs than he had expected. Tobias had briefly considered seeing if the Grandmother across the alm had any food he could borrow, but quickly dismissed that idea. He knew that she had less than he did, but that she would be willing to give everything to hungry children.

He looked at the eggs, cheese, sausages, fruit and berries he had and sighed as he realized he'd probably have to cook as well. There was little doubt that this wealthy stranger had cooks all of his life and probably had no idea how to cook an egg. Still, he was not a man to let children go hungry. He didn't doubt that this stranger would eventually pay him, but what good would money do him up in the mountains? He was a subsistence farmer. Money could probably buy extra food, but it wasn't what he would really need.

Finally, Tobias looked out the window and winced. The idea of 9 people was overwhelming enough, seeing them was something else entirely. 'You're a fool, Tobias Kramer' he said to himself. 'How are you going to be able to feed all of these people, or even fit them in this house?' He looked again and all doubts fled his mind. It really was a group of children, and even from this distance he could see how exhausted they were. They must have been walking for a few days, and they needed help.

As he kept looking out the window he realized that there was something odd about this group. The seven children all varied in age, which he had expected. But the woman who must have been their mother was far too young to be mother to some of the older children. He assumed she must be the mother – or at least the wife – but she was much younger than he had expected. There was also something different about her. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but she was different from the rest of this crowd. She obviously loved them dearly. He could see that in the way she was holding the hands of two of the girls, and she exuded a love that could only come from a mother. But there was something different. She was not what he was expecting, and he was intrigued.

Far too soon they were at his door, and he was there to greet them. The father of the family was the first one at his door, with such a look of gratitude in his eyes that any reservations Tobias might have had about taking in such a crowd evaporated instantly.

The father spoke first. "Herr, uh Herr …" "Kramer" Tobias filled in. "Herr Kramer," the wealthy stranger acknowledged. "This is my family. We are grateful for whatever you can share with us."

He had a small brown haired girl asleep in his arms, so Tobias stepped aside and let the stranger enter. He gestured to one of the most comfortable chairs in his home and the wealthy stranger walked over and deposited his daughter into the chair. She curled herself into a ball without waking up. "Thank you," the stranger said again.

The rest of the children tentatively filed into the cottage, looking warily around and doubtless wondering where they could all sit. They were very quiet, and Tobias could tell it wasn't rudeness, but exhaustion, hunger, and probably a certain level of shock. Whatever had happened, this family had been through a great deal.

The wife – the mother – was the last one into the house. She also looked weary but Tobias recognized that she was radiating a level of happiness and love. Happiness and love that even exhaustion and hunger couldn't entirely dampen. "Thank you very much, Herr Kramer" she began "I know we are a large family, and we can squeeze together quite comfortably." Her voice was absolutely beautiful. Even speaking it sounded like bells ringing, and Tobias Kramer knew that he would love listening to this woman speak.

She looked over at her husband and gave him a small smile and nod. Tobias realized that this wealthy stranger had asked for his wife's approval too, and that she had just given it. He wondered again what had happened to this family that would drive them into the mountains, into a new country, and would make them so wary of people. Maybe one day he would know, he thought to himself, but he certainly wasn't going to ask. He decided not to even ask their names unless they offered them.

Tobias watched as this young wife and mother arranged the children into chairs and on the floor, some of the smaller ones in the larger children's laps. The children were all still very quiet, but he didn't mind. He wasn't used to a lot of company, and the chatter of 7 children would probably have set his teeth on edge.

After the children were all settled and the father was watching them, this wife and mother with the beautiful voice turned to Tobias and asked "what can I do to help you?"

Tobias snapped back into gear, remembering how hungry these children must be. "I don't have much" he apologized again. And began taking out the milk, cheese and bread. "The milk and cheese are directly from the goats, they may not be what you are used to" he explained, almost apologetically. The smaller of the two boys piped up "I'll eat anything!" he said. The rest of the children groaned or chuckled. Tobias smiled at him. "Then you're in luck," he replied. He poured the goat's milk into the cups he had and passed them around. There weren't 9 cups, so they would have to share. The children drank hungrily, but he noticed that the father didn't drink much. He was obviously putting his children's well being before his own, and Tobias decided that he respected this man even more. As he went back into the small kitchen to slice the bread and spread the cheese on it, the wife and mother followed him. "Herr Kramer," she began "how can I help?" Then she saw the basket of eggs that he had gathered and walked over to them. "May I cook these?" she asked.

Suddenly Tobias realized the difference between this woman and the rest of her family. She hadn't been born wealthy, she was used to hard work, and she had probably grown up in the mountains as well. He felt an immediate kinship and respect for her. The obvious love and devotion she had for her family shown through, which made her all the more beautiful. He decided that he liked this woman, though he knew nothing about her, and found him respecting this wealthy father even more for having also recognized what a remarkable woman she was and marrying her. Tobias looked at her for a long moment and then nodded and said simply "Yes, thank you, Frau …." "Maria," she responded. "Just Maria."


	8. Love

**A/N: Thanks again, as ever, for the positive reviews. Keep them coming if you can – they inspire me to write more!**

**Hope you like this chapter as well.**

As Georg walked into the barn he heard Maria before he saw her. She was getting the children ready for bed, or at least ready for sleep considering that they had no bed, no pajamas, nothing to clean their teeth. But she was getting them as comfortable in the hay as they could be. There was room for at least a few of them to sleep in the house, but Georg didn't want to split any of them up. As much as he trusted Herr Kramer, he wanted his entire family together, and so they were cuddled together in the hayloft. It was no bed, but it was still much more comfortable than the ground they had been sleeping on for the last few days. It was so much more comfortable that they didn't even seem to mind the more animal smell of the barn and the two goats below.

Maria was singing softly to those children that were still awake. A gentle lullaby. He didn't recognize the song, but he knew that Maria knew many more songs than the rest of them. She had been singing all of her life. Even here, homeless, relying on the kindness of a subsistence farmer, with an uncertain future and a beloved homeland under the control of a foreign party, her voice was so beautiful that he knew everything would be okay with the world … eventually. There was too much beauty for evil to prevail.

He stood there listening to her until she stopped singing and realized that he was standing below. He beckoned to her to join him and she climbed down the ladder to stand in front of him.

"What is it?" she asked. "Please tell me you are going to join us and finally get some sleep."

"Soon," he promised her, "but first I need to talk to you." And he gestured for them to walk outside of the barn.

Whenever Georg told her that he needed to talk to her, there was usually something big coming. She felt a little apprehension wondering what could be next, but then she remembered that this was Georg – her Georg – and so far he had done a masterful job of taking care of them. Her apprehension faded as she was flooded with trust again.

They sat on the ground outside the barn and leaned against the wall for support as Georg once again drew his wife closer to him. He was silent for a moment. He was worried that she wouldn't like what he was going to suggest, but he truly felt it was the best course of action. Well, he reminded himself, she had followed him this far. Once she saw it would be in the best interest of the family, he was sure she'd be supportive.

"I've been talking with Herr Kramer," Georg began. "It doesn't sound like there's a boarding house that will accommodate all of us down in the town below." "Which, by the way, is Dorfli," he added. He kissed Maria's head and looked up at the sky. "I think it would be very hard for everyone to get to Dorfli and have no place to stay. Under no circumstances will I have my family sleeping in the street."

Georg was quiet for a few minutes as he let the possible scenario sink in. "What do you think we should do?" Maria asked quietly.

"We are comfortable here, and Herr Kramer seems to be a good man," Georg continued. "I want you and the children to stay here with him for a few days while I go down to Dorfli. That will give me the chance to find out how much money we still have, get my hands on it, and find a place where we can all stay together. From the sound of it, we'll probably need to buy or rent our own house. But before then I can find lodging for one much more easily than I can for nine."

Maria kept her head on her husband's shoulder but looked away so he wouldn't see her blink back tears. After all they had come through, this is what made her want to cry? His plan made sense, and once again, he was taking the best possible care of her and the children. But since their wedding, they hadn't been separated for more than a few hours at a time. Now he was talking of days. And she had come to rely on his strength more than ever during this frightening journey.

"You're right, of course," she said, "but I don't know what we'll do without you."

"I'll miss you more than I can say," he said in a low voice, "but we'll be that much closer to having something resembling a home again." "There is one more thing," he added, and drew Rolf's gun from out of his coat.

Maria drew in her breath and sat up. "How did you …" she began to ask, but trailed off in surprise. She had seen the gun held to him as they were escaping the abbey, but she had never seen a gun so close before and couldn't help but recoil slightly.

"It was Rolf's" Georg explained. "I got it from him before he blew the whistle." He paused for a moment while they both relived that terrifying experience. "I've been thinking about Friedrich." Georg eventually continued. "He truly is becoming a man. Tomorrow, before I leave for Dorfli, I am going to teach him how to use it. That way you won't be without protection."

The tears that had been threatening finally came and dripped down onto Maria's lap as she thought about the implications of being separated from her husband, the innocence they had all lost in the last few days, and the innocence they would continue to lose during these difficult times. She trusted God, she trusted Georg. She believed with all her heart that they would get through this. But at what cost?

Georg turned her face to his and wiped away her tears until they stopped. Then he just kissed her and held her close, loving the feel of her. He knew she had changed and grown from the outspoken, impetuous young woman who had first come to live with them. She was still that strong, spirited woman he loved, but she had become a wife and a mother. Though she was young, she could no longer be thought of as a "young" woman, but as a woman. He knew her strength had gotten them through the mountains, and he knew her strength would get her through the rest of this ordeal, but he hated what the Nazis were doing to them, to her, to all of them.

For a few moments he was so flooded with hatred towards the Nazis that it was all he could feel. Then he remembered that he loved Maria and his children more than he hated the Nazis. At this time he needed to be driven by love rather than hate, or he might make some big mistakes.

Once before – and for far too long – he had let negative emotions eclipse his love. That had taken a terrible toll on him and his family. Maria had taught him how to love again, and had reawakened the deep love he had for his children. Georg was determined never to let negativity overshadow that love again and realized he needed to say this. "Most of all, Maria, I love you. I love our family. Nothing can change that, nothing can stop that, and nothing can keep us from being together. Not a war, not a mad man, and especially not the mountains. You brought love and music back into our lives, and nothing will ever take that away again. Nothing will ever be stronger than that, either. I love you, and I promise you that is guiding my actions and decisions. With that love, we can't go wrong."

Maria felt her spirits lift again. She remembered her conversation with Brigitta earlier in the day. Or was it yesterday? It was hard to remember. But she remembered telling Brigitta that while hate and evil might seem to be strong right now, goodness and love – and God – were stronger still. She trusted that love more than anything. More than a gun, more than cars, more than the skills her husband had built up through the earlier war.

Georg felt her relax into him and knew that she was going to be okay. Suddenly, he realized how tired he was. "I think I am ready to join our children and go to sleep," he said softly. "You?" "Oh, yes" Maria yawned. "I'm so glad you will finally sleep."

Maria and Georg went back into the barn and climbed up the ladder into the loft. He had originally planned to put one of them at either end of the children, with his body nearest the door. But he found he just couldn't take his hands off his wife. So they lay down next to each other, his body nearest the door and her body curled tightly up next to him. Holding Maria, Georg slept for the first time in days.


	9. Courage

**A/N: I still don't own any of this.**

**Thank you for the lovely reviews. They are so encouraging. I'm sorry to have taken so long between chapters. I temporarily lost my writing mojo, but it is coming back. Here is an extra long chapter with a little of everything to make up for the wait. **

**As always, positive reviews help that mojo keep coming back. Thanks!**

ooooooooooo

The next morning Maria was the first one awake. For several minutes she sat in the hayloft looking at her family. It was a relief to watch them sleep, especially Georg. He had stayed awake for days getting their family to the relative safety of this loft and he was finally able to rest.

It occurred to her that she hadn't watched him sleep since they were in Paris. The world was so different then. Austria was Austria, her home was the villa outside of Salzburg where her seven new children were living safely. She was trying to adjust to being a baroness and to so much wealth as well as to being a wife, but those were positive adjustments. She had thought about the future she knew the German regime would eventually bring – how it would inevitably invade their happy home somehow – she just hadn't thought it would be so quick or dramatic.

The future she had envisioned for her family was gone. She didn't know how much money they would have. She trusted Georg to take care of all of them. He had done a remarkable job so far. But she had never had the chance to live in their home as wife and mother. They hadn't even had one night together before they had had to leave. She felt a pain in her heart at that thought. For a few minutes she sat back against a pile of hay and let the pain of their situation sweep over her. It wasn't a self pitying pain so much as it was pain for her husband and children. Her children were leaving the only home they had ever known, facing an uncertain future, and each terrified and grieving in their own way. Georg had also lost his home, lost a country that he loved so much he had once been willing to fight and die for. And more than that, he also faced an uncertain future for his entire family – the family that he was the head of, the family that he was responsible for. Their future was in his hands and she knew that he was feeling every ounce of that burden.

As for Maria, she loved Austria, she loved the mountains and she hated to leave. But she had already gained so much more than she had ever dreamed possible – so much love and happiness – that it was hard to feel sadness or pain for herself. But the pain for her family was strong enough.

She was still watching Georg sleep. The thought of him leaving today – that hurt as well. But she also knew it was the right thing to do. She wanted to sweep his hair back and kiss him on the forehead. She wanted to snuggle down into his arms, but didn't want to risk waking him. He needed as much sleep as he could get. All of them did. So she refrained from touching him or any of the children.

Maria could smell the smoke coming from Herr Kramer's chimney and knew that he had probably been awake for a while now. She knew that 9 people was quite a burden on this man, and decided to help him prepare for their morning. She knew how to cook quite well – only simple food, but she knew that was all he would have. None of the other Von Trapps knew how to cook at all. They could prepare a picnic – but that was only choosing bread, cheese, fruit, and packing whatever else Cook had given them. Things would be very different in their new life, and she decided that for as long as they would be with Herr Kramer, waiting for Georg, she would teach them how to take care of themselves: how to cook, clean their clothes, and even look after animals.

Maria quietly crept down the ladder to the hayloft and went to help Herr Kramer.

ooooooooooo

Each of the Von Trapps straggled into Herr Kramer's house in various states of dishevelment. Georg was one of the first. He looked immaculate and immediately hugged her for several minutes. They didn't want to let go of each other, knowing they were about to be separated for the first time since their wedding. She rested her head on his shoulder as Herr Kramer busied himself in the kitchen, giving them their privacy. Eventually they let go of each other as the children began to arrive. Only Georg, Liesl, Friedrich and Maria did not look like they had spent the night in a hay loft. Liesl arrived holding Gretl's hand. It looked as though Liesl had tried to get Gretl washed and combed, but the smaller girl was hungry and running low on patience.

As Friedrich entered he looked hopefully and purposefully at his father. He didn't know what his father was going to do next, but he wanted him to know that his father could count on him no matter what. The look was not lost on Georg. Neither was Friedrich's attitude of the previous day when he had considered himself the man of the family during Georg's brief absence. Georg felt the pressure of Ralph's gun in his coat and knew he was doing the right thing. Although Georg knew Maria would be willing to learn to use it and would do anything she could to protect their family, this was a man's job. And in the last few days Friedrich had become a man. Plus, there was still an innocence and a sweetness that he wanted to preserve in his wife. He knew it would become more important than ever in the coming days.

ooooooooooo

After they had eaten Georg caught Maria's eye and gave her a small but unmistakable look that meant the two of them should go outside to speak alone. Before they did so, Maria asked Liesl to help the younger children get more properly groomed, sent Louisa and Brigitta to tidy the kitchen after breakfast, and asked Friedrich and Kurt to help Herr Kramer with whatever his morning chores were. They might as well start learning as soon as possible, and she felt it was very important to do as much as they could to help this man who was doing so much for them.

As soon as Georg and Maria were alone outside – out of earshot from their children – they embraced again like it was their first and last time. Finally Maria spoke, and Georg could hear the tears that were in her voice but weren't in her eyes. "You need to leave soon." It was a statement, not a question. "Yes," he said flatly. His voice did not betray how much he did not want to leave her, but she knew him well enough to understand. "But first, I need to …. talk …. to Friedrich. "The gun," Maria said. "Yes," Georg agreed again, and lifted up his head so that he could put her head under his chin.

"I thought I would bring Brigitta," he continued, surprising her. "Brigitta"? Maria asked in surprise as she pulled back to look at him. They held each other by the arms now – not quite embracing so that they could look at each other, but unwilling to let go of each other. "She's older than her age," Georg explained, "and you're right … she notices everybody and everything" he added with a wry smile. "And despite her remarkable insight," he continued, "I think there will be an added benefit. A man on his own can mean anything, might meet any response. A father with a young daughter is automatically more sympathetic." He paused for a while. "I hate to use her that way, but I think she can help in so many ways, and I'll be able to make sure that nothing happens to her."

Maria's mother's heart broke a little at the thought of being separated from her middle daughter during this difficult time, but once again she knew Georg was right. He thought of everything. Brigitta had an uncanny intelligence and intuition, and people would be more likely to help a man with his young daughter than a man on his own. She drew in a shuddering sigh and nodded. Georg pulled her close again and kissed her. Finally he said "Herr Kramer already knows this. I'm going to get Friedrich. Please gather the rest of the children and explain what is going to happen. Make sure they all know they will be safe and that we'll be taking care of them whether they are here with you or in Dorfli with me."

ooooooooooo

Maria sat outside in a circle with all of her children except Friedrich. The valley where Herr Kramer lived was truly stunning. It reminded her of her first picnic with the children. Both happiness and sadness washed over her at the memory. Happiness that these wonderful children were now **her** children, and sadness at all they had lost since then.

Still craving reassurance, Marta had immediately climbed into Maria's lap, and Maria hugged her tightly as she spoke to them.

She had already spoken with Liesl and Brigitta, each on her own, before meeting with all of them. Liesl because she had wanted her understanding, maturity and support in discussing this with the younger children. And the plans involved Brigitta in a way that was so different from the other children that she had wanted to tell her in private. Liesl was quickly supportive. Understanding why her parents had made this decision and still eager to make amends for betraying her family back in Austria, she had silently vowed to do whatever she could to help her family – from learning to cook to comforting the younger ones to she couldn't even imagine what else. Brigitta had always been a more stoic child - not quite as stoic as Louisa – but she seemed excited at the prospect of going to Dorfli alone with her father to find a place for her family to live. It seemed like a very adult adventure to her - she was indeed older than her years and hated to be underestimated. The rare one on one time with her father was also very exciting.

As she sat with the children with Marta in her lap, Maria looked at Liesl and then at Brigitta. Then she began to speak, explaining that their father was going to leave for a few days and head into the village below to find them a home. Marta promptly burst into tears which made Gretl start crying as well. Liesl hurried over to comfort Gretl. "Is father going to be okay?" Marta sobbed. "Is he going to come back? What if the bad men get him?" Maria stroked Marta's dark hair – now neatly in braids – and vowed to herself that no matter how many times Marta needed to hear this, she would say it. But she looked directly at Brigitta as she spoke. "We are in Switzerland now, darling. The bad men with the black spider aren't here and can't get us or your father. But this is such a lovely place he wants us to stay here and be safe while he looks for a place for all of us to live. He will come back very soon." "Really?" Marta sniffed. "I promise," Maria said firmly. "And Friedrich is not here," she explained, answering the question that no one had voiced, "because your father is making sure he knows how to take very good care of us up here while your father is gone. We will all be very safe."

"Why is Brigitta going and no one else?" Gretl finally asked in a small voice. This was the question that Maria knew would come and had thought a lot about how to answer. "Well, you see, we need Liesl, Friedrich and Louisa here to help Herr Kramer with the chores and to help me keep an eye on you both" she explained and gently tickled Marta until she squealed with laughter. Maria was relieved to see that the tears had stopped. "And he also doesn't want to make you or Marta keep walking because we know how tired you are. He thinks that Brigitta will be able to help him find a good home for us, and she won't be distracted by always being hungry," she added with a pointed look at Kurt. Once again the younger girls burst into giggles, and even the older ones – including Kurt – couldn't help but chuckle. It was so good to see her children laugh that she couldn't help joining them – her heart feeling lighter than it had in days. "Okay, Marta?" she asked when they had stopped laughing. Marta nodded vigorously. Maria looked at Gretl who also nodded. "Well then," Maria said, "how many of you have ever milked a goat?" "No one?" she asked as six blank faces stared back at her. Not that she was surprised. "Then you'll have to learn that as well. Let's go to

the barn."

ooooooooooo

Further away in the valley, Georg had just told his older son that he would be going away for a few days and was asking him to watch over the family in his absence. Friedrich's heart swelled so much he thought it would burst with pride. His father trusted **him**! He was a man, and his father saw that.

Then his father reached into his coat and pulled out something that stunned Friedrich so much he could hardly breathe. It was a gun. A gun so close he could touch it. "How…" he looked up and asked his father, the rest of the question trailing off. "It was that boy's … Ralph's," Georg responded. I managed to take it from him before he blew the whistle. "

Suddenly Friedrich felt like he was going to throw up. He felt the bile rise and forced it back. He couldn't stop staring at the gun. This was the gun that had been pointed at his father – that could have taken his father's life. That could have taken **all** of their lives. This was the gun that had frightened him in a way he had never been frightened before. It was so close to him. He wanted to grab it and throw it as far away from them as possible.

"Friedrich!" Hearing his own name snapped him back to attention. "Sir!" he responded. "I'm going to leave this with you," Georg continued. "It is fully loaded and I only have a short time to teach you how to use it. If any Nazis come here – if we were followed in any way – you must know how to use this. And be able to shoot them."

The bile started to rise again in Friedrich's throat. He remembered how terrified he had been when Ralph had held the gun to his father. That was the moment that he realized he could never be a hero like his father – that he was a coward – and now his father and whole family needed him not to be. He felt trapped.

Georg saw a look in his son's eyes that he had never seen before. Suddenly Friedrich looked like a crazed, cage animal, desperate for a way out. He put his hand on Friedrich's shoulder and forced him to look each other in the eyes. "What is it?," he asked his son as gently as he could. Friedrich just shook his head mutely. "What?" he asked again, this time more gently.

"I can't – I'm not – I don't know if I can do it. I'm not brave like you." Friedrich spoke so softly it was hard to hear him.

"Brave?" Georg asked. "What would make you think that you're not brave?"

"I was scared," Friedrich whispered. He felt smaller than he ever had in his entire life. "When this gun was point right at you, I was so scared. I've never been so scared."

Georg looked at his son, this boy becoming a man, and understood. His son did not realize the difference between courage and fear. He thought they were opposites. His heart broke a little when he thought of how Friedrich must have carried this extra burden of thinking he was a coward through the mountains the last few days.

"I was scared too," Georg responded. "I've never been more scared in my life."

"You, sir?" Friedrich was stunned. "You were scared?" It had never occurred to him that his father could feel fear.

"Of course I was scared," Georg continued. "We were surrounded by the very enemy that we were trying to escape. I had my entire family with me – the people that I love more than anything, more than my own life! That gun could have taken my life, but it could just as easily taken any of yours. And if I had been killed, all of you would have seen it. And you would have been in the hands of the Nazis. A fate I fear could have equaled, or been worse than, death. I've fought in the war to end all wars, but I have never been more scared than I was in that abbey." He let Friedrich process this before continuing.

"Lack of fear does not make you brave," Georg explained. "Only fools or idiots never feel fear. Courage – true courage – is feeling fear and not letting it stop you from doing what is right - what you know must be done."

Friedrich felt as though the world had been lifted from his shoulders. He wasn't a coward for being afraid! His father, a war hero, had been afraid as well! He wasn't a coward! But then he thought of what his father had done in the abbey, walking straight towards the gun. Talking to Ralph in that calm voice, distracting him so that they could all hurry down the stairs. Friedrich's heart sank again a little when he thought of that.

"But what you did! The way you walked right towards him – you were so calm – I could never have done that." His shoulders slumped under the memory of that trauma, and under the knowledge that he could never truly be a hero like his father.

"Neither could I," Georg told him "when I was fourteen." "Friedrich," he continued, "I've had years of combat training. That wasn't the first gun I have faced. That wasn't the first time I have looked death or the enemy right in the eyes. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't known **what** to do. Battle instincts took over. If I hadn't been trained and trained, and then had real life war experience to back it up, I would never have been able to do that either. You're fourteen, you cannot compare yourself to me. Not yet anyway. But you will learn. I pray that you will never have to learn the way I did – that you will never have to fight in a war. But I intend to teach you how to protect our family. How to use this gun. How to act. And eventually, you will have instincts and knowledge as well. But just being young, inexperienced and afraid does not make you a coward. Look at the way you have helped us get through these days, the way you have stood by Maria – I mean, your mother – you have carried so much of the burden, we could not have done this without you. In these last few days I've seen you grow from a boy into a man, and I've never been more proud of you."

Friedrich was speechless. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes and fought them back. After this incredible affirmation from his father the last thing he wanted to do was embarrass himself by crying. He had gone from ashamed to elated in a matter of minutes. He wasn't a coward! His own father thought he was becoming a man. He swallowed back those embarrassing tears, drew his shoulders back and looked his father in the eyes. "Thank you, sir." Those three words said everything he wanted to convey – there was nothing more to say.

Georg looked at his son and could see the pride and relief written all over him. He was glad he had had the opportunity to clear up this misconception that feeling fear meant that you were a coward. He felt a certain pride that was new to him as he realized he was talking to his son, man to man.

"Now, let's teach you how to use this gun so that you'll know what to do if any of the Nazis should happen to find you while I am gone. I expect that they are far behind us now, but I'd feel better knowing you had this. Besides," he paused thoughtfully, "it's about time for you to learn to use a gun anyway." "And remember," he added, "feeling fear does not make you a coward. It makes you smart. Letting fear immobilize you – that makes you a coward."

"This gun should only be used as a last resort," he explained. "It's our biggest advantage so you don't want to reveal it too soon. And although it's fully loaded you don't have unlimited ammunition."

And with that, the father began to teach his son to fire a gun in order to defend himself and his family.

ooooooooooo

A short while later, amidst kisses, words of love, and unshed tears, Georg and Brigitta started down the mountain towards Dorfli, leaving Maria and the six remaining children in the alm.


	10. Jam and Bread

In the past day, Herr Kramer had learned several things. He had learned that so far living with people wasn't quite as trying as he used to think it would be. He learned that 5 year olds could be adorable and yet when tired or hungry could make the most unpleasant scenes. He learned that six pairs of unskilled hands – and one pair of skilled hands – made a bigger difference for his daily burdens than he had dreamed possible. And he had also learned that six hungry children could eat almost more food in a day than he normally kept stored.

It was the morning of their second full day there and Tobias Kramer figured they'd have enough food to get them through that day, possibly another, but worried about what they would do if this family stayed here longer than that.

He had also learned other things. He had learned that Maria – he had learned only their first names – sang more beautifully than he could imagine the angels singing. He had learned through observation that the family had been through an ordeal, and he suspected that was why he only knew first names. He had also learned through observation that his initial assessments had been correct: the family was wealthy, but Maria was from a background similar to his own. He had learned that she was only newly married to the father of these children, yet every single child adored her. They had obviously married with the full enthusiasm of the children.

He had learned that while Maria's voice was clear as a bell and soared so high that it seemed to fill the mountains, all of the children could sing beautifully, and in fact they sang together remarkably well. It seemed to be their favorite hobby. He had learned that though they were inexperienced, the children were all willing to work hard, which impressed him. He suspected that was inspired by Maria's own work ethic. He also suspected that he could grow to love this beautiful and unique woman as though she were the daughter and child he had never had.

Herr Kramer was impressed at how Maria made sure the children did work around the farm, but also kept them playing. It would be easy for children who had just walked through the mountains all the way from Switzerland to lose even the last glow of youth, but somehow he kept hearing peels of laughter. They all loved the animals, although the older blonde girl, Louisa, had taken a particular interest in the goats, Swanli and Baerli. The oldest girl, Leisl, preferred to help in the house. And the boy who felt more like a man, Friedrich, seemed to have assumed his father's responsibility for ensuring the safety of the family. He was alert, rarely let himself be distracted by the games or chores, and frequently walked the perimeter of the farm – never letting himself be too far away from the family, but also looking out into the mountains. Herr Kramer wasn't worried. No one had ever approached him from that side of the mountains before – let alone someone from Switzerland. Although he knew this family had to have been desperate to do what they had done, he didn't think it was possible that they could have been directly followed.

Herr Kramer also wondered about the father and daughter who had gone into Dorfli. He was sure that they had found a place to sleep last night; he had given them good directions on how to find a boarding house. As for the rest … he couldn't help but wonder. He didn't know how much money this man still had. How was he going to be able to afford a place for all nine of them to live? He hoped it would be soon. Though he was enjoying their company – for now – he also didn't know how long he would be able to keep feeding them.

ooooooooo

Maria joined him in the kitchen, greeted him, and then set to work making a loaf of bread. She was an early riser, and knew to be quiet in the morning and just enjoy the beautiful day. He appreciated her all the more for it, and as she set the dough to rise, he realized that her bread dough already smelled better than his ever had.

There was a sadness around her eyes though. He suspected it had to do with her husband's absence. He could easily tell that as much as the children adored her, her husband adored her even more and it was reciprocated in full. This was a true love match, and it couldn't be easy for a newly married couple, so obviously in love, to be parted for an undetermined length of time. Still, he was impressed at how she kept her spirits up, and pretty soon she was humming. Tobias loved listening to her.

Soon there was nothing left to do but wait for the children to wake up and wait for the bread dough to finish rising, so Maria left the cottage to sit outside. She stared down the mountain towards Dorfli, wondering where Georg and Brigitta were and how they were doing. It was amazing, she mused, how her heart could be in two places at once. It was here with her children, and yet it was also down in this unknown village with her husband and other daughter as well. The previous night had been the first night they had been separated since they were married. She missed Georg so much she physically ached.

oooooooooooo

The children were still not awake when Tobias Kramer looked out the window to see the familiar sight of the goat boy, Pietr, coming up with his flock to collect Swanli and Baerli for the day. Pietr came almost every day, early in the morning, bringing the town's goats up into the mountains to graze. Tobias liked Pietr. He was an honest, hard working boy of twelve who never complained and knew the mountains and the alm almost as well as Kramer himself. A poor boy, he lived with his blind grandmother across the alm. Almost every morning, before it was light, he walked into Dorfli, collected the goats, and led them back into the mountains. Seeing Pietr come to collect Swanli and Baerli was one of the most familiar sights of the day, but today, Tobias realized, there was something different. He narrowed his eyes trying to pin point the difference. Then he realized that the flock was larger by two goats, and that Pietr was carrying a much larger sack than usual.

Maria hurried to her feet in surprise. The day before had been one of Pietr's rare days off, and she wasn't expecting to see anyone. But mountain raised and farm bred, she quickly realized that he was the local goat boy that any mountain town would have. Yet before he went to the house to greet Herr Kramer, or the barn to collect the goats, Pietr stopped in front of Maria.

"Baroness Von Trapp?" he asked, taking off his hat nervously.

"I … yes," Maria answered, momentarily flustered. How did he know who she was? How had he learned her last name? Had he met Georg? Had something bad happened that had revealed their last name?

Her concerns were quickly laid to rest as he broke into an easy grin.

"The Baron, your husband, described you well," he explained.

She relaxed quickly, realizing that he had been sent by Georg, but also realizing that although Georg had revealed their last name, he had not revealed his military title of Captain." As always, she followed his lead, understanding that they were now 'Baron and Baroness Von Trapp', rather than 'Captain and Baroness Von Trapp'.

"The Baron asked me to deliver this to you," Pietr continued, handing her a letter, folded and sealed. She was so eager to hear from Georg that it took all of Maria's self discipline not to rip it open at that moment.

"He also asked me to ask you to accompany me to speak with Herr Kramer, if you weren't already with him," Pietr finished with a note of satisfaction. He had been paid well for this mission, and the first part of his message had been delivered perfectly. He had been a bit nervous about encountering an actual Baroness staying with Herr Kramer, but he had immediately realized that this Baroness was even less assuming than her husband. 'Kind and loving' were the words that popped into his head.

"Well, then let's go find Herr Kramer," Maria responded sweetly, clutching the letter as though her life depended on it.

oooooooooooo

Tobias had watched the exchange from the window. It was obvious that Maria had gotten a letter from her husband, and he was relieved for her. Whatever news it contained, it had to be good just to hear from him.

He watched the pair approach the house and put on the gruff exterior he usually used when talking with Pietr. Although he didn't know it, that exterior was beginning to crack.

"Well?" Kramer asked abruptly as they walked to the door. "Swanli and Baerli are in the barn. You won't find them in here!"

Maria was slightly taken aback by his tone, but then had to hide a smile as she saw through his act. Very well. He was indulging her by not asking unnecessary questions. She could indulge him by not giving away his act, although she suspected that Pietr knew it was an act as well as she did.

"Yes, sir" Pietr agreed, "but I have a … a message for you from the Baron Von Trapp." Pietr spoke with the air of a child having more authority than he was used to having, and who was enjoying every moment of it.

'Von Trapp,' Tobias thought to himself as he caught Maria's eye. 'Well, well. And a Baron at that. I knew they were a wealthy family.' Tobias, however, did not let on that any of this was new information to him, and he kept up his gruff façade.

"Well, out with it boy," he barked.

"Please Herr Kramer, I need to come inside," Pietr explained.

Tobias sighed in mock exasperation. "Very well then," he said as he moved aside. "But don't touch anything!"

Pietr walked purposefully to the kitchen where he opened and began unloading his very large and overflowing sack. He pulled out cheese, sausage and fruit, butter and jam, and plenty of each of them. Tobias was stunned at the sight of the food, though once he got over his initial surprise he heaved a quiet sigh of thanks. He'd be able to keep feeding this family for that much longer. And he was surprised at Georg's insight. Sending food was much more useful than sending money. What was he, Tobias, going to do with money up in the alm with seven – no eight if he counted himself – mouths to feed.

Maria couldn't help but smile. It was a triumphant smile of satisfaction so she tried to keep it subdued – it just played around the corners of her mouth. The sight of the food meant that Georg had been able to get at least some money from his Swiss bank accounts, which was a relief. But she also knew that Herr Kramer had underestimated her husband as a wealthy gentleman who had no idea what it was like to live hand to mouth. She didn't want to gloat. It wasn't appropriate and it was giving far too much credit to humans than to God, but she knew that Herr Kramer was quickly revising his opinion of Georg.

"Herr Kramer, sir," Pietr said, interrupting both of their happiness and relief. "Excuse me sir, but there is more.

"More?" Tobias asked in confusion. How could there be more than this? This would allow him to feed the family for at least another day or so, and it proved to him that this wealthy gentleman did understand his needs.

"Yes, sir," continued Pietr. This time he walked to the doorway and out of the house, Tobias and Maria trailing behind him in confusion and anticipation.

Pietr pointed to his flock. "You see those two new nannies? The fat speckled one and the fat brown one?" Pietr asked.

"Yes, of course," Tobias said skeptically.

Maria's heart began to race in anticipation, and once again she knew her husband had outdone anyone's expectations.

"Well, I hope that Swanli and Baerli are ready for some company," Pietr explained. "Because they're both yours, with the … courtesy and … gratitude … of the Baron Von Trapp," Pietr finished triumphantly. It was obvious he had practiced these exact words on his way up the mountain, and was proud of himself, not only for delivering such a generous gift but also for getting the right words to go along with the gift.

If Tobias Kramer had been surprised by the sight of the food he was stunned into silence at the sight of the two new goats. This would double his livestock, double his milk and cheese produce, double the most valuable of his revenue. He walked silently up to his two new goats and began to examine them. Georg Von Trapp could not have chosen better. They were fat, healthy, and ready to give lots of milk and cheese. He was surprised to find his eyes welling up with tears and quickly hid them by bending down to look at their hooves and blinking them back.

"Well, I suppose they'll do," he said gruffly. "It's a good thing the barn is big enough."

Maria couldn't hide her grin anymore. Georg could not have done better. Livestock

was more valuable to a subsistence farmer than money. But the fact that he had been able to buy such fine goats definitely meant that he had his hands on a comfortable amount of money. She found herself clutching the letter even more tightly, eager to read what he had to say, confident that at least some of it would be positive.

His messages and gifts delivered, Pietr broke his somewhat formal posturing. "He did say he would have sent chickens as well, but they're too difficult to herd up a mountain."

Ooooooo

Between the three of them and the herd of goats, they had made enough noise to wake the children, who finally came pouring out of the barn, once again in different states of dishevelment.

They all started exclaiming excitedly over the large herd of goats until Maria got their attention by clapping her hands. "Children," she began, "breakfast is almost ready. Herr Kramer has also acquired two new goats. They'll be spending the day with Pietr, along with Swanli and Baerli" (the younger children groaned in disappointment at this) "but all four goats will be back later today."

Marta had crept up to Herr Kramer without his noticing, and so he was startled to feel her tugging on his jacket. "Herr Kramer," she asked quietly, "are they girl goats or boy goats?"

"Girl goats," he responded as he watched a shy smile spread across her face. "Do you approve … Marta?" he asked, fishing for her name. Marta nodded vigorously. She was still at the stage where she preferred anything that was a girl over a boy, from dolls to goats.

"What are you going to name them?" Gretl asked more boldly.

The question hadn't occurred to him yet, he was so overwhelmed by the generosity of the gift. But looking down into her face, he knew the answer. "Why, Marta and … " he looked helplessly at Maria and watched her carefully mouth the name 'Gretl.' "Marta and Gretl of course," Tobias concluded as the two small girls squealed in delight.

"All right," Maria said, taking charge of her children again, "we'll decide which is which later today when Pietr returns with them. Right now, inside for breakfast!"

She heard some cheering at that as well, but it was mostly from Kurt.

Maria desperately wanted to leave the children to their breakfast and go read her letter from her husband, but she knew she needed to be a mother first at that moment. Leaving all six children alone with Herr Kramer for breakfast would be utterly irresponsible.

Pietr collected Swanli and Baerli and took off up the mountain with the flock, now increased by two.

ooooooo

As Maria ushered the children into the small house and got them settled for breakfast, she could smell the the fruits of her labor: the bread was just finished baking. It would be delicious with the new butter and jam. 'A drink with jam and bread,' she thought to herself, and smiled inwardly.


	11. Letters

After the children had finally finished eating breakfast and had gone off to either finish getting themselves tidied up or to help Herr Kramer clean up after breakfast, Maria quietly slipped outside and sat down in the grass, again looking down the mountain into Dorfli. The letter that she had slipped inside the top of her dress felt like it was burning a hole in her chest. Finally, with a few moments to herself, she took it out and read what her husband had to say.

oooooooooo

'Dearest Maria,

I pray that this letter finds you and our children as well as you were when I left you a day ago. It feels as though it's been so much longer. I miss your face, your voice, even the smell, of you more than I can say. If all goes well, I will be able to come for you in a few days.

As I'm sure you deduced from the gifts I sent with Pietr, I was able to reach several Swiss bank accounts and collect most of the money I had forwarded here. We have as much as I could have hoped. Our lives here will not be glamorous, but they will be comfortable.

Dorfli is a lovely village, but it is quaint and small. There is no place here that can even compare to our villa back home. I do believe, however, that such a small town would be an ideal place for us to live right now. The men we are trying to avoid would have to specifically know of this town to even try to find us. A big city may be more anonymous, but it would also be more obvious. I feel safer just knowing that we are comfortably behind the Swiss border, and it also seems that almost all of the people I have met in Dorfli do not approve of the German regime.

Brigitta and are staying in the inn that Herr Kramer recommended. His directions were impeccable. The inn is clean and comfortable, but far too small for our entire family.

You would be as proud of Brigitta as I am. She seems to intuitively know who to trust, and who to still be wary of. She has also remained as silent as I could have hoped, revealing nothing of our situation.

I spent most of the day yesterday contacting banks, and then figuring out how to get more food to you and to Herr Kramer. I feel fortunate that we met Pietr. Brigitta seems to have taken an instant liking to him, and he to her. He seems as honest and hardworking a boy as I could hope our boys will be here.

There are a few houses for sale here. None, of course, anywhere near as large as the home we left. We are still looking at the houses, but the one that seems to have the most promise also seems to need the most work. It is the largest, with 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms, a large kitchen, and some sitting rooms. It is also on the furthest outskirts of town, closer to the mountains than any other house available and with a river nearby. However, it has very little furniture and the roof are in need of repair. It is also the only house that Brigitta approves of. I can't tell you – again – how right you were when you said she notices everything. Every other house has had some fatal flaw that she has discovered. Either it is too close to the village and will be too noisy and public, or the kitchen is not well situated with the dining room, or the bedrooms and bathrooms are not conducive to being shared by our particular set of children.

If I do not find a better house, my plan is to buy this one and get enough beds installed as quickly as possible so that you can move in here and finally sleep properly again. However, I don't want to draw too much attention to our family at first, so I'm also hoping that you can use your skills as a seamstress to help outfit our family. Although I'm afraid you'll need to make drapes as well as clothes, instead of drapes for clothes! Nine people shopping all over the village would be too conspicuous.

I am also going to try to hire a cook but am wary about letting a stranger into our home at this time. My sense of propriety and practicality says to find a cook, but my sense of caution says that may be a dangerous addition.

I trust that the gifts I sent will be helpful. I know you need as much food as you can get, but Herr Kramer is also a man whose friendship I want to keep. I hope he approves of the goats. I never thought I'd buy goats, but it seemed to be the best gift to give him. Pietr was a help.

I hope – I plan – to send more with Pietr tomorrow.

In the meantime, tell the children that I love them and that we will be together soon. Know that I love you with all my heart.

I think of the six of them up in the mountains, sleeping in a hayloft, and I am filled with concern for them. Then I remember that you are with them and I know they are, and will be, fine. And probably treating the whole affair as a jolly picnic by now.

I can't wait to be with you again. I'm sorry we've had to be separated so early - so dramatically – into our marriage. I miss more than the sound and sight of you, I miss the feel and taste of you.

Know that I am working as fast as I can to bring all of you down here with me.

All my love, G'

oooooooooo

Maria fell back onto the grass and stretched out with a happy and relieved sigh. They were fine. She knew how relieved Georg must be that they still had a good amount of money and she was relieved as well, more for him than for herself. It would have been awful for him to be stranded in another country with all of the children and no money, living hand to mouth. The fact that he was still able to provide for his family must have been a relief for him.

It was also so good to hear what they were doing down in Dorfli and what his options were. A large house on the edge of the town sounded perfect, even if it needed some repairs. It wouldn't be the villa – nothing could ever be the villa – but as long as they were together it would be home.

Although she knew how much he loved her it was equally, if not even more, gratifying to hear his words of love. Feeling like a silly teenager she raised the letter to her lips, almost but not quite kissing it.

But she could not agree with this thought of hiring a cook. The danger of allowing anyone into their home at this stage was too great, and she was a perfectly sufficient cook to take care of her family. Plus, she was already starting to teach Liesl and Louisa how to cook. Although Liesl was taking to it much more. Louisa still wanted to spend as much time as possible outdoors.

There was no question in her mind. They could take care of themselves. She knew how to cook, she knew how to sew, and there was no need to hire help at this early stage. Just being in a house and sleeping in beds would feel like luxury after what they'd been through.

oooooooooo

Maria made sure that all of the children were occupied in some way; helping or playing, depending on what was appropriate, and she decided to take the time to write a letter back to Georg. He would need to know how they were and what she was thinking just as much as she needed to hear from him.

She procured some paper and a pen from Herr Kramer, who gave it to her with a knowing smile, and sat down to write.

'My Darling Georg,

I hardly know how to begin this letter! I want to tell you so many things first! I want to tell you how much I love you and miss you, I want to tell you the children are all doing well, I want to tell you what a wonderful, perfect gift the food and the goats were. There are so many things I want to say that I hardly know where to start! But I guess I have already started.

I am delighted to hear of your success with the banks. I never doubted, my darling, that you would find a way to provide for us here. I'm also glad to hear that Brigitta is doing well and is discerning when it comes to houses, but I am not surprised. That's our girl, and she's probably enjoying being with you and having such grown up responsibilities.

Even though I have not seen it, the large house on the edge of town sounds perfect. We can easily fit into 5 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms – after all, we have been living outdoors or in a barn for the last several days. If you feel the repairs needed are not too severe and that you can start getting furniture quickly, I would love to think that you've found our home!

I must agree with you that bringing a cook into our house would be dangerous right now, and I want to tell you there is no need for one. I am no expert, but I can easily cook well enough to feed our family. Liesl is learning to cook as well. Nine people will keep us busy but it will be safer than bringing a stranger into our house when we are so new to this village.

I know you will do what is best, but there is no way we be able to hide nine people moving into such a small village. Even once you buy a house, people will know about it. If you buy this house you have told me about, people in such a small town will already know that it has very little furniture and that it needs repairs, so they will be wondering about - and discussing – what we are buying and how we are fixing the house. I'm afraid gossips are found as much in small mountain towns as they are in large cities. In small mountain towns it's all the worse because there aren't as many people to talk about! I believe that if we try to stay too hidden we will become mysterious and attract more attention. We won't be able to hide that we are Austrian, we won't be able to hide the condition of the house we buy, and we won't be able to hide that we are a large family!

I do think it is wise though – if you agree – to keep our financial status as quiet as possible, and I think we should try to keep it quiet that we are arriving with no luggage – only the clothes on our backs. I will be happy to be seamstress as well in our new home, but even given this, I think we should buy each of the children some basic items when we arrive. Making clothes for nine people will take time, and they have been living in the same clothes for several days now. They have learned how to clean their clothes, though I'm sorry to say that something about living outdoors like this has made them a little more immodest than they used to be. I have had to explain to Gretl that I cannot wash everything she is wearing at once or she will have nothing to wear at all!

That makes me wonder – have you and Brigitta bought any new clothes? I think of you every moment of the day and want to know what you are doing and what you have done – even the smallest details. I cannot wait to be with you again.

Be assured that we are all safe. Friedrich has taken his role very seriously and I highly doubt that anyone could come down through the Swiss mountains without first being found by him. There is still some sadness and heaviness in their hearts, but as we get settled again and they realize they are truly safe and loved, I have no doubt that they will return to their old selves. In the meantime I am making sure that they are still having time to be children, to play, and we keep singing.

Ooops – I must dash. The younger children have finished getting ready for the day and are looking for me.

We all love you very much and can't wait to be reunited.

PS (added later) I have told Pietr that you will pay him for delivering this. If you can tomorrow, please send up paper and pen so that I can keep writing to you. Herr Kramer doesn't have much of a supply.

All my love goes with this letter.

Maria

ooooooooo

The next morning, after Maria had set another loaf of bread to rise and before the children were awake she went to sit in what had become "her" spot, anxiously looking down into Dorfli. She didn't know if Pietr would bring another letter from Georg, but she dearly hoped she would hear from him. She hadn't thought it was possible to miss her husband more than she had the day before, but she did. She burned with how much she missed holding him, and she felt like a part of her was down in Dorfli before she was there in person.

She hadn't been able to stop thinking of what he was doing down in the town. The potential house sounded ideal. She realized that she would hate living in the middle of a town, even if it was a small one. She hadn't thought of it before receiving Georg's letter, but she had largely lived a quiet life. First in the mountains, then in the abbey, and then in the villa. Though the villa was loud with the sound of the children, it was far away from anything else. Maybe that was why she had always loved music so much. There had always been room for it in her life - always space to fill with the sound of beautiful music. She hoped that Georg would find a quiet home that they could fill with music, but she also trusted him to choose the very best house possible.

As Maria sat watching the sunrise and dreaming of their new home in Dorfli, the figure of Pietr and his goats came into view. There was another figure strapped onto his back that was so familiar – so unmistakable – and so perfect that her eyes again unexpectedly filled with tears. She blinked them back quickly as Pietr approached and stood up to greet him.

"Good morning, Baroness," he said cheerily, lifting his hat. "As you can see I have more presents for you from the Baron."

"Good morning, Pietr," Maria responded fondly. She already liked the boy, and hearing that he had befriended Brigitta made her like him more. "I see that. Shall we go to the house so that you can unload your burden before you collect the goats?"

Pietr nodded in agreement and the pair of them walked the short distance to the house, Maria slightly behind, admiring the familiar curves of the guitar case strapped to Pietr's back. Everything about the last few days had been so urgent and so primal that she hadn't even realized how much she missed her guitar. Yet Georg obviously knew, to send her one so quickly. That he had bought her a guitar before they were even settled reminded her of how well he knew her, through and through, and made her love him all the more.

Maria smiled again. Just when she thought her heart had expanded to the fullest – when she thought she already possessed all the love in the world – her love expanded that much more. 'I never knew it was so wonderful to be in love,' she thought to herself, 'and I could never have imagined being so loved.'

oooooooo

Maria had already opened and played her new guitar before reading the corresponding letter. She couldn't resist seeing and hearing it, and the children had wanted to see and hear it as well. It was a beautiful instrument with a sweet and mellow sound, perfect to sing to. But now the guitar was back in its case and Maria went back to her spot to read her letter.

'My Beautiful Wife,

It was so good to hear from you and to hear that you and the children are all well and safe. I also appreciated hearing your views on small town living. Who would have thought that when I had the extraordinarily good taste to fall in love with the spirited governess who had helped bring my family back together, I was also falling in love with the woman that would become such a help on this … journey.

I have bought the house I told you about, the one on the edge of town. I am convinced that it is the best house for us in Dorfli and that Dorfli is the best place for us to stay right now. I bought the house quickly, and I am sure people are talking, but I am too eager to be reunited and bring the rest of you under a proper roof again that I decided that was worth it. I have also ordered 7 single beds and 1 large bed, with all of the appropriate bedclothes. So people also know that there will be 9 of us, but as you said, that couldn't be hidden.

I already have a man repairing the roof, and as for the rest of any repairs – they can be done while we are living there.

Brigitta and I have already selected who will sleep where. You and I, my love, have the master suite, of course, with the large attached bathroom (had I mentioned there was a master suite?). Marta and Gretl will share a room as will Brigitta and Louisa, and the four of them will share a bathroom as well. The boys will share a room and a bathroom, of course. And there is one small, lone garrett room that we thought Liesl could have. She will have to come downstairs for the bathroom, but hopefully she won't mind as she will have her own room.

Most of the home preparations will be done under your watch, Maria, but the beds should be delivered and in place by this evening.

As for the rest of the plans, I do think it will be wise to use your skills as a cook for now. I hope this does not take too much of your time away from us and from the children, but I am too reluctant to hire household help yet.

It has been illuminating to spend a few days alone with Brigitta. I thought I had come to know them all so well this past summer, but I find there is so much more to know. She is very well educated about what is happening in the world, and has very strong views as well. Yet she is still a child, and has the fearful vulnerability of a child. I think it was that vulnerability that has surprised me most of all. I am watching her struggle with the same questions I asked as a young man during the War: how could such evil be possible? Where was God? Has the good in the world been overshadowed by evil? Yet she told me that somehow good always works out in the end, and that when the Lord closes a door, someway He opens a window. I wonder where she heard that?

It is comforting to know that our children have such a wise, reassuring and loving mother. Not that I ever doubted that, my love!

I have also seen her spirits rise as we found the house, befriended Pietr, and selected the guitar. Good things still can and do happen.

Now, about that guitar, I hope I did an adequate job of selecting it. I know that if you were here you would be able to buy a guitar with a much more experienced eye, but I couldn't bear to think of you up there without a guitar. But then, this family will need more than one guitar I should think. This is just the first, and a small token of how much I love you.

Because we have the house now and will have the beds set up, Brigitta and I will come for you in the morning. I can hardly wait, my darling, to be with you again. It is a long trek back and forth so we will leave shortly after Pietr and should thus arrive slightly after him.

All my love, Georg'


	12. Another Goodbye

Early the next morning, 7 Von Trapps were fed and outdoors, waiting for their father (or husband in one particular case) and for their future.

The children were all still exhausted. Sleeping in the hay, though preferable to the ground, was far from a bed, let alone the kind of beds that they were used to. Plus they had woken up earlier this morning than they had on the last several mornings.

Pietr's arrival caused a lot of excitement. Most of the children had seen or heard of him, but not met him. Though he was obviously busy and feeling the importance of his job, he took the time to fully introduce himself to all of the children. Maria smiled inside, knowing that her family had found its second Swiss friend.

As Pietr collected Swanli, Baerli, Marta and Gretl (the goats, not the girls) the younger children started to collectively complain about the fact that they wouldn't be seeing the goats anymore.

Amidst the moans and woeful chattering Maria heaved a deep sigh. Much as she loved them, seven children were tiring, especially because they were still children. And here she had only six of them! Switching into her best governess-and-mother-getting-attention-mode she clapped her hands and projected over the cacophony. "Children," she announced once they had quieted down, "if any of you would rather stay here in the barn with the goats, I'll see if I can arrange that with Herr Kramer. The rest of us will be moving down to our new house in Dorfli."

She had no intention of leaving any of them behind, but she also knew they wouldn't call her bluff. They stayed largely quiet after that bidding farewell to the goats. Marta quickly forgot about the goats and moved as close to Maria as she could, grabbing onto her skirt in the process.

Maria wrapped her arm around Marta, knowing that she was still feeling very insecure. Then she knelt down and looked Marta in the eyes. "Don't worry darling," she assured her, "we would never leave you."

"Promise?" Marta asked in a voice that was hardly discernable.

"Promise," Maria assured her again, and stood back up, beckoning to the rest of the children to join her so that Pietr could be on his way.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Herr Kramer watched this interaction from the window. He had never had or been part of a large family before and found it fascinating to watch them. He noticed how much Maria communicated with the children non-verbally, and how well she could get their attention when they were as distracted as they had been over saying goodbye to the goats. To him, it was more evidence of how much they adored her and what a good mother she was to them. Their bond and communication was visible, even to an outsider.

He had mixed feelings about them leaving: relief that he wouldn't have to keep finding enough to feed them, and sadness about their absence. His life had never been as full and rich as it had been these last few days with so much company. He had learned he wasn't quite the confirmed hermit he had thought he was. He hoped, but didn't believe, that he would see them again. He wasn't good at saying good-bye and was hoping to avoid it by staying in his cabin.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Captain Von Trapp finally crested the hill and saw the rest of his family for the first time in days, he only had eyes for one and she was glowing. Days of sleeping in a hayloft, living outdoors and wearing the same set of clothes hadn't dampened her beauty one bit. He actually thought she looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her. She was smiling back at him and they locked eyes, sharing their own private moment even as he was closing the distance between them.

He was tempted to throw restraint to the wind and sweep her up in his arms, but never got the chance as six children charged towards him and Brigitta with glad shouts and welcomes. He greeted all of his children enthusiastically, but still had a hard time catching the breath that the sight of Maria had taken out of his chest.

Maria stood back, watching the children crowd around their father. The mother in her was happy to see them reunited with their father, but wife in her was more than captivated by her husband. He was so handsome, even more than she remembered. As the children finally moved out of the way for them to greet each other, she felt like her heart was beating out of her chest with anticipation. Although married and absolutely certain of Georg's love for her, Maria felt very similar to the way she had that fateful night in the gazebo when she first heard that the Captain and Baroness had called off their engagement.

Still chaste in front of the children, the two first hugged for several long moments. The children, mostly unconcerned with their parents' reunion, chattered amongst themselves, peppering Brigitta with questions about Dorfli and their new home. Finally, unable to resist and realizing that most of their children were paying more attention to Brigitta than to them, Georg pulled Maria's face up for a kiss. Chaste, but incredibly tender. She rested her head against his shoulder for a few more moments before the two inevitably had to separate.

After a few more moments of holding his wife and watching his children, the Captain asked after Herr Kramer.

"In the house," Maria responded, regretfully letting go of him.

"I'll be right back," Georg replied, kissing her gently on the forehead.

oooooooooooooooooooo

Herr Kramer saw the Baron approaching the house and despite himself felt a slight trepidation. These two men had helped each other immeasurably over the last two days, both had bonds with Maria and the children, yet they hardly knew each other. And as much as Herr Kramer was relieved to see this family head down to Dorfli to get properly settled, he couldn't help but feel a slight bit of envy towards this man who had claim to all seven of the people he had become so fond of, and couldn't help but resent him slightly for taking them away.

He swallowed any negative feelings down quickly, however, and reminded himself that this was the way things were supposed to be. He, Herr Kramer, lived alone in the alm. That was how he had arranged it, that was how he liked it. He had helped a family in need, and had profited from it in the process. That experience was over now.

But the music … he would miss the music.

Herr Kramer opened the door for the Captain before Georg had even knocked on the door.

As Georg entered the small house, the two men locked eyes for a few minutes. They had sized each other up when they first met, and were sizing each other up once again now that they knew something about each other.

Georg spoke first. "Herr Kramer," he began, "I can never.." but he found himself quickly cut off.

"Tobias," Herr Kramer insisted, without knowing why. Georg could see the man's eyes soften, and felt himself soften even more in return.

"Tobias," Georg began again, "I can never thank you enough for what you have done for my family." He held out a large wad of Swiss francs and continued. "I hope this may be of some use to you in the time ahead. And if there is ever anything we can do in return, please know that you have a friend for life."

Herr Kramer looked at the money. His first instinct was not to take it, but he knew that it would be inevitably helpful. He also didn't want to insult this man who effortlessly commanded respect, and whose family he was growing to love.

"Thank you," he responded, taking the money. "Your family – your wife – they are remarkable. It's been a privilege. I thank you as well for the goats. Please know that you also have a friend in the mountain, should you ever need him again."

Each breaking character, they smiled a little at each other, finding a kinship that crossed years, boundaries, and cultures.

oooooooooooooo

The moment was interrupted by a knock on the door, and Maria stepped into the small house. She stepped naturally to Georg's side, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders while she wrapped hers around his waist. She breathed in the now familiar air of this house once again.

"I couldn't leave without thanking you and saying good-bye," she explained to Herr Kramer.

Months ago she had learned that if you couldn't properly say good-bye to a person or a place, it might not be right to leave at all.

Still, Herr Kramer avoided her eyes and she impulsively walked up and hugged him. After hugging him, she looked him in the eyes and smiled. "You've given us more than I can ever say. Not just food and a place to stay, but a reminder that there still are truly good people in the world."

Herr Kramer looked at her and nodded. He understood what she meant, because this remarkable young woman had also taught him about the caliber of people in the world that he simply hadn't met yet.

"I hope you don't mind visitors," Maria continued. "We love walking in the mountains, and we intend to keep you as a friend."

Herr Kramer harrumphed in a way that he knew Maria could see right through. "If I have to have visitors, I suppose you'll do," he responded.

"Well then, if you wouldn't mind stepping outside, we would like to say good-bye to you as a family." She leaned forward and reassured him, "you don't have to do or say anything, just come outside." And so Herr Kramer found himself being pulled outside by her magnetic appeal.

Maria linked hands with Georg as he whispered to her in confusion "what is going on here?"

Maria whispered back "Don't worry darling, just follow my lead."

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Before he knew it, Georg found himself standing next to Maria, with all of the children piled behind them, just as they had performed during the encore at the festival. Maria picked up the guitar he had sent her, played the opening chords and started singing:

"There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall,

and the bells in the steeple too,

and up in the nursery an absurd little bird is popping out to say 'coo coo."

This time Georg wasn't as surprised when his children poked their heads out from every which way and he carried along with his portion of the song:

"Regretfully they tell us

But firmly they compel us

To say good-bye…"

"To you!" they all sang together.

Georg and Maria stepped off to the side as the children took the center, though she continued playing the guitar.

Georg hadn't ever anticipated singing for this man, but as he had learned, life with Maria was full of surprises, and it was not infrequent that those surprises involved music.

As the song ended, the children all impulsively rushed forward to give Herr Kramer a goodbye hug. As with so many things that had happened over the last few days, the song and this display of affection was more than he had anticipated. He crumbled just as Georg had when he had first heard his children singing, and Herr Kramer hugged each one of the children, kneeling down to hug the smallest ones. Even Brigitta, who he had hardly known, he hugged. She had been hanging back in a way that he found all too familiar, and so he pulled her forward for as big a hug as he was giving all the other children. As a young man he had learned to reject people before they had the opportunity to reject him, and he didn't want this beautiful, soulful girl learning the same bad habit.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As the children rejoined their parents, they waved a final good-bye and began the journey down into Dorfli


	13. Down to Dorfli

As Maria walked the steep and winding path down into Dorfli she had the eerie feeling that she was seeing something for the first time that would become very familiar. She felt Marta's small hand held tightly in hers and looked down at the path directly in front of her daughter, making sure there was nothing that would trip her. Reassured, Maria looked up again and watched as her whole family stretched out in front of her, led by the Captain, their father, her husband.

They had spent so much time walking that it was almost too familiar to be walking again, but Maria was very aware that their pace was faster and the children more spirited. They were no longer walking into the unknown, but towards their home. Towards beds, real beds. To new clothes, hot baths, and most of all to stability – the most important thing that had been taken from them.

Maria let her mind wander, thinking of all the things she wanted to do once they were settled in Dorfli. It was hard to know what to do first: finally spend time alone with her husband, start making clothes for the children, buy clothes for them, start establishing their house, furnish the kitchen, and she was sure she'd think of more things once she arrived. If Maria thought about it all at once it was quite overwhelming. She would have to face it all step by step, and she knew she'd have good help in Liesl, and possibly in Louisa as well.

Her eyes instinctively went to Liesl's back and she felt a pang of guilt. Maria had been leaning on her heavily for the last few days, and knew she would continue to do so as they were getting established in their new home. She also knew that Liesl would continue to help as cheerfully and steadfastly as she already had been. But Maria also knew that below the surface Liesl was not well.

Each of the children had his or her own trauma and heartache to deal with in leaving Austria, and in some cases she had been able to spend time tending to that heartache. Not so with Liesl. She had just leaned on her oldest daughter for help, but as she watched Liesl walking down the path into Dorfli, Maria began to think of just how hurt Liesl probably was.

Maria, more than anyone, knew of Liesl's affection for Ralph. She also knew that he had ended things between them, but that originally Liesl had been optimistic after their talk in one of the many sitting room of the villa. But the two of them hadn't had one of their heart to hearts since then, and too much had happened.

Each child was nursing her or her own particular fears and heartache – Maria knew that all too well. She also knew that Liesl's heartache was different – and probably deeper – than most of the other children. After what happened at the abbey … well, it was one thing to be rejected by your first love. It was another thing entirely to be betrayed as Liesl had been betrayed. To have your first love threaten your family's very existence and to hold a gun to your father … well that was no ordinary parting of ways. Knowing Liesl as she did, how much she loved the whole family and what a romantic she was, Maria knew that Ralph's betrayal had probably shaken Liesl to the core.

Maria was also painfully aware that Liesl probably hadn't forgiven herself for the gasp that had given away her family. She had heard Liesl make a momentary plea to her former boyfriend which he had obviously completely ignored and rejected. Her oldest daughter was at such a tender stage when it came to romance and boys, and she, her new mother, had been letting her bear that burden alone for the last several days.

Deep down, Maria knew she had no choice. At first they were just trying to survive and make it through the Alps to the safety of Switzerland. Then as Georg left, Maria had to focus on the welfare of the entire family, especially looking after the younger ones. She had needed Liesl's help and had received it fully and without complaint. But now that the family was reunited and things were falling into place, Maria was painfully aware of how much Liesl probably had needed her that entire time.

Suddenly things snapped into place in her mind. They would arrive in Dorfli at their new home, get familiar with it, get as settled as they could, and then Maria would go out shopping for clothes and material, bringing Liesl with her. Most of the children would want to rest on their new beds anyway, and Georg could watch those who didn't fall asleep. She needed time with her oldest daughter, and knew Georg would understand.

However, Maria also knew that she was a wife first, and she wanted – needed – to spend a little bit of time alone with Georg before she and Liesl went shopping.

Her mind made up as to how to handle things, Maria felt lighter and less burdened as she continued following her husband and family down the steep trail into Dorfli.

ooooooooo

The Captain felt better than he had in days. It had been such a blessing that they had met Herr Kramer, and finding out how much money they had in Switzerland had been an incredible boost. But this was the first time he was starting to feel right since that fateful telegram had arrived.

His family was healthy and together again. They had made it through the Alps and were no longer walking into the unknown, but towards their new house. He knew it would take a lot of work to get his family completely settled in this new house, especially considering that they were arriving with nothing. But things felt stable again. He was providing for his family again rather than pulling them away from every thing and every comfort they had ever known. Soon they would be settled again. It would be different, but they would make it right. 'Actually,' he thought to himself, 'Maria will probably be the one to make things right.' She always had. From the beginning, when he'd been a boor with a whistle and uniforms, to the most recent days, Maria had always been able to make things right. Right with him, right with the entire family. God, did he love her.

Georg paused for a moment, pretending to let his family catch up, but he really just wanted to turn and look at Maria. Sometimes he still needed reminders that she was real, she was his wife, and she loved him as he loved her. As he looked back at her, he saw that she was looking directly at him. Their eyes met, and a small smile passed between the two of them, unnoticed by most of the children. As for the Captain, he was reassured. She was his wife, the mother of his children, and things would be right again. After a quick wink in Maria's direction, he turned back towards the trail and kept walking. The sooner they arrived at their new house, the better.

oooooooo

After a long walk down a steep trail, and several pairs of aching feet, the 9 Von Trapps arrived at their new house. As Georg had said, it was nothing compared to the villa they had left. There were no gates, no formal drive. Just a large front door that opened into a house that was as charming as it was empty and rustic.

The children seemed to feel immediately at home. There was none of the quiet reserve they had shown when they had first met Herr Kramer, and the aching feet seemed to be forgotten. They scrambled through the house, finding the sitting rooms, the kitchen, the dining room, (and some, right away, the bathrooms). They were all delighted as they reached the back of the house and saw the open deck that faced out towards a stream and the mountain they had just walked down. Though smaller and much less formal, it was vaguely reminiscent of the backyard of the villa.

As Brigitta happily ran around, pointing out things the others might have missed, Maria wrapped her arms around her husband. "It's perfect," she said, resting her head against his chest. "Thank you."

"Mmmmm," he murmured in response. "Yes, well, let's show them to their bedrooms. They're bound to tire out soon."

Maria nodded in response. "Yes, let's … see the bedrooms," she agreed.

The two walked out onto the back porch where the children had gathered. "All right, back inside for bedroom assignments," their father announced. "Everybody already has his or her own bed waiting."

The children poured happily back into the house and this news, all eager to see their bedrooms.

ooooooooo

Once the children were all ensconced in their own rooms – and some had fallen asleep almost immediately – Maria and Georg finally made their way to their own bedroom. As she opened the door, Maria was overcome by the beauty of the space. It was empty except for a bed, but the ceiling slanted down in the far corner of the room following the roof, and there were two dormer windows under that slanted ceiling. However she was most captivated by the large picture window that looked out towards the back of the house – towards the mountains. She stood there for a few moments without saying anything, and Georg walked up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, sharing her enjoyment of the view. Maria felt his arms wrap around her. It felt so good to be close to him that she let her own arms rest on his, and leaned back onto his chest.

They stood like that for a few more moments before Georg whispered in her ear "Thank you."

Maria stood up a bit in surprise. "What? Why? What for?" she asked in some bewilderment.

Georg pulled her back towards him so that he could whisper in her ear some more. "For marrying me. For loving me. For being the mother of my children. For getting us through this. Should I go on?" He asked, starting to kiss the tender skin below her ear.

Maria turned around in his arms, and her kiss in response was all the answer he needed. Slowly, Georg started to back up, pulling her with him and kissing her more passionately than he had in days. Finally he reached his goal as he backed up all the way to the bed, but instead of lowering her gently onto it, the two were so distracted by the taste and feel of each other that they wound up tumbling onto it, still locked in each others arms.

Maria couldn't help herself and let out a little giggle. It felt so good to be alone with her husband, in their own room, on their own bed. It also felt so good to be so abandoned in each other that they fell onto the bed rather than being suave, or calculatedly romantic. She let out another giggle. She was so happy, she couldn't help it.

Georg looked at her in surprise. Laughter was not the response he had been expecting. Yet he looked her deeply in the eyes and could tell she was laughing from sheer joy and the abandonment to it. It was infectious. The corners of his mouth began to twitch as well. Georg was not a man who laughed easily, yet here on his bed, alone with his wife, caught up in her joy and laughter, he couldn't help himself and finally let out a deep chuckle. He was laughing partly at himself for falling on the bed so unromantically, partly because it was the most genuine, romantic thing he could have done, and partly because Maria's laughter was so infectious.

The two of them lay on their new bed laughing, yet trying to smother the sound so that they wouldn't wake up any sleeping children. Maria kept trying to straighten her face so that she could kiss her husband the way she wanted to, but the more she tried, the more she failed.

Eventually, Georg was lying on his back with his head on his pillow, holding Maria in his arms. Her head was resting on his chest, and they were still laughing, though trying not to. After a little while, Georg felt Maria's giggles subside, and instead felt and heard her take a deep, shuddering sigh. To his even greater surprise, he discovered that she had started to cry. He tried to sit up, but she wouldn't let him, holding him in place, with her head still on his chest.

He started to stroke her hair and tried to comfort her. "Hey, what's this?" he finally asked gently, lifting her face towards his and wiping away some of her tears.

Maria took a few deep breaths and burrowed her face more deeply into his chest. She was as surprised as he was that she had started to cry, and didn't know how to explain it. "It's just … it's all so perfect!" she began. "And I missed you so much … and all those days in the Alps … and now we're here, at our new home, and it's so perfect!"

She propped her head up on his chest so that she could look him in the eyes. "I never doubted you, darling. Never. But it's such a relief."

Maria saw his eyes soften with understanding and she reached up to kiss him, pulling his head down to hers. As their kiss deepened, Georg pulled her fully on top of him and slid his hands under her shirt, loving the feel of her.

Maria pulled back in slight protest. "I haven't taken a proper bath in days, darling!"

"I don't care," Georg responded and pulled her closer again.

"I've been wearing the same clothes since we left Austria!" she protested again.

"I still don't care," he almost growled in response. "And it sounds like it's time to get you out of them." Georg rolled them both over so that he was on top of her, and began pulling her shirt up over her head.

Finally, unable to resist and caught up in her own desire, Maria began to undo the buttons on his shirt, pausing only to whisper "Is the door locked?"

"Oh yes," he growled into her ear, and nipped at her earlobe.

With all reserves gone and all considerations behind her, Maria finally gave in to the passion that was consuming her.

ooooooooooo

A little while later they were resting in bed together, hands locked and fingers entwined, fully sated.

"You mentioned that this room has its own bathroom?" Maria asked, breaking their comfortable silence.

"Why, yes it does," Georg answered, and gestured lazily at one of the doors.

"Then I think it's time for me to take a proper bath," Maria announced, happily.

She started to sit up, but then realizing the windows still had no curtains, reached towards the ground for the nearest piece of clothing, which turned out to be Georg's jacket. Maria wrapped it around herself and climbed out of bed.

"Remind me to make curtains for this room a top priority," she said over her shoulder to her husband, who smiled his agreement in response.


	14. The Courage to Love

Maria felt cleansed, inside and out. It had certainly helped to take a bath, but she felt even better from the out pouring of emotion that had engulfed her in her new bedroom with the Captain. She hadn't realized she had bottled up so many emotions, but the release was just what she hadn't known she needed. First the unstoppable laughter, then the tears, and finally the intimacy and passion she had shared with her husband. She felt lighter than she had for days. An emotional burden that she hadn't realized was weighing on her was finally getting released.

After the lovely bath, she had loathed to put on her same old dirty clothes. The irrational and impulsive side of her wanted to burn the clothes so that she would never see them again. But Maria also knew they'd need all the clothes they had until the whole family had full wardrobes. Maybe then she would burn that outfit … but probably not. Maria just couldn't stomach waste.

She was making a list of all the things she would need to do in Dorfli over the next few hours. The list made her want to go to sleep, but she knew all of it would be necessary. Besides, she was eager for a fresh change of clothes.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

At least one set of clothes for each of the children, for Georg and for me. Possibly two sets.

Several sets of underclothes for everyone.

Soap, 9 toothbrushes, and paste.

Material for drapes and new clothes

A sewing machine!

A full set of dishes, drinking glasses and cutlery.

A few pots and pans.

Food for dinner and for breakfast.

Here she paused. On top of everything she was doing she was also going to need to cook dinner for the entire family. Maria dropped her head into her hands and stared at the table for a few minutes. As all of her responsibilities started to sink in, she had a few moments of frustration, wondering how she was going to take care of her family in the many ways needed of her. 'Don't think about that now,' she told herself 'Just one day at a time. My family needs food and clothes. And Liesl needs me. I can handle this.'

Maria remembered her first journey to the villa and how she worked on finding her confidence. She had found the confidence, and more, within herself.

'I have confidence in sunshine,' she thought, humming to herself. 'I have confidence in rain. I have confidence that spring will come again, and besides what you see, I have confidence in me!'

Those words, from a song she had never shared with her family, roused her in the way that only music could. Spirited and confident again, she realized her family would need a proper dinner, and something different from the same food they had been eating for the last few days.

Something, fast, different and easy. 'Schnitzel!' she finally thought. 'With noodles, I suppose.' It was perfect: easy, fast, and one of their favorite meals. But she wanted to do something special as well. Something celebratory. Dessert. Definitely dessert. But what? A pie was the easiest answer, but what kind of pie? Then she remembered that blueberries were now in season, and not needing to be chopped or pitted, they made for the easiest pie.

With this plan in mind and the hours ticking away, Maria folded her list into her pocket and walked up the stairs to Liesl's small dormer room.

ooooooooooooooooo

Liesl had been appreciating the first time alone that she had had in days. She had thought she might cry, but tears wouldn't come. She felt as dry and hollow as a dead tree. So she sat on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees, and stared quietly out the dormer window that faced towards the mountains.

There had hardly been a moment since they fled from the abbey that she hadn't thought about Ralph. How he had heard her gasp of shock and used it against them, hiding and waiting for them to reveal themselves. She thought about how he had pointed his gun directly at her father, ready to take his life. And she thought about how much she had loved – or thought she loved – him. How could she have been so naïve?

Liesl also thought about the time he had kissed her in the gazebo. It had been her first kiss, so special that the memory of it had stayed on her lips for days. She touched her lips, remembering it again.

What had gone wrong? What was happening to the world that such a charming, appealing boy who had obviously cared about her once had been willing to betray her and her entire family, and to directly threaten her father's life?

Why had she been so stupid and naïve as to believe that he cherished her as much as she did him? And what was wrong with the world that he had become so … poisoned? And poisonous?

There were a few things she now knew: you couldn't trust people, and she certainly couldn't trust her own heart. She never wanted to fall in love again. Love was too dangerous.

oooooooooooo

Liesl was interrupted from her reverie by a gentle knock at the door. She groaned inwardly, not wanting to have her time interrupted, and not wanting to look after the younger children again. She didn't want to do anything but continue to close her heart so that she was sure she would never love again.

But as Liesl opened the door, there stood Maria, alone, and with such a look of love and compassion on her face that it was all Liesl could do to swallow a sob and fling herself into her new mother's arms.

The two stood in the doorway for several long moments while Liesl buried her face in Maria's shoulder and Maria stroked her hair, trying to comfort her. Finally Maria took her arms down, took Liesl by the hand, and walked her to her bed.

Liesl didn't resist and sat down as Maria did. Then Maria wrapped her arms around Liesl again, rocking with her ever so slightly.

"Oh, my darling girl," Maria murmured as she rested her cheek on Liesl's head. "My brave, darling girl. It won't always be like this."

Being held by the new mother she so adored, and in the face of such unconditional love, Liesl finally started to cry. For several minutes all she could do was cry. Eventually Liesl began to speak through sobs and hiccups.

"He didn't just not love me anymore, he could have killed us all. He was hunting us down! There was … there was so much hatred in him!"

Maria didn't say anything, she just waited for Liesl to keep speaking.

"I can't believe I ever cared for him, or that I ever thought he loved me. I am never going to be so naïve again. Never!"

"And the world isn't just beginning. There's something very, very wrong with it."

Then she took Maria by the shoulders and looked straight into her new mother's eyes. "But you needn't worry about me, mother," Liesl reassured her. "I am never going to fall in love again! Never! It's too awful," she concluded, shaking her head and finally looking down at the bed again."

Maria wrapped her arms around Liesl again, pulling her into a tight hug again. Liesl resisted at first, but finally gave in to her mother's hug.

As Maria felt Liesl relax, she knew it was time to talk to her again. "Oh, no darling," she began. "You mustn't close your heart. It's too big to close and you have too much love to give. I'm sorry I've left you alone for so long, but my dearest girl, you must find a way to forgive yourself because there's nothing to forgive yourself for!"

Maria hoped her words were sinking in to Liesl's mind and heart. She tenderly stroked Liesl's hair back and thoughtfully said "You and I are so alike."

Liesl didn't see how it was possible for her to be similar to her beloved new mother, but the thought of it and the continued love and forgiveness brought the tears back to her eyes. She looked down at her hands, now folded in her lap, and watched her tears fall on them. Liesl wondered if she would ever be able to stop crying.

"No," Liesl said, shaking her head adamantly. "No. I'm a fool. You brought this family back together. You brought happiness, and music, and … and love!" "I," Liesl shook her head again, "I almost destroyed this family! And why? Over a boy! A boy who I was naïve enough to think loved me."

Maria drew Liesl close to her again. This conversation was not going as easily as she had hoped it would, and she realized that Liesl's self recrimination was much deeper than she had thought it was. As she hugged her eldest daughter again, she prayed for the right words.

"Yes, a boy," Maria eventually agreed. "A boy who could have destroyed this family." Here she paused, letting Liesl know that she wasn't ignoring her pain.

"But he didn't," Maria finally continued. "And why not? I don't know. Maybe it's because God has been caring for this family. Maybe it's because Ralph did still care about you. He could have blown that whistle before we had the chance to get to the car, he could have shot your father. But he didn't. Maybe you weren't so naïve to have cared about him."

This hadn't occurred to Liesl. She had been so consumed with what could have happened that she hadn't stopped to think about what had actually happened.

Maria kept talking, now holding Liesl by the shoulders and looking into her eyes. "What I know is this: there is evil in the world. I don't know why or how, but I know that the only thing that can truly conquer evil is love. Love of God, love of each other, even love of yourself – it's all holy. Spiritual love, familial love, romantic love - it's all blessed. Love is of God, and we need all the love we can muster if we are going to weather this nightmare."

Liesl looked down at her hands again. She did love her family. She did love God. She just didn't trust herself to love a man again, and she certainly didn't love herself at that moment.

"You and I are so alike," Maria continued, going back to her earlier point, "because we can love so thoroughly – so completely. Once someone told me that it was up to me to find out how God wanted me to spend my love, and that was one of the most important lessons I ever learned."

Liesl looked up again. "Is that why you came back?" she asked.

"Yes," Maria replied simply. And in that word Liesl could see the courage it had taken for Maria to return to them. It had never occurred to Liesl what it must have cost Maria to come back – how overwhelmed she must have been when she left, and how heartbroken she must have been to return only to hear that father had gotten engaged to someone else. She had always known that Maria was courageous. From the first time she had dressed all of them in something other than their required uniforms she had known that Maria was courageous. But she had never realized just how courageous her new mother was.

"I suppose …" Liesl began tentatively, "I suppose it takes courage to love."

Maria's heart leapt in her chest as she realized she was finally reaching Liesl.

"Oh, darling," she responded, "It takes so much courage." "It was that courage that enabled all of us to get through the Alps. It was that courage that brought me back to you." Here she paused again, praying again for the right words. "And I believe it was that courage that made Ralph give us the time to escape to our car, whether he knows it or not."

"He did, didn't he?" Liesl asked, tearfully.

"Yes, he did," Maria affirmed.

"Now," Maria said, putting both hands on the sides of Liesl's face, wiping her tears away with her fingers, "I'm not telling you to go fall in love with the first boy you meet here. Or even the second or the third. You can take as much time as you need. But in the meantime, please don't close your heart. Remember how much we love you and you love us, and how important that love is. You have a big heart, and I know that God doesn't want you to waste your enormous capacity for love."

Mother and daughter just looked at each other, letting their love for one another fill their hearts. Eventually, though, Liesl looked down again. "But I...," she barely spoke above a whisper "I could have ruined everything. We were supposed to be totally silent, and as soon as I saw Ralph, I … I gasped. **I** gave us away." She was still so ashamed of herself.

Maria knew that there was no point of trying to convince Liesl of anything else, and surprised her by agreeing with her. "Yes, you did," she responded. "But I don't know many people who would have done anything different in the same situation. I don't know that I would have done differently."

"You?" Liesl asked tentatively.

"Yes," Maria affirmed again. "Seeing him was a shock to you. We can never predict how we will behave when we are shocked like that."

She let that sink in for as long as Liesl needed to think about. Eventually Liesl disagreed with her, almost defiantly. "Father wouldn't have," she declared.

"No, he wouldn't have," Maria agreed. "But he is one of the few people I can think of who wouldn't. And remember that he's been in a war. He's been in terrible situations. He is trained not to react. None of the rest of us are, darling, and I think God for that. Your innocence and love are treasures from God. Never doubt that."

Liesl felt confused. For days she had been berating herself for her feelings for Ralph and for betraying her family. Now her beloved new mother was telling her that those feelings were understandable – even a gift from God.

"I'm so confused," she finally admitted to Maria.

"That's alright," Maria said, resting her forehead against Liesl's. "You can be confused right now. Just don't give up on love yet. You don't have to look for it right now, but just don't close your heart, alright?"

"Alright," Liesl agreed with a deep sigh. Maria hugged her close, thanking God for helping her find the right words to at least reach Liesl. She hadn't expected to be able to make everything okay for her, but at least she had pulled her out of her despair and had given her new things to think about.

"Now," Maria asked, "What would you say about taking a special trip into Dorfli – just the two of us?"

"Just you and me?" Liesl asked in amazement. One on one time with either parent was a rarity, and she was often left behind to look after the younger ones.

"Just you and me," Maria reiterated. "There are many things I need to get, and I could use your help. Your father can watch the other children. We need our own time together. And…" Maria took out her list and showed it to Liesl. "I definitely need your help."

For the first time since they had fled from the abbey, Liesl's heart was a little lighter. She didn't have to have all the answers right now, but maybe she hadn't been as bad as she had thought she had been. And maybe love wasn't the destructive force she had been making it out to be.

Liesl reached out and took the list from Maria. She looked down it and raised her eyebrows. "We'd better get started," she said.

Maria stifled a sigh of relief. Liesl was going to be okay. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but she was going to be okay. "Yes," she agreed lightly. "We'd better get started."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Before they left, Maria checked in with Georg again. He was sitting in the room that was going to be his office, looking through the small stack of papers he had from the banks. There was no telephone, no proper desk, no curtains – there was hardly anything.

As his wife entered the room he hurried to his feet. He had already decided that he would not keep her out of the office. She was his partner – she had proven that many times over the last several days – and she would remain his partner. If he needed privacy he would let her know, but in every other instance she had full access to him.

He wrapped her in his arms. She felt so good, so right in his arms. He loved her softness but knew that he couldn't let himself think about that or he'd never let her out of their bedroom, let alone the house.

"How is she?" Georg finally asked.

"She's going to be okay," Maria responded. "I hadn't realized how much pain she was in, but she's going to be okay."

"Thank you," Georg whispered, and he brushed the hair off her forehead, leaving it bare so that he could kiss it.

"They're my children too, Captain," Maria said with a mischievous smile.

"Yes, they are," he agreed more seriously, and appreciatively.

He let her go reluctantly, knowing that she had a lot to do in Dorfli. "I will get a line of credit set up for you at the banks," he promised. "In the meantime, I hope this will do." Georg handed her a wad of cash.

Maria's eyes widened slightly. She still wasn't used to his wealth, and to her it looked like a small fortune. But she knew he wouldn't give her anything they couldn't afford, and she did need to buy a lot in Dorfli. "I'm sure it will be enough," she agreed. "And I'll do my best."

The two embraced again, still reluctant to part after their separation.


	15. Troubles

**A/N: I still don't own any of the characters. Also, I wrote this chapter assuming that Maria is a very devout Catholic who would not use birth control. I hope you enjoy it, and thank you as ever for the kind reviews!**

ooooooooooooo

Georg Von Trapp sat back in his chair and looked out the window towards the mountains. He was supposed to be figuring out the best way to subtly consolidate their finances, as well as figure out how to keep them safely and legally in Switzerland, but his mind kept turning to his family. Something wasn't right. In fact, things were starting to feel all wrong again. Not as wrong as when Maria had gone back to the abbey and he had become engaged to Elsa – but wrong. There wasn't as much singing. There wasn't as much laughter. Everything – everyone – seemed unnaturally subdued.

He ran his hand back through his hair. It had grown slightly greyer than it had been just a month ago, but only slightly.

It was natural to assume that the children would be a little more subdued as they were adjusting to their new home, but something was still wrong. His children were naturally high spirited. This subdued was off. He hadn't gotten them through the Alps to safety for things to go all wrong again.

As he continued to look out the window it occurred to him that the common denominator between the time Maria had gone back to the abbey, and now, was Maria herself. She was still with them, she hadn't left, but she was hardly with them. He himself barely saw her except at meals and at night when she would fall asleep almost immediately from exhaustion.

They had only been in their house for a few days and she had spent that time working non-stop. She was either sewing clothes for the nine of them, sewing drapes and other household necessities, or cooking for all of them. To make matters worse, there was no sewing machine to be found in Dorfli. She had to order one, and it hadn't arrived yet. She was sewing by hand.

Georg realized that he hadn't heard her sing in days. That was so … unnatural for her. His shoulders slumped as he began to realize what was wrong. Maria was spending all of her time working as their cook and seamstress rather than their wife and mother. Anyone could be a cook or seamstress for them. Only one woman could be his wife and the mother of his children.

She was the one who had brought them together as a family again. She had brought back the music, the laughter, and the love. She had shown again and again what an invaluable partner she was to him. And now she spent almost all her time shut away in the room they had set aside as the sewing room. Liesl was certainly helpful, as were the other children from time to time, but the work load was endless.

He thought back over the last few days. Maria had insisted – and he had agreed – that they not bring any strangers into their house. That she alone take care of their needs. But, he realized, neither of them had anticipated what a huge task it was going to be. Nine people needed full wardrobes. A large house needed drapes and linens. Plus, nine people at a lot of food at least three times a day.

Georg felt trapped. They were alone and friendless in a new country, but he needed his wife back. Although they had only been in the house for a few days, he missed her desperately. Her light, her life, her love – they were all being wasted. They could easily afford help, but didn't know who to trust.

'Not friendless.' The words suddenly popped into his head. They were not friendless. They had already made a friend, thanks to Maria's magic, and they could trust that friend.

He swung around in his chair, no longer looking out the window but at his desk. He suddenly had new resolve and energy. He would go see Herr Kramer on this very day and ask for help finding people he could trust. Herr Kramer had lived in this area for over 60 years. He was bound to have a few friends in Dorfli that he could recommend. And he, Georg, could then relieve Maria of her work load and allow her to bring her life and light back to their family.

Georg thought back to that fateful day when they first met, and how relieved he had been when she told him she could make her own clothes. To be honest, though, he hadn't been that relieved because he had scarcely cared about the governesses. But he had been pleased. Little did he know then, he thought with a rueful smile, that she was wasted on needle and thread.

She was industrious and hardworking, but she was so much more. She was full of love and music. A silly smile now played across his face. Georg Von Trapp was a man in love, and he couldn't be happier about that. It was so much easier to care than not care. And he cared about his wife and family with every fiber of his being.

He swept all of his papers together and put them in the drawer of his desk, careful to lock it. That was habit more than anything else. He trusted all of his family, and doubted they would understand those papers even if they did go snooping for some inexplicable reason. He knew he was supposed to be thinking about how to handle their finances and the best way to let the Swiss authorities know that they were there, but with everything right with his family, he'd be so much less distracted. Besides, he had a long walk up into the alm, and how better to clear his head and think than in the mountains?

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria sat over a pile of material, her needle and thread darting in and out of it quickly and neatly. Her chair was to the back of the door of the small sewing room, facing out the one window of the room, but she rarely looked up. There was too much to do. The children needed clothes. Making nine outfits could take – well, longer than she wanted to think about. Thinking would slow her down and probably discourage her. Besides, nine outfits would only leave each person with one new outfit each. And the younger children were growing so quickly – how was she going to keep all of them dressed? How was she even going to produce nine full wardrobes?

'Don't think about it,' she reminded herself. 'Just keep working.'

The sewing machine that she so desperately needed should arrive in a few more days and that would speed everything up considerably. But she still faced a daunting task. So she kept sewing. She could hear and feel the rhythm that her needle was making – in and out, in and out. The rhythm was one of the things that kept her going. It had become like the beat of a song, and music made everything faster and easier.

Maria heard a knock on the door, and heard the door open, but she didn't look up. It wasn't until she felt the familiar hands on her shoulders, felt those large, strong hands begin to massage her aching shoulders, and felt a comforting kiss on the top of her head that she put down her work and leaned back in her chair. It was so good to feel Georg's touch, and he always seemed to know exactly what she needed – as evidenced by the strong shoulder rub he was giving her right then.

Georg looked down at her table, covered with material. It looked warm, sturdy and serviceable, but didn't yet resemble anything that anyone would wear … at least to his untrained eye.

"Who is this for?" he asked his wife.

"Kurt," she responded briefly, and as though reminded of the amount of work ahead of her she picked up the material and began to sew again.

Georg marveled briefly at how she could take big bolts of fabric and turn them into clothes. At least she wasn't using drapes this time, he thought to himself with a small smile. But the thought of drapes reminded him of how much work there was to do, and how much Maria needed a break from it. How much he needed Maria to have a break from it. He was being both selfish and selfless, he thought to himself with another smile.

He kissed the back of her neck, causing her to lean back again. He hadn't ever imagined being with a woman with such short hair, but had learned that there were certain advantages to its length. Besides, Maria was already the most beautiful woman in the world, in his opinion, and he wouldn't change anything about how she looked.

Even in this small room with her attention on something other than him, he didn't want to leave her, but he knew he had to. Fortunately it would only be for a few hours. It didn't matter that much anyway because wherever he was she would be holed up in this small room, sewing as fast and as well as she could.

He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulders so that he could whisper in her ear, and smell her as well. Georg loved the smell of her. While he was leaning forward he told her what he had come to say.

"I need to leave the house on business for a few hours." He didn't want to tell her where he was going, or why, in case she would protest. Georg wanted everything settled and safe before he proposed the changes to Maria in case she would have any argument against them.

"I've spoken with Liesl. She will look after the younger children," he continued. "I'll be back before dinner, but I won't be with you for lunch."

Hearing that he would be leaving, Maria leaned back once more, into his embrace. As busy as she was, she loved feeling his arms wrapped around her. "I'll fill you in on everything when I am back," he promised. They had agreed to share all plans - she had become such a valuable partner to him that he didn't want to keep anything from her – except for now. But, he reassured himself, he would tell her what he had been up to as soon as everything was arranged.

Maria looked up at him, standing behind her. "Alright, I'll see you then," she said with a wistful tone of regret.

While she was looking up at him he bent forward and kissed her soundly on her mouth. It was an awkward position. He wanted to pull her up out of that chair, away from Kurt's outfit, and take her outside to enjoy this beautiful day. But he knew she would never agree to that, she was far too busy and industrious he thought to himself with a mixture of both pride and regret.

Georg walked out of the sewing room more determined than ever to resolve this untenable situation.

oooooooooooo

As the Captain left the room Maria folded her hands and bent over them in prayer. 'Please help me,' she asked silently.

She wished she had someone she could talk to – someone who wasn't her husband or one of her children. She specifically wished she could talk with the Revered Mother, but that was impossible. Something was weighing on her mind, something far greater than the endless sewing or cooking she had to do.

Maria may have been young, but she was not naïve. She had grown up on a farm, and she knew where babies come from. She knew that it was likely that she herself would have a baby eventually.

She wanted a baby dearly, it was a hope that she cherished in her heart like a precious jewel. She hadn't talked about it with Georg – things had been much too busy since they had returned from their honeymoon. And she knew that children were a gift from God and that it would be wrong to do anything that might prevent or interfere with such a gift. And yet … and yet …

The truth was that Maria simply didn't know how she would manage another child, particularly a baby who needed so much time and attention. As it was, she barely had time for the children she already did have. Having any kind of one on one time with them was so rare, and yet so needed by each of them. And now that they had moved to Switzerland, she was so busy trying to get them established and comfortable in their new home, she had even less time for them. How would she manage to do all of this work, or be with her children as much as they deserved, if she was pregnant or had a new baby to care for?

As much as she longed for a baby … as much as she longed for Georg's baby … she simply didn't know how she would manage it. The possibility was a burden that was weighing more and more on her mind, and she was bearing it alone. Again, she thought the words 'please help me.'

She was silent for several moments, not sure if she was specifically waiting for an answer or simply communing silently with God. Then, like a light turning on in her mind, she remembered the mission she had learned during her time as a postulate at the abbey: to find out what is the will of God and to do it whole heartedly.

It had been the will of God that she be a governess, and then mother, to seven children. She could never have imagined a more perfect or blessed life than she was living as their mother. It had been the will of God for her to love and be the wife of Georg Von Trapp, and that had brought her a joy and a maturity that she had never known before. It had been the will of God that they leave Austria and come to Switzerland and she was sure this life would reveal blessings they could never have dreamed of. God had been with her every step of the way, and she knew that He wasn't going to leave her now.

Maria also remembered how startled she was to hear that there were seven children in the Von Trapp family. Seven had seemed like so many – too many. Yet even though she sometimes felt stretched as their mother, she couldn't imagine life without a single one of her beloved children. And together those children formed their own family unit of brother and sisterhood that she loved to observe. The children were so much more than her responsibility, they were the loves of her life, they were the children of her husband, they were siblings who were completely devoted to each other even when they quarreled. God had not erred in creating this family. When it came time to expand this family, she was certain God would not err in that either.

Maria remembered how much she trusted God and knew that he would not give her – or them – anything less than a blessing. If and when she was to become pregnant, it would be the will of God, it would bless the entire family, and she would embrace it whole heartedly.

Grateful for the lessons she learned at the abbey, she whispered a soft "thank you, Mother" to the Reverend Mother. After a few more moments of prayer, she picked up Kurt's shirt and began sewing it again.

oooooooooooooooo

As Georg began the walk up into the mountains he had no idea what was weighing on his wife's mind. If he had, he would have been all the more convinced of his mission. But now that he was sure of and on this mission, his mind turned to other troubles.

He was acutely aware of the fact that he had 30 days since they had entered the country to register his presence with Swiss officials. If he failed to do so and was found, he and his family could be considered illegal immigrants, and the odds were that, as Austrians, they would be handed over to German officials. Everything they had fought for this last week would be lost.

They were not a small family, they could not easily hide. It was far better, he decided, to obey the law and register with Swiss officials.

But how? As Herr Trapp, a humble working man? As Baron and Captain Von Trapp, an aristocratic and former military man? He had no desire to call attention to himself as a sea captain, or as a decorated war hero. Yet if he were to be dishonest and was found out anyway, how would be explain why he had lied?

Georg was a man of integrity and of courage. If he had been less of a man he may well have gone along with the Anschluss and kept his head down, doing what he was commanded to do. He was not less of a man. He had already put his family through quite an ordeal because he could not compromise himself. He would not compromise himself now and thus potential threaten their future. No, he would have to go to the Swiss authorities, register himself as Baron and Captain Von Trapp, and officially ask for political asylum. Though once a war hero he was now a conscientious objector. Now that he was in a politically neutral country he could not be forced to fight and probably die for a cause he disagreed with.

The more he thought about this, the more convinced he became that it was the right plan. Honesty was always best. He couldn't remember when he had last consciously or intentionally lied. Granted, he hadn't been honest with himself or with Elsa, but that had been unintentional. He still berated himself for his behavior towards her. He knew he had hurt her, and he still carried the guilt of that. Yet there was no other way his life could have unfolded but with Maria by his side.

Honesty, yes. And political asylum. This way he would retain his title. The value of holding on to the title and the aristocracy wasn't so much a matter of pride, but it meant there would be less to hide. His wealth would make sense. He and his family could live in Dorfli as the Von Trapps rather than the Trapps, and they would be legal and wealthy immigrants.

Georg also knew that all of the bank statements proving his wealth would help. There was no fear that he would be a burden to the Swiss economy. His money would help the economy more than anything else. Once again, best to be honest about his wealth and his title – it would only help his cause.

He was so relieved to have answered this question for himself that his feet actually felt lighter on the path he climbed. He couldn't wait to tell Maria. Before he knew it he was approaching the valley where Herr Kramer lived.

oooooooooooo

Herr Kramer was working in his barn, settling back into his accustomed solitude. Although the solitude was a relief, he missed the laughter, the music, and he missed Maria. He had almost felt like he was gaining a daughter when they had stayed with him. He often wondered how she was settling into her new home in Dorfli and how all of the children were doing. 'They must be happy to have actual beds,' he thought to himself. And as much as he missed Maria he was glad for her to be reunited with her husband. It had been obvious to him how much she had missed Georg Von Trapp. She must be happy and he was happy for her.

He was lost in these musings as he worked, cleaning out the four goat stalls. The last thing he expected was a polite knock on the wall next to the open door.

Herr Kramer so rarely got visitors that he assumed it must be one or more of the Von Trapps. He turned around and was not surprised to see the husband and father of that family. Herr Kramer was surprised to realize how glad he was to see this man. He put his shovel down and approached Georg who had his hand outstretched in greeting.

There wasn't much for these two men to say as both of them preferred to come to the point quickly. They had already recognized that quality in each other.

"I didn't expect to see you back here so soon," began Herr Kramer, "although I can't say you're an unwelcome sight. Your family is all well?"

"Yes, we are all well," Georg replied, "but I – we – need your help." "Again," he added with a rueful smile.

"What do you need?" Herr Kramer asked simply.

Georg took a deep sigh. He knew of this man's fatherly affection for Maria and almost didn't want to tell him how much work she was mired in, but that was why he had come. "It's Maria," he began. "She's fine," he added quickly, seeing the concern in the other man's eyes, "but she's over worked, and I need to find help in Dorfli. I need to find help I can trust. I didn't know where else to go."

"I see," responded Herr Kramer. "How is she over worked and what sort of help do you need?" he asked, once again, to the point.

"We don't want the whole of Dorfli to know that we arrived without clothes and each need a complete wardrobe, so she's try to sew one for nine different people," Georg explained. "And we didn't know who to let into our home, so on top of that she's cooking for all of us as well. She needs a break, and we need her back."

Herr Kramer could see the dilemma, and also could see what an impossible situation it was for Maria. He thought for a minute or so, and then gestured for Georg to follow him into his house. Once in the house Tobias pulled out some of the paper and then pen that Pietr had brought, and began writing a few letters. At one point he glanced up and saw a mild look of surprise on Georg's face. He raised his eyebrows. "You thought I didn't know how to write?" he asked with some amusement.

"I … hadn't thought about it … one way or another," Georg stammered awkwardly. He so often felt out of his element with this man, and yet liked him so much. It occurred to him that if they had not fled Austria the way they had he would never have had the opportunity to know Tobias Kramer, and he would never have been aware of the loss.

"How would you know?" Tobias asked rhetorically, still amused, and Georg relaxed again. Tobias went back to writing his letter.

Eventually, Tobias had written three letters. Georg hadn't been sure what he expected, but it hadn't been letters.

"These two," Tobias said handing to the top two over to Georg, "are Pietr's older sisters. I believe they know how to sew well, and will be glad of the work." He pulled out the third letter and but held on to it. "This one, he explained, is for the Grandmother's granddaughter." He saw the look of confusion on Georg's face. "Right," he amended, "you weren't here long enough to hear of or meet the Grandmother."

Tobias signed and began to explain. "She lives across the alm with her son and her granddaughter. Her son is a farmer, like me, but with two more mouths to feed there's never quite enough. The granddaughter, Anna, will be a good cook for you, and the money will be a relief for them." "It will be good if she can live in your house so she doesn't have to make this walk twice a day," he added.

Georg nodded in understanding. This was exactly what he had been hoping for, and apparently the work would benefit these women as well. 'More open windows?' he thought to himself with a small smile.

"I trust all of them," Tobias added.

"That's good enough for me," Georg responded.

The two men looked at each other in mutual understanding, almost smiling, but not quite.

"These letters," continued Tobias, "tell them who you are, what you need, and to use discretion." "Take those two," he said, gesturing to the two he had given Georg, "to the address on them. I'll deliver this one to the grandmother's house. It will be easier that way, she just lives across the alm. Anna will be at your house tomorrow morning ready to make you breakfast."

Georg sighed with relief. This was more than he had expected. "And Georg," Tobias added, "treat them well."

"I will," Georg promised. "And I will pay them fairly as well." He realized there was no pointed in staying any longer and he was eager to get back home. "Thank you, my friend," he concluded.

"Georg," Tobias called, startling him. "Give my greetings to your family."

Georg looked over his shoulder with a small smile and an understanding nod. The two men waved in farewell.

Georg had what he needed and Tobias was glad to be able to do a good turn for some friends by getting them steady employment. They parted satisfied and glad to have seen each other.

oooooooooooooo

When Georg got home he found and Liesl and Maria in the kitchen making dinner. It smelled good, but he was glad she was going to have help from now on. He greeted his daughter and then wrapped his arms around his wife, careful not to disturb her too much as she stood in front of the hot stove.

"When you're free," he told her, "I need to talk to you."

Maria thought of all the things she hadn't said and now wanted to say to Georg. "What a good idea," she responded wearily, but with satisfaction.


	16. Our Favorite Things

**A/N: I still don't own any of the characters. **

**Thank you all for reading, and for those who have left reviews, thank you many times over. The reviews make such a difference. **

**The last chapter was a little more heavy and troublesome (obviously), so I wanted to write a lighter chapter now. I hope you enjoy it!**

ooooooooooooo

The sunlight was streaming into the master bedroom, and the house was full of the smell of bacon frying, but Maria wasn't aware of any of this. She was still asleep although it was well past the usual time she would be out of bed.

Maybe bacon and breakfast were figuring into her dreams, maybe she was dreaming of mountains and music, maybe the farm where she was raised. She could be dreaming about anything but there would be no way to know.

Georg was glad she was still asleep. He was aware of how exhausted she had become over the last few days, working full time (and more!) as cook, housekeeper and seamstress. Still, he did need to wake her up before too long, and he also knew she would be upset at the thought of sleeping too late.

He and the children had eaten their breakfast already, and they were staying uncharacteristically quiet. The older ones were aware that she needed to sleep, the younger ones felt like they were planning a jolly surprise for her by staying quiet.

Down in the kitchen, Anna was preparing a plate of food for Maria. This was her first day at the new Von Trapp house and the two women hadn't even met yet. So far, Georg was totally and thoroughly satisfied with her work. Breakfast had been satisfying and delicious and she told him she would go to the market for the food necessary for lunch and dinner, once she had discussed the menu with Maria.

Anna was a similar age to Liesl, which Georg was also glad of. His children would need friends in their new home. Once, he would have objected at his daughter being friends with a servant. Things had changed. Their closest friend these days was a subsistence farmer who lived in the mountains and to whom they owed a great debt. Georg had been surprised to realize that he liked this man as much or more than he liked any of the wealthy friends he had left behind in Austria. Besides, he thought to himself with a small smile, it would be quite hypocritical for him to object to any of his children being friends with a servant, considering that he had married the governess!

So Georg sincerely hoped that Anna would prove to be a good friend to Liesl. He was surprised, though, to see how shy Liesl was around this other young woman. His Liesl who was naturally so vivacious, who used to sneak out of the house to visit the telegram boy, who had hoped to stay at a party and drink champagne and had the guts to ask for it in front of all the guests. His Liesl, his vivacious oldest daughter, was suddenly shy. She had helped Anna get breakfast together, and would probably help clean up after breakfast, but she and Anna were barely even making the most tentative small talk, each as shy as the other.

Georg knew that she had been deeply shaken by the events that had occurred right before they left Austria, but he hadn't realized how shaken until he saw her be so shy with this new girl. Once again, he was incredibly grateful that he didn't have to help his children through their ordeals by himself, and that Maria was by his side, or would be back by his side now that he had gotten her some help.

Anna finished arranging a plate with some toast, bacon, eggs and fruit and handed it to the Captain. He put his finger to his lips in a gesture of silence, reminding the younger children to stay quiet. With the plate and a cup of coffee balanced in both hands, he climbed the stairs up to the bedroom he shared with Maria.

oooooooooooooooo

Maria was still asleep, but there was still no way of telling what she was dreaming about because as soon as she felt the kisses on her eyes and on her face, she began to wake up and all dreams fled from her mind. At first she snuggled into bed, enjoying this rain of kisses. Then she realized that the sun was streaming into her room and that it must be quite late in the morning already. She immediately woke up the rest of the way and sat upright, looking at Georg. How could he have let her sleep so long?! There was so much to do! She tried to climb out of bed but was restrained by her husband, who kept kissing her. These weren't the passionate kisses that usually led to something more, but sweet, loving, undemanding kisses. They were also not stopping, and as much as she enjoyed kissing her husband she was trying to speak.

Finally she was able to push him away long enough to say "Breakfast! I need to get up!"

He looked at her in amusement and started kissing her neck, very gently. She found herself melting a little into his arms. Between kisses he said "Anna is here. Remember? She made breakfast. We've all eaten, the children are all dressed. All you need to do is eat your own breakfast."

At that point he stopped kissing her and reached down to the ground to produce the plate of food and cup of coffee. "Breakfast in bed, Baroness," he announced. "And no one deserves it more than you."

Maria was stunned. No one had ever brought her breakfast in bed before. She looked at her husband slightly suspiciously, but then began to eat. The food was good, and she was hungry. Before she realized it she was enjoying her meal with gusto.

"You musn't make a habit of this," she said gratefully but regretfully, "or I'll want breakfast in bed all of the time." "But this was dear of you," she added with a smile.

After a few more moments of enjoying her eggs she asked "Where are the children?"

"They are downstairs, why do you ask?" Georg said in slight confusion.

"Well, the house is so quiet I was sure they were out," she explained.

"Ah!" he couldn't help but gloat a bit. "Well, they were in on this little surprise for you and didn't want to wake you too soon."

"You got the children to stay quiet this long?" Maria asked, slightly skeptically.

"Yes," Georg acknowledged with satisfaction. "Although I don't think they would have stayed this quiet if they hadn't wanted to surprise you," he added with a touch of chagrin. "I doubt they would have stayed quiet just for me. They must be bursting at the seams right now."

"Mmmm," Maria acknowledged, moving on to her toast. "Speaking of seams, I do need to start sewing soon."

"No, you don't," Georg admonished her. "The only things you need to do today are to meet with Johanna and Karolina to get them started on the sewing, tell Anna what to make for lunch and dinner, and play with the children." "Oh," he continued as he began kissing her neck and collar bone even more passionately, "and I might find a thing or two for you to do here … with me …"

Whatever else he would have said trailed off as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her fully on the mouth. The plate and the coffee were quickly forgotten about as she returned his kiss in full.

Maria melted into his arms and she found herself wishing that she could stay there all morning. She had been so consumed with work over the last several days that she had barely had any time with her husband.

However, a steadily increasing sound of talking and chatter was rising from the lower floor. "I think I had better get dressed and join the children" she said as she reluctantly she broke away from him. "Thank you for breakfast in bed, Captain," she said and reached up a hand to smooth his hair back from his face. "It's a luxury I've never experienced before."

His hair had turned slightly grey at the front, which for some reason made her heart melt even more. She leaned forward and kissed him once more - a kiss full of promise – before she got out of bed to get dressed.

Georg lay back on the bed and watched her dress. He was a happy man. How could he not be, having a wife like this? He loved the way she looked at him, and was amused that she still called him Captain from time to time. It had turned from a title to a term of endearment, and sometimes (he suspected) a little joke on her part.

oooooooooooooooooo

A few hours later Johanna and Karolina were upstairs sewing clothes. Maria had given them sketches of the outfits she wanted, and all the necessary measurements. She was very satisfied with their work and happy to be able to leave the sewing room. They were both lovely girls in their young twenties and she was glad to have them in her new home.

Both Johanna and Karolina were obviously bursting with curiosity about their employer's situation – why they were in Dorfli, why they had no clothes yet apparently had plenty of money. However they had the good taste not to ask. Or perhaps Tobias had instructed them not to ask, Maria mused to herself.

She was also delighted with Anna. Maria too saw the possibility of a friend for Liesl in this young woman, however she was also aware of how shy Liesl had become.

Liesl didn't seem to trust herself anymore to choose friends, or at least she still didn't trust her heart. Maria knew though that she would find her confidence again, eventually. In the meantime she decided to do all she could to encourage this potential new friendship. After she and Anna had discussed the menu for the day Maria had then suggested that Liesl accompany Anna to get the necessary food. It would allow them to spend a little more time together, and get Liesl more familiar with Dorfli.

Georg had gathered all necessary papers: proof of their Austrian citizenship, bank statements, birth records, the bill of sale for their new house, and their marriage certificate, and he had gone off to see the nearest immigration officials. Maria was once again incredibly grateful that she had such a knowledgeable and capable husband to run these family affairs. She agreed with him whole heartedly that he should be completely honest and ask for political asylum. Now that they were employing three Swiss women, it made their case even stronger. He had also brought receipts, proving how much money they had already spent and how much money they would likely bring to the Dorfli economy. She couldn't help but be slightly anxious, but knew that if anyone could make everything work out alright, it was Georg.

Maria had also taken a brief trip into Dorfli to order another bed and bedding linens. On the days that Anna stayed in their house, she would sleep downstairs near the kitchen, and she would be comfortable. They knew she wouldn't always sleep in the house, that there would be times she would return to visit her family in the mountains, but she now had the option of staying down in the village whenever it was necessary.

Everything was falling into place and it felt wonderful. Life was much less of a burden than it had been yesterday.

She walked outside to watch her children playing. The air was as crisp and clean as it had been at the villa, and the mountains just as beautiful. She wrapped her arms around herself, closed her eyes and silently thanked God for all that they had received.

oooooooooooo

Maria was jolted out of her happy reverie by a very anxious Gretl who had run up to her and was pulling on her skirts.

Before she could ask her youngest daughter what she wanted, Gretl began to speak, slightly agitated. "Mother," she demanded, "Brigitta said that Pietr is a goatherd! Is that true?"

"Yes it is, Gretl," Maria explained. "Almost every day he takes all the goats in the village up into the mountains to graze – to eat grass and flowers and everything else that tastes good to them – and then he brings them back in the evening."

Gretl still seemed agitated. "Is he lonely?" she asked.

Maria suddenly understood this line of questioning and knelt down to be more at Gretl's level. "I don't think so," she reassured her daughter. "He's a friendly boy, he's already friends with us. I would say more that he's a friendly goatherd." "Although," she continued, "he may be a bit lonely during the day when he only has the goats for company."

Gretl seemed concerned again. "Why don't we ask him when we see him?" Maria suggested. "We can ask him what he does all day when he's with the goats." "Maybe we can even join him up in the mountains one of these days for a picnic," Maria continued. "We could visit Herr Kramer as well!"

Gretl puffed out her chest in that way she did when she was pleased. "I think we should sing the puppet show to him," she announced.

"What a wonderful idea, Gretl!" Maria agreed. In her mind, friendship and music were always a good idea.

"When is the puppet show going to get here?" Gretl asked.

Maria's heart sank as she realized how little Gretl understood about their new situation. "Oh darling," she explained gently, "it's not."

Gretl furrowed her eyebrows. "But Uncle Max said we could keep it!" she said in confusion.

"Well, yes darling," Maria tried to explain. "We could keep it when we were in Austria. But we're in Switzerland now and we had to leave behind anything we couldn't carry, including the puppet show. And everything we left behind has to stay in Austria because we can't let anyone know where we are."

Gretl's eyes filled with tears and her chin began to wobble. "Everything?" she asked in a breaking voice.

"Everything," Maria affirmed.

"But the puppet show, and my dolls! Why can't we get them?" Gretl asked tearfully.

"You see, darling," Maria began, "those bad men – the men with the black spider – wanted your father to leave home and go fight for them. We wouldn't see him for a long time, and maybe never again. He didn't want to go fight and we didn't want him to go. You'd miss your father so much, wouldn't you?"

Gretl nodded in tearful confusion. She would miss her father very much. "But why couldn't he just say no?" she asked.

"Well," Maria explained, as gently as she could, "those men were pretty bad. He tried to say no. He wanted to say no, but they wouldn't let him. They were going to take him away from us. So we left, and you remember, we had to leave in secret. We left behind a lot of things that we loved, but we still have each other and we're still together, and I think that's the most important thing."

There was nothing else to say for the moment as Gretl continued to cry and Maria gathered her up into her arms. She knew that each of the children were probably still scared and confused in his or her own way, and she'd need to have various types of this conversation with most, if not all of them. As badly as she felt for Gretl, Maria was happy that she was having a good cry. Eventually she would stop and this conversation would help her move on and adjust to their new life.

After several minutes of Gretl crying onto her shoulder, Maria started to speak again. "You know what makes me happy?" Maria asked her. Gretl took a deep, shuddering breath and shook her head. "It makes me happy that we're all together, and that I get to be here as your mother."

Gretl nodded. Having Maria as her mother had become one of her favorite things. "The mountains are so beautiful, that makes me happy," Maria continued. "I'm happy that there's Edelweiss here. I'm happy we've met Anna, and Johanna, and Karolina, and Pietr and Herr Kramer."

"What has made you happy here?" she eventually asked.

Gretl sniffed and thought about it. "The goats," she finally said.

"Good!" agreed Maria. "And one of them is even named after you. What else?"

Gretl hesitated and then said "I like our new friends too."

"Oh, so do I," Maria agreed. "We would never have met them if we hadn't come to Switzerland." "And there's something else," she continued, dropping her voice almost as though she were telling Gretl a secret. "All of our favorite things – the ones we sing about – are here as well."

Gretl looked at her mother with wide eyes. She hadn't thought of that. "All of them?" she whispered back.

"Every single one of them," Maria answered. She got out her handkerchief and began to wipe up Gretl's face. "I think we should sing that song. What do you think?"

Gretl nodded in agreement.

Maria sat down on the ground, pulled Gretl into her lap and wrapped her arms around the small girl. She hummed a note and together the two of them began to sing.

The song attracted the rest of the children who, as they heard it, came and joined in. Eventually Maria got back to her feet and put Gretl down. Louisa had thrown a handful of leaves at Kurt who retaliated by chasing her around and around the others. Soon all eight of them were singing and spinning each other around the way they had on that stormy night just a few months earlier:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that melt into spring

These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad!

They sang it over and over again, dancing and laughing until they all began to collapse on the ground in happy exhaustion. It took a little while for the giddy giggles to subside. Maria was happy to hear her children laughing all together. Music and laughter were some of the most healing things she knew.

Finally Maria called them to attention. Still laughing, they started to sit up, pulling leaves, grass and twigs out of each other's hair.

Maria knew how much Gretl liked to talk, and how much she wanted to know – or at least act like she knew -- everything, in an attempt to keep up with her elder brothers and sisters. Although she knew it would bring down the mood, Maria wanted to make sure that the conversation she had with Gretl would be accurately represented.

She waited while they continued to get the giggles out of their system. Friedrich pushed Louisa back over, and before she toppled over she grabbed Brigitta who went down with her. Soon some of the children were rolling around on the ground again, gently wrestling with each other. She waited patiently and indulgently for them to get all of that energy out of their systems. This was exactly what she had wanted for the children when she had first met them in their uniforms back when they were supposed to march rather than play.

Once she had their attention again and was confident that they had gotten their energy and laughter out of their systems, she began to speak. "Now, children," she began, hoping her tone was light but serious, "Gretl and I had just been having a conversation. This isn't easy to say, and it's sad for all of us, but I wanted to make sure that you know that everything we had to leave behind in Austria needs to stay behind in Austria. It's not safe for us or for your father to let anyone in Austria know where we are. That means that no one in Austria can send anything to us." She let that sink in, and though the children looked considerably more sober she was relieved to see that none of them looked surprised, including Marta. Some of them were even nodding their understanding.

"But," Maria continued in a lighter tone, "we are all here, together, we have each other, and that means more to me than anything we left behind in Austria." She reached out a hand and caressed Marta's face as Marta was sitting right next to her. "I also know that we are going to build a beautiful life for ourselves here in Switzerland. And you father and I want you to know that we love you very much, and if you're feeling sad or confused, that's okay, and we want you to come talk to us about it."

Maria looked around at the seven faces she had grown to love so much and wished she could hug her all her children all at once. Instead, she just sat with them, radiating all the love that she could. After a few moments she spoke again. "Gretl and I made a wonderful discovery about Switzerland and our favorite things. Gretl, would you like to tell them?"

Gretl sat up proudly. It wasn't often that she was in the position of telling her siblings something. "All of our favorite things," she began, "all of the things we sing about, they are all here in Switzerland as well!"

Maria saw a few smiles cross the faces of her older children as they realized the truth of that statement, and as they realized how happy it had made Gretl.

Marta, meanwhile, was in awe. "All of them?" she asked.

"Oh yes," reassured Maria. "All of them. Would you like to sing the song once more to be sure?"

Marta nodded, her eyes as wide as Maria had ever seen them.

"Hold on, don't go away," said Maria and she hurried to her feet and into the house.

A few minutes later she reemerged, carrying the guitar. She played a few opening chords and soon they were all singing once again. This time they didn't run or dance around, all eight of them continued to sit together, singing, harmonizing, and thinking of each of their favorite things and how each one was indeed in Switzerland as well as Austria.

As they finished the song, each one smiling a little, Marta leaned closer to Maria and said "Mother?" in a tentative yet questioning voice.

"Yes, Marta?" Maria said encouragingly.

"Can we get some kittens – with whiskers?" Marta asked.

"Oh, yes Mother, please?" chimed in Louisa, and pretty soon all of the children were imploring Maria to get some kittens.

"Children, children!" Maria finally cut through the noise to quiet them down. "I think we're going to need to ask your father about that."

There were a few groans from children who didn't want to wait, but Kurt said confidently "You can convince him, I know you can."

"I will do my best," Maria assured him, "but he will make the final decision." She knew it was probably a done deal – Georg wanted to do all he could to help his family settle into their new home happily – but she also knew that she would have to discuss it with him first. And it was important that the children recognize that he was still the head of the family. Although they all had such deep respect for him that she doubted they would or could ever forget that.

Maria could tell that it was already getting late in the day, that Anna had probably started dinner preparations, but she was concerned that Georg wasn't back yet. So she kept talking to distract them all, as well as herself.

"Do you know what else they have here in Switzerland?" she asked.

"What, Mother?" Liesl asked helpfully.

"Edelweiss," Maria said more happily again. "As a matter of fact, I think that one of these days we should go on a picnic and look for Edelweiss."

That suggestion was met with vocal agreement by all the children. It was Marta, though, who suggested "let's sing that song too."

"Wonderful idea," Maria agreed and once again picked up the guitar and began to play the opening chords.

oooooooooooooo

Georg came home as it was approaching dinner time, weary but satisfied. He was immediately aware of his family singing his favorite song. They did sing so beautifully together, and Maria's voice soared above them all. He smiled. This was right. He walked closer to a window where he could see and hear them better.

As they finished the final words "bless my homeland forever," he couldn't help but feel slightly choked up, as he had felt about a week ago at the festival. He walked outside to greet them when they had finished his song and immediately the children got to their feet and hurried to meet him. 'This is right, too' he thought to himself. He greeted each of his children but was careful to give Maria a long and pointed look, finished with a nod.

Maria just smiled back in pride and relief. Obviously, something had gone well today. But even more than that, her heart still melted when she watched the once stern and distant Captain being so warm and loving to their children.

ooooooooooooo

Anna, Johanna and Karolina all ate dinner in the kitchen while the Von Trapps sat down to dinner at their new dining room table. Maria was a little uncomfortable separating their helpers in such a way – she herself was not unlike them in background or in the fact that she had once been a servant. But Georg had different views on these things than she did, and she also felt it was very important for the whole family to be together for meals. They were such a big family, it was necessary to consciously bring the family together as often as possible or else she was afraid it might scatter, or that the bond they each had with another might weaken.

Anna, Johanna and Karolina were actually much happier to eat together in the kitchen. The house itself -- probably the largest in Dorfli – was overwhelming to them, and the family, though sweet, was still a little intimidating to them as well. They had realized that they were working for Austrian aristocracy – a Baron and Baroness no less – and they were still happy to keep their wide-eyed distance. The Baroness herself was much easier and friendlier than they had thought she would be, but she was still a Baroness and their employer. They were far happier eating together in the warm kitchen discussing their new jobs. Each might have wanted to speculate as to what had brought this wealthy, aristocratic family to Switzerland so suddenly and with apparently no possessions besides what they had worn, but Herr Kramer had been so strict in his letters about respecting the family's privacy that none wanted to be the first to breach that rule.

Meanwhile, in the dining room, Gretl asked the question that had crossed everyone's mind to varying degrees over the past week: "Father, how long are we going to stay here?"

Georg sighed inwardly. He wished he knew. "Well, Gretl," he began, thinking carefully as he spoke, "I think we will live here long enough for you to make lots of friends and be very happy. I hope that we can go back to Austria some day, but that day may be a long time from now."

"Are we going to go anywhere else soon?" she persisted.

"No," he felt confident giving that answer after the day he had just had. "We are not going to go anywhere else anytime soon."

"That's good," she informed him. "Because all of our favorite things are here as well. **All** of them," she stressed.

"All of them?" Georg asked in feigned astonishment. "Why, I suppose you're right. I see them all right here!"

Gretl's look spoke volumes, letting him know that she didn't think he was making sense.

"Oh, yes. I see them all right here," Georg reiterated. "And they're names are Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Kurt, Brigitta, Marta, Gretl and Maria."

"No, father!" she said, dismissing him like a silly child. "I mean **our favorite things**! Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles--"

Georg shot Maria a look of helplessness and slight alarm.

"Children," she said in her commanding voice, taking charge of the situation, "as much as we love hearing you sing, I'm afraid we're going to have to have a rule of no singing at meal times."

She looked around at some blank faces and Gretl's surprised face. Maria then saw the three oldest children trying to smother their smiles and she shared a quick look of amusement with them."

"I think we should keep meal times for talking," she explained. "But there's no reason why we can't sing together after dinner. As a matter of fact," she concluded, "I think we should start working on some new songs!"

And with that, meal times were settled to everyone's happiness.

ooooooooooooooooooo

Later that night the children were all in bed, Johanna and Karolina had gone home and Anna had gotten into her new bed ready to make breakfast the next morning.

Maria emerged from the bathroom, finally ready for sleep herself, and climbed into bed next to her husband. She had already made each of them a simple dress or outfit to sleep in, but they were very simple. Georg ran his fingers along the neckline of her shapeless sheath and said "I think we'll have to send away for something a little more elegant," and with that he kissed her collarbone. "A little more revealing," – another kiss – "a little more like the night clothes we got for you in Paris."

As accustomed as she had become to sharing her bed – and more – with Georg, Maria couldn't help but blush. Georg snickered slightly to himself at her embarrassment and kissed her once again. He was lying on his back, and so he put his arms around her and gently pulled her on top of him. Before she knew it, Maria was lying on top of her husband. He kept his arms around her but allowed her the space to prop herself up and look down at him. Maria decided that she quite liked this position.

"So, Maria Von Trapp," Georg began, "did you have a good day?"

"Yes," she replied as she kissed his forehead, "but first I want to hear about your day. What happened?"

"Oh, nothing much," he replied evasively as he began to run his hands up and her back.

"You, Captain, are a tease," she admonished and propped herself up even higher.

"Oh-ho," he protested, "I am the tease? I think not Baroness Von Trapp. Here you are, lying on top of me and you want to discuss politics and immigration."

"Georg!" she said, exasperated, "what happened?"

He relented. "It was exactly what I had hoped for," he told her. "We are legal immigrants now. They know who we are – who I am – and why we left. At first they weren't sure that they wanted such a potentially notorious escapee behind their borders, but ultimately they were convinced." "I believe," he continued with a wry smile, "that our finances helped to convince them. We can and already have contributed to the economy here in Dorfli, especially since we have already hired three women who previously did not have work." He looked up at his wife and ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it back slightly. Georg was so glad he had relieved Maria of her arduous work load, and that action had led to other benefits as well. "So we are legal immigrants," he concluded. "They know everything there is to know, and I have been granted political amnesty." He could see as well as feel her entire body relax against him as she let out a big sigh of relief. "We still need to be careful, but I see no reason why we can't stay here for the foreseeable future."

Maria relaxed even more, closed her eyes, and let her head drop lightly onto his shoulder. Georg could tell she was saying a prayer of thanks. He held her closer to him, this time putting his hand on the back of her head. He whispered his own silent prayer of thanks, although Georg's gratitude wasn't just for their current political safety, but also for Maria herself.

After a few minutes of mutual prayer and gratitude, Maria propped herself back up and smiled down at her husband. There was so much love shining out of her eyes that Georg felt he could live forever in her gaze.

Finally he asked her again: "And you, Maria Von Trapp, did you have a good day?"

"Yes, it was definitely a good day," she told him. "With a start like that, how could it not be?" She leaned down and kissed him once more.

"Johanna and Karolina are wonderful – together they were able to finish Kurt's new outfit. Tomorrow they will start on an outfit for Brigitta." "And Anna," she continued, "is wonderful. I had forgotten how good it is to spend the day **with** our family, rather than cooking for nine. Thank you, again."

Georg smiled contentedly up at her. All he wanted to do was love her, please her, and be with her.

"I did have a talk with the children," she continued. "Gretl hadn't realized that everything we left behind in Austria is staying in Austria."

"That must have been a rude shock," Georg said with a bit of concern.

"It was," Maria agreed. "But she's clear about it now – they are all clear about it."

He tightened his arms around her gently, grateful that she had been free to be with the children while he had been taking care of their family affairs.

"There is one little thing, though," Maria added.

"What is that?" Georg asked with even more concern.

"The children have all agreed that they would like some kittens," she informed him, and he could hear the amusement in her voice. "I think it's a good idea. It will give them something new to love that they never had back in Austria."

Georg did not like pets. He thought they were entirely too bourgeois, but he could tell this was already a lost cause, and that the family would be getting kittens. "Kittens?" he asked helplessly.

"Kittens," she affirmed, with a bit of amusement.

"Kittens," he repeated, and looked up to the ceiling with the air of a man who was silently suffering a great wrong, and nodded.

Maria laughed inwardly. She knew that this man's life hadn't been the same since the day she arrived at the villa, but she also knew that he wouldn't change it back for anything.

"Now," she said coyly, and started to run her fingers around the neckline of his pajama top. "What was that you said this morning? Something about finding a thing or two for me to do here, with you?"

"Why, Baroness Von Trapp," Georg protested with a great show of shock. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Maybe," Maria replied as she started to kiss the skin under and around his ears. "Do you need to be seduced?"

"Not at all," he almost growled, and rolled over so that he was on top of her, and began to pull off the simple, shapeless, soon to be replaced night dress.


	17. Part 2, Chapter 1 Restless

A/N: Still don't own any of this. Also, a big thank you to my friend Sibylle for helping me think through where this story should go next, and for being my "writing buddy."

PSA: The beginning of the chapter is hypocritical on my part. Buying cats can be wonderful as well. I am the proud and adoring owner of purebred Maine Coons. Maine Coons are the best cats EVER!

This chapter begins "Opening Windows – Part 2"

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Louisa and Brigitta ran together through the crowded, narrow streets of Dorfli, sometimes side by side, sometimes one in front of the other. They were finally getting to know their way around the little town, the little alleys and where to find sweets for their pocket change. Today, however, they were on a specific mission. "School" was out for the day and they were on their way to visit their new litter of kittens. There were four healthy little babies, still too young to be taken away from their mother, but all of the von Trapp children were counting down the remaining two weeks until they could bring their kittens home.

Georg had originally wanted only one, maybe two kittens, definitely purebred, preferably Persian. Maria had just looked at him with such a pained expression that Georg felt as though he might begin to physically shrink before her. She didn't say anything and he finally had to ask her what was wrong.

Once she started speaking, though, he felt as though he had gone back in time a few months and was standing in his backyard being chided by his soaking wet governess. "Don't you realize," she demanded more than asked, "that we are not the only ones who might be in need of a home? There must be plenty of kittens right here in Dorfli who need a good home, or else they'll be turned out onto the street. Why would you want to buy a fancy cat when some family here will be relieved to give us their kittens? And one or two? Georg, don't you realize that we have **seven** children? Can you imagine the fights that could break out if we have only one or two cats? All our children would want to play with them and cuddle with them and there won't be enough cats to go around!"

She paused to take a deep breath but before she could speak again Georg interrupted her. "You want us to adopt a litter of common street cats? Of alley cats?" he asked her, looking slightly pale.

"That's what I think is best for our children, yes," she responded defiantly and confidently. "They need to feel – not just know – that this is their home. And can you think of a better way of doing that then by letting them take in some poor but adorable creatures who would love them back?"

She could see the protest coming and cut it off before he had a chance to voice it. "Kittens are adorable, Georg. That's just a fact of life. They don't have to be fancy Persians to be adorable. If they're kittens, they're adorable. And the children will adore them."

Georg's lips began to twitch a little at the sides. She could tell she had won him over, but she had no idea what he found so amusing. Maria felt oddly disarmed by the fact that he was so obviously trying not to laugh and the commanding, defensive posture she had adopted immediately changed into a relaxed but suspicious one.

"Just what is so funny, Georg?" she asked. She wasn't sure she liked being laughed at when she was trying to make a point, even if it was just a point about kittens.

What she didn't know is that Georg had suddenly made a parallel between the litter of adorable local kittens and his wife, and one or two Persian cats and Elsa. Elsa might be sophisticated and glamorous – on the surface the perfect choice to be his wife and the mother of his children. But she wasn't what the children – or he – had needed. Instead they had needed the love of a common, mountain bred governess. And although Elsa and Maria were roughly the same size (as he knew better than anyone) Maria was just … more. She was so much more. She had more life, more love, more spirit … she filled up their home and all of their hearts. Elsa, try as she might, would never be enough and could never compare to Maria.

He knew better, though, than to tell Maria what he was thinking. It might not be so bad to compare her to a litter of adorable local kittens, but the subject of Elsa – and any comparison thereof – was best left unspoken.

Now, though, he had an indignant wife asking him what was so funny. He immediately got control of his expression and managed to look entirely serious.

"Nothing," he replied, and walked towards her and then wrapped his arms around her waist while she continued to look at him somewhat suspiciously. "Nothing is funny," he reiterated. "I just realized that you are right. And you, my darling wife, are very … adorable." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "Why don't you start looking for someone who has an extra litter of kittens on their hands?"

And so a few weeks later, free until dinner, Louisa and Brigitta were running through Dorfli on their way to visit their new kittens.

Maria had indeed found a litter of kittens, and the owner of the mother was only too glad to give them away once they were old enough to be on their own. All of the von Trapp children had been to visit them and names had been discussed and argued over, but only Louisa and Brigitta were old enough to visit Dorfli unaccompanied and also carefree enough to visit the kittens on this afternoon.

As for school, it had been quickly determined that there was no school in Dorfli advanced enough to teach the older children. Liesl, Friedrich and Louisa had all been in high school back in Austria, but there was no school here that really taught children past age 12.

The von Trapps had been receiving the best of educations in Austria, and so the older children, including Brigitta and Kurt, already had skills that went beyond what was being taught in the local school.

Georg was totally unwilling to send his children away to school and Maria agreed with him. They were still so new to Switzerland, and still felt the threat of the Nazis pressing in on them. Georg was determined to keep his family intact. He was also determined that his children were not going to essentially be on a long term vacation while the rest of Europe was starting to roil around them. And so he began teaching them himself. They weren't having the most conventional education, but it was enough.

Every day, Maria walked Marta and Gretl to the local school. Every day Georg met with the rest of his children, sometimes all together and sometimes in smaller groups based on age. All of the children spoke German and English fluently, so Georg worked with them on their Hungarian and started teaching them Italian. He assigned reading, worked with them on their sums, and gave lectures on history. Sometimes he expected essays back. Sometimes he would give them a series of sums and the children worked on them later in the afternoon or evening. He divided them into different levels for sums and Hungarian, but they were all beginning Italian. He also kept them all together for history lectures. Sometimes there were other, unexpected lessons thrown in there, such as occasional nighttime lessons when he taught them about the stars and celestial navigation.

At first Georg held private lessons with Friedrich in which he began to teach military strategy. He knew his son was becoming a man, as he had proven on their trek through the Alps, and Georg wanted to educate and mold him as a man. However, Kurt wanted to join in on the lessons, and then surprisingly Brigitta did as well, and soon it was another group lesson.

The highlight of the day, for Georg and for the children, was Debate Hour. Everyone came together, Georg would throw out an issue or a question, and inevitably a lively and spirited debate would follow with Georg serving as moderator or instigator. The only rules were that only one person was allowed to speak at a time, there was to be no interrupting or yelling, and everyone had to participate. His intention was to teach his children to think for themselves, to fully form thoughts and to articulate them. Everything they were learning came in to play in Debate Hour – what they had been reading, what they had learned from history or military strategy – everything.

For their part, Marta and Gretl were beginning to enjoy the local school. It was so different from the school Marta had been attending before they left Austria, and Gretl had never before attended a full day of school, so it was a novelty. Not all of the children were kind to them from the beginning, some were jealous or mean, as children can unfortunately be. Some were suspicious of this new family, having adopted their parents' views on them. More than once Marta or Gretl came home from school in tears. But they were always met by Maria, and she always managed to dry their tears and send them back the next day with no meanness in their hearts towards the other children. As a result Marta and Gretl were beginning to make friends.

And so the von Trapps were beginning to continue with their lives, and the children were continuing with their education.

The unexpected, undesired and as yet unacknowledged consequence of Georg's home schooling, though, was that Maria had begun to feel very insecure. She knew that Georg was older, more experienced, more educated, more distinguished in every way. But she hadn't realized how much more educated her older children were than she was. Maria could sew and cook, she could certainly sing and had learned how to read and compose music from her mother, but she had only attended school until she was 12 and that had been a very small school. She wasn't advanced in doing sums, she didn't know as much about history, and she spoke only German and passable Hungarian.

Maria was suddenly embarrassed at how poorly educated she was. It was a new feeling, and an unwelcome one. She had never before felt that she needed to apologize for who she was. She had apologized for her actions many times, especially back at the abbey, but never for who she was or where she came from. When she lived in the mountains her entire life was up there. She worked, she sang, she studied music, she took care of the animals. Most of all, she wandered freely through the mountains, not embarrassed and not judged by anyone, including herself. When she had joined the abbey, the nuns had accepted her for who and what she was. Backgrounds and previous education were not important. What was important was her dedication to God and her spiritual education. Then she went to the von Trapp villa and was there to be a governess until school began, not an educator. She had originally recognized that her purpose there was to get the children reconnected with their father, to remind them how to be children again, and to bring the family back together. She had also originally recognized Baroness Schrader as the appropriate wife and mother to this family until her own heart had led her in another direction.

Throughout the brief engagement she had been so happy, so immersed in her new role in this family and so in love for the first time in her life, that she hadn't had much of a chance – or reason – to think about herself as separate from or in comparison to her new family. There had been a few things that did make her think about this difference, such as her discomfort in spending Georg's money to buy herself clothes – nicer clothes than she had ever owned before - and her struggle with herself to acknowledge that as the future Baroness von Trapp this was appropriate. And of course there had been the whispers of comparison from Georg's friends. Not Max of course, never Max. He had accepted her with open arms, acknowledging her as the perfect partner for Georg and the right mother for the children. Of course given her love of music and her influence over Georg he had probably seen her as a potential ally in getting the family to sing publicly, but he had never made her feel uncomfortable in any way. It was the other so-called "friends" that Georg had made in Salzburg and throughout Austria who were friends more with his status and rank than with the man himself that could make her feel uncomfortable. But then the children would be there wanting her attention, or Georg would be there making her feel so secure in his love for her that all discomfort or thoughts of comparison would flee.

Then there was their honeymoon. She had spent that time too immersed in her husband and their new intimacy to worry about other people. Besides, she was in a city where she knew no one, where everyone met her as Baroness von Trapp rather than as the governess who married the Captain.

So it wasn't until now, when her family was trying to settle into some semblance of normalcy, that she began to see how different she was – in background and education – from her husband and her children. For the first time in her life Maria was embarrassed about who she was as opposed to an action she had taken. She didn't know how to handle this feeling or the issues that were behind it. Instead she walked Marta and Gretl to school, she picked them up again, she played with her children and sang with them, dried tears and loved her husband – for she did love him – she loved all of them – with all of her heart. But inside of her heart a shadow had begun to grow, an unfamiliar shadow. She began to doubt herself. If it had been any other kind of shadow she might have known what to do. She could have spoken with Georg and shared how she was feeling, she could have sat in on some of the classes, she could have seen the ways that they valued her. She could even have bolstered her own confidence as she did on the day that she was traveling to the villa for the first time. But the problem with doubt is that one begins to doubt the feeling itself and how to deal with it, or even if one should deal with it. And so Maria kept a smile on her face and a song always close at hand. If she faltered, no one recognized it yet. If she turned away from her husband at night after a quick kiss he could think back on all that she had done during the day and conclude that she must be tired. And if she pretended to be asleep but instead stared out into the dark night feeling like a poor excuse for a wife and mother to this wonderful, sophisticated, educated family, no one knew.

And so for better, for worse, the von Trapp family had begun to settle in to Dorfli. They couldn't wait to bring home their new kittens, and Louisa and Brigitta were taking this afternoon to go visit the furry little babies.

Georg was in his office. Classes had ended for the day. Maria was off somewhere doing something with the children – he wasn't sure where or what. He was standing at the window looking out into the mountains, but for the most part he'd been pacing back and forth in his office. He felt confined. Trapped.

It was ironic. He'd finally achieved what had once seemed so unlikely: safety and stability for his family outside of the reach of the Nazis. But it wasn't enough anymore. Looking at the mountains he could feel the press of the Nazis. Hitler was going to do his damnedest to overwhelm Europe, Georg had no illusions about that. Yet despite Switzerland's borders and professed neutrality it was still in Europe. Should they have gone to the United States? Had he settled too easily? Should he uproot them now? He couldn't – not when he'd so recently promised them they wouldn't have to leave soon. Had he made a mistake?

And worse, there was a war brewing. He had no doubt about that, and no doubt about Hitler's intentions both in terms of war and in terms of persecution. Yet here he was, a man of military skill and might, holed up in a small Swiss town with his family.

"Damn it!" he swore, slamming a copy of the first volume of Mein Kampf down on the desk. He had already read it. The insanity that was so evident in it was one of the reasons why he had been so adamant against joining the Nazi party. Now he had procured a few more copies and was having the children read it. It made for some good Debate Hours, but in general they all agreed that it was a poorly written, poorly constructed volume and were similarly appalled at the ego and superiority that dominated the book.

But Georg knew that this was far more than a family debate. He knew the rest of the family did as well, but for him it was becoming all too real. How could he, as a man of good conscience, stand back, safely in hiding, and let this persecution come to fruition?

He had fought in a war. He was no coward, and yet he felt like one. The world seemed to be crumbling around him. Austria was gone – it was a part of Germany now. A part of Hitler's Germany. It wouldn't take long for Hitler to invade other parts of Europe. People of good character were going to be heavily persecuted – probably even killed – simply for their race or their political views or for any other reason. Not many of them would have the luck or skill to escape as he had, and yet here he was in his comfortable office, doing nothing.

"Damn it!" he swore once again. Georg had never felt useless before, but he felt trapped, useless and irrelevant.

Maria was outside with Marta and Gretl, listening to them talk about school. On the surface she was smiling and encouraging them to go on. Below the surface she was berating herself that the only children she didn't feel less than, in comparison, were her two youngest.

They all jumped the first time they heard Georg swear. Marta, easily startled and still insecure, began to look teary. Maria immediately hugged and reassured her. "Oh, don't worry darling. Your father is only feeling frustrated. There's nothing wrong, and no one's in trouble."

Inwardly she snapped at him 'Keep your frustrations to yourself, Georg! Stop scaring the children!' She had felt his suppressed frustration for weeks now and knew how helpless he felt, but what was the point in upsetting the children like this? He would hear about this tonight, she was sure of that.

Then they heard him swear again. Again, the girls jumped. That was it. Maria decided to send the girls inside and tell him to get himself under control.

"Why don't you two go up to your room and keep thinking of names for the kittens?" Maria suggested. "You can tell us at dinner." "I'm going to go check on your father," she continued a little more darkly. She kissed each of them in reassurance and walked with them inside.

Georg was still fuming in his office when he heard a knock on the door. He could immediately tell it was Maria and looked upward in exasperation. For some reason she had started knocking on his door over the last few weeks and he didn't have the first clue as to why, nor was she forthcoming about it. He loved the woman with every inch of his being but she could be maddening sometimes. He turned towards the window again which put his back to the door. "Please come in," he said with exaggerated politeness.

He heard the door open and close and could feel her standing behind him. He knew he was being incredibly rude by keeping his back to her but didn't want to turn and look at her. She was so beautiful – so appealing – especially when she was angry. And for some reason she had been too tired for much intimacy since they'd really gotten settled here, despite the help they had. He didn't want to turn around, he didn't want to want her so much especially since he knew he'd probably be rejected again that night.

"May I help you?" he asked, again with exaggerated politeness. He heard her sigh heavily in frustration before she said "You can help the children." He still didn't turn around but he was curious as to what she would say next. This was not what he'd expected. "If you could possibly refrain from swearing," she continued with an edge of sarcasm, "it might frighten them less."

Georg immediately felt terrible. Here he was, failing at the one thing he was doing: protecting his family. He turned around, feeling guilty and ready to ask whom he had frightened, but the look on her face made him rock backwards in his boots instead and fold his arms across his chest.

"Georg, I know you are frustrated here. You have made that clear in every possible way. But the fact is you are here, with us. You're not at war. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but please don't take it out on us so much."

Georg sighed to himself. It was the same old argument – the same one he had had with Agathe so many times, so many years ago. She just hadn't understood why it was not only necessary for him to go to war, but why it was also necessary to distinguish himself as he did. She couldn't understand that he was a man who could never do less than his best, especially for a cause that he believed in. And if that put him in jeopardy, then that was his choice to make. She had never understood this side of him, and now apparently Maria didn't either. He turned his back to her again. "Please give them my apologies," he said.

What Georg didn't understand and couldn't see was that Maria was completely different from Agathe in this way. She loved her husband's convictions. She loved his conscience and morality, and she loved that he was a man of action, willing to do whatever it took to stand up for what he believed in. Although their narrow escape had been terrifying, she was so proud of him for refusing to join the Third Reich. As she had once told Max, she could never ask Georg to be less than he was. She began to tell him that, to tell him that she could understand how a man both of conscience and action would be frustrated in this current situation, but she never had the chance.

"Georg, if you are going to be here with us than be here. If not – "

He cut her off, not able to help the words that came out of his mouth. "I could say the same to you." He instantly regretted that he had said it, but he was too angry and too stubborn to take it back.

Maria caught her breath. "What precisely is that supposed to mean?" she asked him.

"I think you know," he snapped. "Maria, I don't know where you are, but you're not here anymore. Not all of you, anyway, and I think you know I mean that in many ways."

He turned around and saw to his chagrin that she looked like she had been slapped. Without a word she turned and walked out the door.

Georg felt like he had been punched in the gut. It was actually difficult to breathe. He sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands. He didn't know what was bothering Maria so much these days, but it was clear to him that something was wrong. He had meant to ask her about it, to discuss it, and instead he'd accused her. Once again, he felt like he was failing. He was trapped, unable to do anything to help while this disease was starting to ravage Europe, and now he couldn't even maintain his own family, tell his wife how much he loved her, or even explain his frustration to her.

Outside of his office, Maria sank slowly to the floor. What had happened to Georg? What had happened to her? Why couldn't they communicate anymore? Why couldn't she cross this education and class barrier and tell Georg how much she loved him? She could understand – at least she thought she could understand – why he was so frustrated, but why wouldn't he let her help or even talk to him?

His barrier of politeness – and now frustration as well – seemed more impenetrable now than it had back in Austria because now she was plagued with doubts about her suitability as his wife. Now she wondered what kind of mother would compare herself to, and feel inferior to, the children who she loved so very much? She put her head in her hands and wished she could talk with the Reverend Mother. She couldn't, but there was someone she could always talk to. Once again she reached out to God as she prayed "Please help me."

That one prayer contained all of her doubts and insecurities, all of her love for Georg and her children, and all of her helplessness at watching Georg's frustration.

Now there was nothing to do but wait for an answer.


	18. Part 2, Chap 2, When My Heart is Lonely

Georg rolled over, still more than half asleep, and reached his arm across to Maria's side of the bed. Even though they had argued the day before he loved the nearness of her. During the years that he was married to Agathe he was frequently given the advice to never go to bed angry. In his opinion, after plenty of experience, that wasn't good advice. Sometimes he – or she – was just exhausted and the exhaustion could fuel anger or upset and lessen one's communication skills. In his opinion, sometimes going to bed was the only way to get out of being angry.

Unfortunately, he was still unbelievably frustrated to be holed up here in Switzerland while Hitler was beginning to play out his insane ideas. This was an upset that went beyond a good night's sleep. It was the frustration of feeling trapped and useless when he knew good men must be needed.

Nevertheless, in his still half asleep state he reached over to rest his hand on Maria's chest, wanting to feel her warmth. When he found nothing there except a mattress he came quickly and fully awake. Sitting up he saw a note propped up on her pillow and for a mad moment thought that she had again written to tell him she had returned to the abbey.

He calmed himself down with the knowledge that even if she was angry at him she would never leave the children now that she was their mother, and with the fact that she couldn't go back to the abbey. It was in Austria.

Was that what was bothering her? He knew something was wrong but he had been so engrossed with his own feelings of helplessness he hadn't done much more than condemn her. Georg thought back on his behavior with a flush of shame. That was not how the head of a family behaved. Not how a good, loving husband behaved. And yet … and yet … this was all wrong again. It was wrong for him to be here not doing anything to help the situation in Austria – a situation that he knew must be deteriorating.

He sighed rather than swear again, remembering Maria's admonishment the earlier day. He picked up the note and opened it, his mouth suddenly dry with anxiety.

All it said was that she had to go away for the day, to please kiss the children for her and walk Marta and Gretl to and from school. It also assured him that she would be home by dinner.

'Damn,' he thought to himself 'damn, damn, damn!' How had he let things get to this state? He had obviously been so absorbed with himself that now he didn't even know where his wife was.

Georg felt more useless than ever. The reason they had fled to Switzerland wasn't just because he refused to fight for the Third Reich, it was also to keep his family together. Now he wasn't even doing that. In his frustration and helplessness he rolled over and punched his pillow. He punched it again, and again. Eventually he gave up – that pillow was neither Hitler nor Herr Zeller. There was no point in punching it.

He could smell breakfast cooking so he got out of bed and quickly got dressed and ready for the day. With Maria gone he would probably need to help Gretl get dressed. As he thought about it he realized he didn't even know when the local school began.

Georg hurried downstairs. The children were already beginning to congregate for breakfast, and he was relieved to see that Gretl was already dressed.

The family of eight gathered together, the chair at the opposite end of the table was painfully empty. Georg tried to keep his eyes off of it and focus on the children, but he could see how much they were looking at the empty seat.

Finally, Marta spoke the question on everyone's mind. "Father, where's Mother?"

"I don't know, Marta," he hated to admit it, "but I know she'll be back later today."

"Where did she go?" Gretl asked. "She came in and helped me get dressed and she kissed us and said she'd be back later today, but she didn't say where she was going."

Admitting ignorance wasn't working. They weren't satisfied with it, and neither was he. "She had some business to attend to," he replied obliquely and hoped that they wouldn't question him more.

"Is she really coming back?" Marta asked, this time barely above a whisper. "Or did she go to the abbey?"

He looked Marta squarely in the eyes and spoke with full confidence, "she will be back by dinner. Today. She did not go back to the abbey. She will never leave you, not since she became your Mother. She's just had to go away for the day, but she will return by this evening."

The confidence Georg had that, despite any problems between them, she would never leave the children, gave his words a reassuring ring of truth. He looked at each of his children in the eyes, making certain that they understood and believed him. Finally satisfied he began eating again, encouraging the children to do the same. Every one of them stared down at his or her plate, picking valiantly at the food, unable to look at the empty chair anymore.

Georg could have figured out where Maria was if he had really thought about it, but he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think of where his wife might be – without his knowledge and without planning it with him. He just wanted this day to pass as quickly as possible so that she would come home and he could talk to her.

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Maria was already in the mountains, climbing higher and higher with every step. She tried to sing, she had thought that being in the mountains would lift her spirits and inspire her to start singing. But she had no spirit for it. So she began to force herself to sing but all she could manage were some scales and arpeggios.

Words of one of her favorite songs kept echoing in her head: "I go to the hills when my heart is lonely..." She had woken up with those words in her head and felt irresistibly compelled to go into the mountains. At the time it had seemed like an answer to a prayer, but she wasn't so sure anymore. Still, she kept walking. Something in her simply wouldn't allow her to turn around and walk back down to her house and all of the problems and insecurities that plagued her there.

Maria wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a sudden chill. Her heart was as lonely as it had ever been, and was feeling lonelier with every step. She had thought that in getting married and joining this large family that she loved so much she would never be lonely again. She had been so wrong about that. She was lonelier than she had ever been before, almost feeling like an outsider in her own family. Why weren't the music and mountains making her spirits soar like they always had before?

In a way, it was worse that she was here. She hated herself for leaving her family, even for just part of a day. They were still getting settled in Dorfli and she knew they needed as much stability as possible. Having their new mother go away – even briefly – couldn't be helping. She wished she could turn around and go back, but it was almost as though her feet and her very soul were possessed by a force that compelled her to keep walking – to keep walking away from Dorfli and away from her family.

She had known that her absence would not be easy for the children so she had made sure to see each of them before she left – waking them up, kissing them, reassuring them that she would be back that day and even helping Gretl get dressed. The only person she hadn't woken up or kissed goodbye was Georg. Somehow she felt as though he wouldn't care so she only let him a note.

Was he even thinking about her, she wondered, or was he still too angry about what was happening in the world to notice or care? And yet she blamed herself entirely for their argument, for the way things had begun to deteriorate between them. Why couldn't she just support him, tell him how much she loved him and was proud of him? The truth was, Maria didn't think she could do or say anything that would help him. She felt useless against the force of his rage – a rage she didn't even completely understand. Forgetting that she had once cut through an icy exterior that he had cultivated for years, Maria was again falling prey to her doubts about herself. She was letting her own insecurities dominate her and yet she felt powerless against them. Powerless against the loneliness, the isolation and the embarrassment.

What had she thought? That the differences between them, between their backgrounds, between their educations, between who they were would just vanish under enough love? Yes, that was exactly what she had thought when she had thought about it (which hadn't been often when she was honest about it).

She realized that she had stopped singing. She had finished her scales and arpeggios and there was no more music in her for the moment. The day was beautiful, she had to admit that. It was exactly the kind of day that would have lured her up into the mountains and away from the abbey. Today, though, she wasn't in the mountains for the love of it, but to escape from something that was inescapable.

So she kept walking. She didn't know where she was going, but her feet did. After a few hours she found herself in a familiar valley. There was Herr Kramer's house and there was his barn where she had slept with her family. Things had been so much simpler just a few weeks ago. Scarier, but far more simple. She and Georg had to get themselves and their children safely to Switzerland - that was their sole focus.

Certain that he was working, Maria didn't want to disturb Herr Kramer. Instead she sat down in her favorite spot, where she used to look down the valley in the direction of Dorfli and miss Georg. She sat quietly down in her old spot, brought her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and laid her head down upon her knees. She wasn't sure how long she had sat there, just looking at the beautiful valley around her before Herr Kramer found her.

oooooooooooooooo

Tobias Kramer had been working in the barn when his stomach told him it was time for lunch. Walking back into his house, he was thoroughly startled to see Maria sitting by the house. She was wrapped around herself in a posture he had never seen before. He didn't know how long she had been there, but he could tell something wasn't right. It wasn't like her to not say anything to him – to not even let him know she was there. When she had lived with him over those few short days he had so often heard her singing and it was not like her to be so quiet. Her very posture indicated unhappiness. She was also totally unaware that he had seen her. There was definitely something wrong.

Well, he decided, there was no use in guessing. He walked quietly to his house, careful not to disturb her reverie. While in his house he made two sandwiches of bread, cheese and salted meat. Carrying them both he left the house and walked up to her. He sat down next to her and silently handed her one of the two sandwiches.

If she was startled to see him he would not have known. She turned to look at him, almost as if she had been expecting him, and took the sandwich he offered her without a word. It felt good to be with him. He was one of her people – mountain born, bred and educated. She smiled gratefully at him, although the smile didn't reach her eyes. Side by side the older man and the young woman sat together, eating their simple lunches and looking down across the alm.

Tobias wasn't good at this sort of thing. Living alone he didn't have reason to talk that much, and he certainly didn't know what he could do to help her. However, he had grown to love Maria as a daughter and didn't want to leave her when she was so obviously unhappy. For a long time they sat together in comfortable silence, though he could feel her unhappiness radiating from her.

Finally he broke the silence by asking about Anna, Johanna and Karolina. "Oh, yes, thank you for that," she assured him. "They have been wonderful. There isn't as much sewing to do now, so Johanna is working more as a housekeeper. She only helps Karolina with the sewing now when there's a special project they're both needed on." "I think … I'd like to think … that they are as happy with us as we are with them."

"I'm sure they are," he replied. "I see Anna from time to time when she's visiting her family and she always tells me how wonderful you and your family are. She's very happy."

This reassurance didn't seem to work, for having finished her sandwich Maria again pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and stopped talking again.

Tobias would have been happy to sit with her in silence for the rest of the day, but he could tell that was not what she needed. She had come to him for a reason. Was it because he was still her only friend, or was it for deeper reasons? Finally he decided on a more direct approach.

"Maria, what happened?" he asked.

She turned her head, again resting on her knees, and looked at him sadly. He didn't press her for an answer. He knew she would speak when she was ready to.

"I suppose", she finally responded, "that school happened."

He didn't understand that answer, so he just sat there until she felt ready to continue. Maria appreciated his silence more than anything. The lack of pressure and the companionable quiet was fortifying and allowed her to gather her thoughts.

After several more minutes of silence she began to speak again. "Georg and I haven't been married for very long. We had a very fast engagement, and had only just returned from our honeymoon when we had to – when we found our way up here and met you. We never really had the chance to get used to being married."

This was no news to Tobias. He had been able to tell that they were newlyweds.

"And he," Maria continued, "he's a Baron. He's so educated. So accomplished. He's seen so much and done so much. I knew that when I married him, but I loved him and the children so much that I didn't think it would matter."

"I'm not like … them," she continued after a few minutes. "I haven't had their education. Oh, I've been to school, my mother made sure of that. And she made sure that I kept reading and learning even after school had ended. But they – they've had the best education money can buy! And when I'm with Georg … well, I've hardly seen anything of the world. He's seen and done so much. Sometimes, as much as I love him, I wonder what we're doing together. Why did he ever fall in love with me? Was it just for the children? If so - I don't even speak English, and I'm the only one in the family who doesn't. I'm more like you. I grew up in the mountains. I worked for my family and then I decided to be a nun.

That was definitely news to Tobias. He couldn't see Maria as a nun. He couldn't imagine her in that kind of life.

"I never took my vows." She kept telling her story. "It was while I was a postulant that I was sent by the Reverend Mother of our abbey to be a governess to the wealthy von Trapp family … but only until school began."

'So that's how this family came together,' Tobias thought to himself. The missing pieces were coming together, but he still didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to interrupt her story. He hoped that soon she would be able to explain this sadness that had come over her.

"While I was serving as their governess I grew to love all of the children as though they were my own. Still, I never dreamed that I would join this family and become their mother until I … until I realized that I was in love with their father as well. I left. I went back to the abbey. I felt that to have asked for his love would have been wrong. I had never been in love before and I was scared. I had no idea how to handle it. Finally I admitted that love to the Revered Mother. She told me that I had to go back see if that was the life God had intended for me, that in loving Georg I didn't love God less. So I went back. It was so good to see the children, but that very night Georg told me that he was in love with me. It all happened so fast. We were engaged then we were married. I knew that I had found the life God had intended for me, and I love my whole family so much."

She paused again, as though looking back on times past. "I just didn't realize how big the differences were in our backgrounds. That's something that's not going to change, no matter how much we love each other. Georg is teaching the older children now – at home. He's brilliant at it, but suddenly I feel so much less than them. They're learning things that are already far beyond me."

Maria turned and looked at him and finally said what was bothering her most: "What kind of mother compares herself to her children? And I'm supposed to be a partner to my husband. What do I possibly have to offer him?"

After a long pause Tobias realized that she was done speaking and was probably waiting for him to say something.

"Well, I don't know about that," he admitted, "but I do know that your family – your husband and every single one of your children – loves you every bit as much as you love them. They don't care where you came from."

"I know," Maria agreed. "That's what makes it so much worse. I'm the only one that seems to care about this. I'm the only one who can't get past our cultural differences."

'Well, that didn't help,' Tobias thought regretfully. He was at a loss. He didn't know what to do or what to say. But he loved Maria and wanted to help her.

"Get up," he said finally, and stood up.

"Come on, get up!" Tobias repeated firmly when Maria didn't move.

"Why?" Maria asked. She was comfortable where she was and didn't particularly feel like getting up.

"Well, I don't think I'm the best person to be talking to right now. I'm not a parent. I've never had children or been married." He looked down at Maria and admitted the truth: "I don't know if there are any right things to say here, but if there are, I'm not the one who knows them. There is someone, though, who might have a better idea. So come on, get up, we're going to see her."

Tobias reached out his hand to help Maria up. She looked skeptically up at his face, but could tell that he was adamant. Finally she took his hand and stood up.

"Where are we going?" she asked, but he just shook his head, refusing to answer.

After going into his house while Maria watched him make another sandwich that he tucked inside his coat, they walked across the valley for about 20 minutes. Tobias continued to refuse to tell her where they were going. He didn't want to give her any excuse to not follow him. Eventually he commented wistfully, "I think this is the longest time I've been with you that I haven't heard you sing."

Maria sighed behind him. "I know," she agreed. "I thought coming up here and being in the mountains would make it all better somehow, but I can't sing. There's just no music."

"Well, I for one, have never heard anyone sing as beautifully as you. I have missed hearing you sing. And I would consider it a great favor if you would sing something for me." He did want to hear her sing, but he also thought it would be good for her.

"Please?" he asked again, stopping the walk to look at her.

Maria's heart melted a little at the hopeful look in his eyes. He was being so kind to her, he had done so much for their family. The least she could do was give him what he asked for.

She nodded, filled her lungs and began to sing the song that had been in her head all day, the song whose line had inspired her to come up to the mountains today.

oooooooooooooooo

A short time later they arrived at another house in the alm. Maria could quickly tell that it was not only smaller than Herr Kramer's house it was also poorer and in need of repairs.

Herr Kramer knocked on the door and then walked right into the house without waiting for an answer. It seemed to be a knock of greeting rather than a request.

The main room of the house was small and dingy. There was very little furniture and those few pieces were old. It was obvious that someone took as much care of this house as possible, but that person was fighting a losing battle. There was only one person in that room: a woman older than Herr Kramer, older than the Revered Mother. She was sitting in a chair by the window but Maria could tell by the white film over her eyes that she was blind. She was wrapped in a blanket that stood out from the rest of the items of the room because it was obviously new.

The old woman turned her face to the door and smiled. "Tobias," she said happily. "And you've brought someone new to visit me."

Tobias, with Maria in still tow, walked towards this blind old woman. "Good afternoon, Grandmother," he greeted her. "I have brought someone to talk to you."

Maria suspected that this woman was not Herr Kramer's actual grandmother, but that he was using the term as a title. Suddenly, what she knew came together in her mind and she realized this was the Grandmother that she had heard about, and the actual grandmother of their cook, Anna.

The Grandmother reached out a hand in greeting and Maria clasped it in both of hers. "This is Maria von Trapp," Tobias explained.

The Grandmother sighed in familiar acknowledgement. "Anna is very happy working for you. She says you are a kind, good woman. Your whole family has been good to her. Thank you."

"Oh, thank you for sharing her," Maria replied. "She has been an excellent addition to our household. She is sweet, good and hardworking. We all like her very much."

The Grandmother nodded again in acknowledgement. Fingering her blanket she explained that Anna had just given it to her. The pride in her voice was evident. Maria realized that Anna had used her wages to buy this new blanket for her grandmother, and was even happier that they had hired her.

"Something tells me, though, that you didn't just come to talk about my Anna," the Grandmother finally said. It was a statement as well as a question.

Tobias answered before Maria could. "Maria is new to her marriage and is new to being a mother and needs to talk. She has no real friends in Dorfli, and since I've never been married or had children I thought you would be a better person for her to talk to than me."

Within a few minutes, Maria found herself sitting on a low stool by the Grandmother, pouring her heart out about her marriage, her children, and the educational and class differences between them.

"… and I love them all so much, I don't know why I am feeling this way. It terrifies me that whatever children I may have will become one of them as well. Oh, did you hear that? 'One of them,' as though we are not all a family. I hate myself for feeling this way." She finally trailed off and the three of them sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Maria," the Grandmother asked after a few minutes, "are you afraid that they will look down on you?"

Maria had not thought of that quite so clearly before. "Someday, yes," she admitted. "Oh, Grandmother, does that make me a terrible person?"

"Your thoughts or fears do not make you a good or bad person. If they did I would have gone to Hades many years ago." The Grandmother began to laugh at this little joke. The laugh quickly turned into a cough and she had to wait to finish coughing before she could continue. "I've never been wealthy," she was finally able to say. "The man I married was anything but an aristocrat. We loved each other … but I can't say I know how you are feeling."

She reached out with her left hand until she found Maria's head, and then she began to stroke her hair with great tenderness. "But I do know a few things. I know that when you become a parent you don't stop being a person. Who you are – that is always with you whether you like it or not. I also know that if you don't love and respect yourself, other people never will. Or at least it will be harder for them to do so. If you want to be happy and be a good mother to those children you must find a way to love yourself for who and what you are."

This had never occurred to Maria. Loving and respecting herself had never been a problem until these last few weeks, just as she had never been embarrassed about who she was until recently.

"I also know that this husband of yours knew exactly who you were when he married you. If he had wanted you to be different he would have married someone else. Now, Anna tells me how close your whole family is to each other. I don't think I'm the person you really need to be talking to, and neither is Tobias. The person you really need to be talking to is your husband. A marriage requires two people. Making it work, well that also requires two people."

"Yes, Grandmother," Maria didn't know what else to say. She wanted to talk to Georg about all of this, she had wanted to for weeks, but she didn't know how. Especially given how frustrated he had been lately. He seemed so angry with her all of the time, how in the world could she pour her heart out to him about such trivial matters? But she couldn't explain that – she couldn't discuss any of that with anyone. No one could know the circumstances that had brought her family here. Not even Tobias or the Grandmother. All of her self doubt still preyed on her.

"Thank you for taking such good care of my Anna," the Grandmother told her. The conversation had obviously come to an end.

"We love her and we love having her. She takes good care of us," Maria assured her.

The Grandmother gave her another wide smile.

Here Tobias cut in. "Have you had any lunch, Grandmother?" The Grandmother waved him away impatiently. "My son will be home soon. I have all I need."

"Well, it's just that I have an extra sandwich. If you don't want to eat it, I'm afraid it will go to waste."

The Grandmother glared suspiciously in his general direction, but eventually beckoned him closer and reached out for the sandwich. "Food should never go to waste," she admonished him.

"Then I guess you'll have to eat it," he responded, unfazed.

"I'll save it," she affirmed, but Maria guessed that she would probably eat most of it once they had left.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria walked outside with Tobias. "Thank you," she told him gratefully. "I'm so glad to have met her." She knew that her problems were not solved, but the Grandmother had given her things to think about. Plus, her dignity and self assurance had been a good reminder to Maria that an upbringing of hard work was not necessarily anything to be ashamed of.

'I suppose its how you choose to view yourself,' she thought. But still, she was embarrassed and felt badly for having left for the day. She doubted all of her decisions lately. Those emotions hadn't just left. She knew she had to talk to Georg but she didn't know how, especially these days. He was resembling more of a caged tiger than her husband, and seemed to have no time for her anymore

But she had promised her family she would be back in time for dinner, and she knew she needed to leave soon. As they returned to Herr Kramer's house she surprised him by hugging him, and thanked him again.

"It was so good to see you again. And I'm glad to have finally met the Grandmother." They said their goodbyes and she was off.

This time her heart did feel lighter, and as she walked back down the mountain she sang one of her favorite classical pieces. The soprano solo of the Laudate Dominum movement of Mozart's Vespera Solemnis di Confessore was best if backed up by a small orchestra and choir, but she still loved it on its own, and soon the mountains were once again filled with her soaring voice.

oooooooooooooo

Georg was not having a good day. He had been filled with anxiety about Maria's absence. Compared to the children, he was the one having the worst time. After her painfully conspicuous absence at breakfast, the children had all seemed to take it in stride that she was just away for the day and would be back that evening.

He told himself that he didn't like the idea of his wife being out and about – who knows where – without asking him first. Or even telling him first! The reality was that Georg was scared that he had driven her off for the day. They had that fight just the day before, and there was no doubt that he had become increasingly unpleasant these last few weeks. He had taken his agitation out on Maria just the day before when he knew that she was having her own emotional hardships, even though he had no idea what they were.

The questions and doubt kept coming back into his head: 'Why did I have to snap at her? Why couldn't I just have talked to her? I don't even know what she's so upset about, why couldn't I have just asked?' It seemed like an endless chorus in his head throughout the day.

Georg knew that a marriage could not work when either spouse – let alone both spouses – weren't communicating well. He hadn't meant to let his temper get the better of him but it had. Now Maria was gone and he was afraid it was his fault and that he was letting her down as a husband.

He could barely face those fears, though, so he told himself that he was upset with her for disappearing without at least telling him about it before hand. And he worried about how she was.

When Maria finally came home shortly before dinner she smelled of fresh air and sunshine, and he knew that she had been in the mountains. He chided himself again; he could have easily figured that out.

She greeted all the children enthusiastically – they were all delighted to see her again even though she had only been gone a few hours. But him – him she could barely face. They stood in his office while she asked how the day had gone and how the children had been. She seemed almost repentant, but not quite. Georg was having a hard time identifying her attitude and behavior towards him, but he knew he didn't like it. As she turned to leave his office, not yet having looked him squarely in the eyes and not having apologized for or explained her absence it hit him: she was scared and she was angry as well.

He could understand her anger after their fight the other day – he had been hard on her and had barely even given her an opportunity to speak. Still, her anger made him feel all the more furious at the situation. What was happening to them?

But her fear - that was the worst yet. His wife was afraid of him. Once he had ruled his family through intimidation but that was all behind him, wasn't it? He just loved them. He was strict with the schooling but he loved them with all of his heart, especially Maria. Her fear made him feel afraid. He was afraid of how he had hurt her yesterday, afraid of the powerful rage he was feeling and how it was evidently impacting his entire family. Most of all he was angry with himself for having frightened her. This was his fiery, free spirited wife, and she was afraid of him. Had he somehow become a tyrant again?

He wanted to take her in his arms and reassure her. He wanted to ask her to tell him everything that was troubling her. He wanted to bury his head in her hair and tell her everything that he was feeling about being trapped here in Switzerland. He wanted to tell her he loved her. Instead he heard the words coming out of his mouth almost as though they were coming out of a stranger.

"Maria!" he snapped. She turned back to him but also took a step away from him. For some reason this enraged him more. "Please remember that you are my wife and I am the head of this family. The next time you see fit to disappear for a day I would appreciate it if you let me know about it first." He put all the sarcasm he could into those words. There was no doubt that it was an order rather than a request.

Now she looked him in the eyes. "As you wish, Captain," she said more coldly than he had ever heard her before. "Any other instructions?"

His reply was equally icy; "That's all for now. Thank you."

oooooooooooooooo

Maria could tell when she was being dismissed. She walked calmly out of his office without another word and without looking back. She wanted to go outside to the backyard, but didn't want to be found by the children. She wasn't in the mood to comfort, sing or play. So she went up to her bedroom, uncomfortably aware that this was Georg's space as well.

She felt more estranged than ever, more out of place, more different from the rest of her family than she ever had. Georg had treated her like a servant again, like she was the governess to his children and nothing more. Without knowing it he had preyed on all her embarrassment and self doubt and made it worse.

Maria sat on their bed and put her head in her hands. How was she going to prevent this from making her show her insecurity around the children? And above all, how in the world was she going to be able to talk to Georg about all the things that had cropped up between them? She had felt lighter and freer coming back down from the mountains, and now she felt worse than ever. In the past the mountains had always been able to fill her lonely heart, but she had never been in love before. For months that love had been the greatest joy of her life, but now it was causing her pain she had never known before. Maria had not thought it possible for her heart to hurt this much.

Downstairs Georg was also feeling more upset and angrier than ever. He knew he had just made things between them much worse. Why couldn't he get control of himself long enough to say all the things he wanted to say to Maria? Why couldn't he be there for her and show her how much he loved her? He didn't mean to take his anger out on her, but he couldn't seem to help it. What was this other force that seemed to overtake him? How in the world was he going to be able to push that aside in order to actually talk to her?

He had never felt more lonely, or more useless.


	19. Part 2, Chap 3, Good Intentions

Georg was in trouble, and he knew it. He and Maria were still barely talking, at least not the kind of talking that counted. They talked about the children and about the household. In short, that talked about things rather than feelings, and they definitely did not talk about themselves. Georg knew that the parents were the foundation of a family, and if they were starting to come apart at the seams it wouldn't be long before the whole family would do so as well.

The irony was that he wanted to talk to her. He wanted that more than anything, but he didn't know how. The few times that they had tried to talk had devolved into arguments. More botched attempts at talking and subsequent arguments were the last thing that they needed.

He knew, in his heart, that she still loved him as much as he loved her, but somehow they had gotten all jumbled up and he no longer knew how to unjumble them. He also felt acutely responsible for the stand-off they seemed to be in. He was the head of this family, and it was his responsibility to maintain it. And he knew that he had done his fair share of yelling and then been just as tightlipped about what was bothering him as Maria had been.

But Georg was a man of action and so he decided to act. He became determined to show Maria just how much he loved her. And maybe, if he managed to show her in a way that left no doubt, it would open the way for them to finally talk the way they needed to.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria was upstairs in Brigitta's and Louisa's room. Out of all the children, Louisa was probably the one that was having the hardest time adjusting to living in Switzerland. She had been so connected to the villa, so connected to the land. She knew every tree that they had left behind, everything that lived in the river, where to gather spiders, toads and even the occasional snake. Her passion for the outdoors had been slowly shifting from passion to love and even to fondness. But now that it had been taken away from her, there was nothing she loved or wanted more.

She knew there were plenty of good and interesting things in Switzerland, such as goats and their new kittens. There were mountains here as well. And she knew that having her family intact was the more important than anything. So she was trying to act happy, support her parents and encourage the younger children. Sometimes, though, it got to be too much and she just needed a sympathetic shoulder. She was, after all, 14. Maria knew that wasn't an easy age to be. So many things were changing for Louisa, even in the most stable environment. With so many changes in her environment as well, it was that much harder.

And so Maria was lying next to Louisa on her bed, just letting Louisa talk. Maria had her arm around Louisa who in turn had her head on Maria's shoulder.

Maria felt for Louisa just as she felt for all of her children, having to leave the only home they had ever known. She was glad she could still support and care for her children in this way. Even if she didn't know as much as they did about history or Italian, she could still listen to them.

ooooooooooooooooo

Georg had walked outside, lost in thought trying to figure out how to make things right in his marriage again. He was in the backyard listening to the river when his memory took him back to another time when he was looking at a river, wondering how to talk to Maria.

It was the night that they had gotten engaged. Although he had hoped and - a part of him even believed - that she did love him, as he approached her he felt as though his part was pounding out of his chest. After awkward pleasantries she had gotten off the bench they were sharing and walked to the gazebo, as though she needed to put space between them at the mere mention of the Baroness. It was there, in the gazebo, that they had finally come together. That they had declared their love for one another, and they had agreed to marry.

As Georg looked at his new Swiss backyard it occurred to him that something was missing, and he finally knew what he could do to show her just how much he loved her. And maybe, just maybe, it would help them communicate and share their feelings just as it had done in Austria.

The only problem was that it was difficult to keep this gift a surprise. Georg realized that he would never be able to keep it a surprise and so he decided he would be forthcoming about it as soon as he needed to be. More secrets would just hurt them further.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The contractor arrived while Maria was taking Marta and Gretl to school so when she returned home she had no idea who was with Georg in his office, or why he was with anyone. He hadn't met with anyone – other than Tobias – that she knew of. That she knew of. That thought formed like a lead weight in her stomach.

She had to admit to herself that the two of them had become so distant, especially during the day time that he could have been meeting with any number of people without her knowledge.

Maria walked aimlessly into the dining room and sat down in one of the children's chairs. She was so distracted by this turn of events and by the thoughts that followed that she wasn't even sure whose chair it was.

'We were supposed to be partners.' Those were the words repeating themselves over and over again in her head. Oh, she knew he was the head of the family – that had never been in question. But after everything they had come through together in getting to Dorfli there had been an added level of trust and of intimacy. It was the kind of intimacy that had him discuss their immigration issues with her first before going to talk to the Swiss officials. It was that kind of intimacy that originally had her feel comfortable entering his office at any time. And it was that kind of intimacy that, a few short weeks ago, would have had her know who was in his office and why.

'Would have. Had. Past tense.' She thought to herself. The whole house had such an aura of school and education about it. Maria wondered what the children were doing while Georg was meeting with this mysterious person. She decided to find them. That at least would give her something to do. She was finding herself with less and less to do as the days progressed. She approved menus, supervised the housework, and walked Marta and Gretl to and from school. When the afternoon came she was usually surrounded by children again. Playing, settling disputes, listening to their woes, and quite often having conversations with them about what it was taking for them to settle down in Dorfli. But during the daytime she was starting to get bored. Bored didn't suit her, and she was just growing more unhappy.

It didn't take long for Maria to find all five children reading together in the parlor. Kurt took advantage of her entrance to close his book, toss it to his side and fall dramatically back on the couch. "Thank goodness you're here, Mother," he cried, "I don't think Father could have found a more boring book for us to read."

Maria smiled at him. The children were still her greatest joy and she felt happier just being among them. Kurt's eager greeting made her feel as though she were not some misplaced intruder interrupting a hall of concentrated learning and study. She walked up to Kurt and picked up the book. Not recognizing the title she put it back down on the couch and ruffled his hair fondly. "Oh, I don't know about that," she replied. "I'm sure the next book will be just as boring, if not more so."

"It is rather tedious, Mother," Liesl agreed, stroking the kitten that was curled up in her lap. All of the children had put their books down now and the air in the room had somehow become more relaxed.

"Oh why can't he give us something interesting to read, just for once," Louisa moaned in agreement.

"And what would you consider interesting?" Brigitta shot back before Maria could speak. "Animals or boys?"

Louisa made a face at Brigitta – Maria had the distinct sense that if she had not been there Louisa would have actually stuck her tongue out – and threw a pillow at Brigitta.

"Pillow fight!" Kurt cheered.

"Children!" Maria cut in before the situation devolved further. "Let's leave these pillows where they belong. If you must throw something, and I do understand that need, wait until you're outside … or at least in your bedroom.

Brigitta triumphantly tucked the pillow behind her back and Maria could see Louisa mouth the words "I'll get you later." She suppressed a smile, happy that the children were such good companions for each other.

"I'll see what I can do about getting your Father to give you more interesting reading material," Maria continued. "But as boring as it may seem he only has your best interests in mind."

"Speaking of your Father," she added in what she hoped was a light tone, "does anyone know what he's up to now?"

Friedrich, who had been sitting upright the entire time and had been quite obviously trying to convince himself that he had outgrown such childish things as pillow fights, finally spoke. "He said that he had a meeting, that we should read our books quietly (this said with a severe look around the room) and that he would call for us soon because we are to have a special lesson today.

Maria sighed inwardly. Obviously the children were no help at the moment, but of course Georg would be including them in whatever he was up to, and all in the name of education. She also made a note to herself to start working on Friedrich to be a little less intense and severe … and to discuss that with Georg too. She knew it was a carry-over from their trek through the Alps and the enormous responsibility he had carried. She also knew it was because he was trying to consider himself a man, whatever that meant. But he was only almost 15 – far too young in her opinion to feel the need to be so grown up.

Maria suddenly felt awkward. Now that she knew that her children only had a short time to do their reading and that Georg would be coming for them soon for some kind of special lesson she suddenly did feel out of place. 'Could there be a worse feeling than that you don't fit in with your family?' she thought to herself, giving them a weak smile. But before she could figure out how to graciously leave, Georg walked in.

He seemed just as startled to see her as she was to see him. She hadn't expected him so soon. His eyes flickered towards her and then away and Maria decided that her husband looked rather guilty. This did nothing to assuage her discomfort. "Children, would you please come to my office," he said awkwardly. "Just … leave your books here."

Kurt and Louisa visibly cheered up at the thought. But Brigitta, Brigitta could tell something was wrong. As they left the room both Brigitta and Liesl looked back at their Mother who smiled at them with fake encouragement.

'Well,' Maria thought after they had left, 'I suppose that's that. The children are needed and I, obviously, am not.'

She sat down on a chair and picked up a copy of one of the books. It was a history book and did look rather dull. She opened it to start reading it but closed it abruptly. "Oh what's the point," she said to the empty room. Maria knew that she would never be more than an unworldly and comparatively uneducated wife and mother, needed only when the children were acting out or wanted a hug.

She walked to the window and looked out at the backyard, not sure what to do with herself. So Maria stood there, looking out the window at nothing in particular, and with nothing to do.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Georg was already kicking himself, metaphorically speaking. A consummate navy man he knew how to carry the façade of being completely in control of a situation and of being completely sure of himself. But he knew that his actions had already backfired.

He had wanted the children to get an understanding of architecture by observing while he created the blueprints for the gazebo with the contractor. Yet he hadn't expected Maria to be in the room with them, and now there were just more secrets and less communication between them. 'What was I supposed to do?' he asked himself, but there was no answer.

The children, on the other hand, loved the idea of a new gazebo and were all fascinated to see how the foundation would be created, how the walls would support the roof, and how all of the angles would play off each other.

As homework he gave them the assignment of drawing up their own blueprints. He didn't expect any of them to create a viable blueprint, which is why he was still working with the contractor, but if nothing else it was an assignment of art and mathematics.

He briefly considered telling them all to keep it a surprise, but decided there were enough secrets, enough surprises.

The contractor agreed that he and his men would arrive the very next day to begin construction.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria had sat for hours, looking out the window. The days were getting shorter. And she could see the sun going down.

She walked into town to pick up her two youngest who were full of tales of the latest school antics.

Gretl, for her part, had met a schoolmate who had a pet bunny and suddenly wanted one of her own.

"I think that four kittens are enough right now," Maria said distractedly. "We wouldn't want them to think you don't love them anymore, or that you prefer a bunny."

She didn't notice Gretl sticking out her lower lip in an exaggerated pout. And Gretl, realizing she wasn't getting any attention, stopped pouting.

The threesome arrived home where Marta and Gretl hurried to the kitchen to get a snack and hopefully find a kitten. Maria wandered back into the parlor, but before she got there she literally ran into Friedrich. He was hurrying so quickly back to his room that he almost trampled his mother.

Maria caught him around the shoulders while Friedrich turned slightly red, embarrassed to be caught running so childishly. "Slow down there, my older son," Maria said gently. He had gotten so tall. When had he gotten so tall? A wave of maternal love for this boy-man crashed over her. "Whatever seems so important, I promise you there is still plenty of time."

'Plenty of time for you to grow up,' she added to herself, 'so please stop rushing.' She wanted to hug him but thought he'd be even more embarrassed.

"Yes Mother, he agreed fondly and respectfully. But then he couldn't contain his excitement. "It's just that we're building a new gazebo for the backyard and we met with the contractor and learned all about architecture and now I'm off to design my own gazebo and see if it's any good. Architecture is so fascinating! I never knew that so much work went into making sure a gazebo would stand upright. And just imagine how much work goes into designing a house…

But Maria had stopped listening. So Georg was building a new gazebo and saw fit to include the children but not her. She felt as though an icy hand was squeezing her heart.

She slowly returned to the present moment where Friedrich was still talking excitedly about architecture. "Well then you'd better run along and design the best gazebo anyone has ever seen," she said to him with a smile.

Friedrich beamed at her. "Yes, Mother," he agreed, and hurried away.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Later that evening, dinner was a quiet affair for both Georg and Maria. At opposite ends of the table they could barely look at each other. Or rather, Maria could barely look at Georg and Georg could barely take his eyes off of Maria. How wondered how had he let things get to this state.

The children were animated enough, talking about the gazebo. Marta and Gretl were fascinated and excited by the process, and thoroughly happy that they were going to have a new gazebo. The only people who noticed the tension between their parents were Liesl and Brigitta. But they didn't have time to let that worry fester because suddenly Georg burst out with "Why is this cat under my feet?" and he got up from the table – unheard of until they were all finished eating – and stormed into the kitchen where he found Anna.

"In the future, kindly remember that these … kittens are not allowed in the dining room." He had suppressed a bad word, but only barely.

"Yes, Sir," Anna agreed, with obvious embarrassment and agitation.

She started to hurry into the dining room to catch the offending cat, but Georg stopped her. "Well don't get it now! I don't want you **and** the cat crawling around on all fours while we are eating dinner. Just remember to close the doors before we eat and to make sure that all animals are out of the room before you close the doors."

"Yes, Sir," Anna agreed again, looking down.

He stalked back into the dining room and met an icy gaze from his wife. She didn't approve of his being hard on the servants. But damn it, how was a man supposed to eat with a cat brushing up against his legs?

Dinner ended in uncomfortable silence, as did dessert. Louisa subtly tried to get the kitten to come over to her, but she insisted on staying next to Georg and rubbing up against his legs the entire time.

oooooooooooooooo

Later that evening the children were all in their rooms, either sleeping or working on homework, depending on their age. Georg was in his office looking out at the backyard and the river that flowed across the edge of it.

This day had gone all wrong yet again. First the secrecy around the gazebo, and then the cat at dinner. All wrong again.

As he continued to look out the window he saw a familiar, slender figure walk outside and down to the river.

He watched her for a few minutes, enthralled. She was so graceful, so beautiful. Suddenly he decided to join her outside. He needed to make things right again. He didn't know how, but it certainly wasn't going to happen with him in the house and her outside. And so, with his heart beating out of his chest once more, he walked out to join his wife.


	20. Part 2, Chap 4, Something Good

**A/N: I still do not own any of TSOM. **

**And I want to give a big thank you for all of the reviews and encouragement. Every one of you who write in keeps this story going!**

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

There was one bench in the backyard, and as Georg had hoped, that's where Maria was sitting. The air had grown colder over the last few weeks. It wouldn't be long before it would be too cold to sit outside comfortably.

Georg walked up and sat quietly next to Maria. He had no idea what he was going to say and he felt as nervous as he had the night he first told her that he loved her.

They sat in silence for several long minutes. Georg tried to speak but no words came out. Instead he just cleared his throat a few times, opening and shutting his mouth, looking for the right words. If Maria had seen this she would have known how hard he was trying, but instead she sat staring out at the river, not looking at her husband.

Finally it was Maria who spoke, breaking the silence. "Where is the gazebo going to go?"

"You know about the gazebo." It was a statement more than a question. Maria nodded, still not looking at him.

"Over there," Georg said, gesturing towards the side. "What do you think?"

After another long silence Maria asked "Does it matter?"

'More than you know,' Georg thought to himself. He still wasn't sure what to say but finally decided to be as honest as possible.

"Maria, I've bungled things, and rather badly I'm afraid. I never meant to keep the gazebo a secret from you. The truth is that it was going to be – is going to be – a present for you. It is for you."

There was another long silence. Georg began to feel distinctly foolish for ever thinking of giving her a gazebo. What kind of gift was a gazebo? And why had he ever thought it was going to make any sort of difference for them?

Finally Maria spoke again. "You're giving me a gazebo?" she asked in a flat tone of voice. "Why?"

Georg felt even more foolish and despite the cold night air could feel his own temperature rising. He ran his hand through his hair and then over his face and finally answered her with the truth. "Maria, I love you more than anything. I haven't done a very good job of showing you that lately. Once, a gazebo meant something to us. I guess I hoped that it would mean something again."

Maria was embarrassed to feel her eyes fill with tears and was glad she was looking away so that he wouldn't be able to see her emotion. She took several deep breaths of the cold air and tried to will the tears away. She had no idea how much she had needed to hear that he still loved her.

All that Georg heard was silence. He had no idea that his wife was fighting away tears. Although he was feeling extremely foolish for the thought of giving her a gazebo, he was also distressed that she had nothing to say to what he had just confessed. Had things gotten so bad between them that she couldn't tell him that she loved him in return?

Georg folded his hands together, bent forward and closed his eyes. Maria felt him bend over and in that one gesture she could feel how earnest he was. She wanted to put her arm around him and rest her head on his shoulder, but she still didn't trust herself not to cry. And so she continued to look straight ahead trying not to let the tears fall.

Georg sighed to himself and buried his face in his hands for just a moment. So far, nothing was working. They still weren't talking and the gulf between them felt wider than ever to him.

He tried again. "Maria, you've been unhappy and I've been unhappy and I don't know how we're going to get through this unless it's together. I don't even – I don't know what kind of husband I've been to you lately, because I don't even know why you're so unhappy. I've left you alone with it, and I'm so sorry. I've been so unhappy myself that's all I've been able to see. But when we got married we promised each other that we would be together for better or for worse. For a while I thought that "worse" was leaving Austria and setting up a new life for our family. Now I know that there's something infinitely worse: my wife's unhappiness. Please, Maria, tell me what's bothering you. And let this foolish, selfish man share his troubles with you as he should have done weeks ago."

Maria no longer cared if he knew she was close to crying and so she wiped the tears from her eyes and bent her head down towards his. At first she didn't know how to respond. Finally she found her voice. "Thank you for the gazebo, Georg, it's a wonderful gift." Tentatively she put her hand on his back and continued. "I thought you and the children – I thought you didn't care what I thought about it." She started to explain some of what had really been bothering her these last few weeks: "I felt … irrelevant."

Georg closed his eyes again for a brief moment as the pain of her words washed over him. She had felt irrelevant? He wanted to sit up, he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her how much she mattered to him, how crucial she was to their entire family. But something inside told him not to do that. Her hand on his back felt so good – felt so right – that he was afraid she would move it if he sat up. He also felt that she was just starting to say everything that had been making her so unhappy, and the last thing he wanted to do was stop her. So he reached out his hand and tenderly put it on her knee and rubbed it gently up and down her leg, willing her to continue speaking.

She didn't. After several more moments of silence, Georg said "Maria, I want so desperately to tell you how much I love you, and how very relevant you are. But even more than that, I want you to keep talking, keep telling me why you've been so unhappy."

If Maria had thought she had been embarrassed before, it was nothing to what she was feeling now. Admit to Georg how uneducated she felt, especially compared to the children? Tell her husband she felt like a country bumpkin next to him and that she didn't know how to cross their class barriers? Actually put into words how useless and bored she was starting to feel?

Maria could feel her face starting to burn and was once again glad for the cold wind. She remembered the Grandmother's words and knew that this was the opportunity to talk to Georg, the opportunity she had needed. But now that it was here she didn't know what to say. And Georg was being so gentle. This was a side of him that she had never known outside of their bedroom and it was disarming.

She took her hand off his back and placed in on top of the hand that was stroking her leg. Maria watched as their fingers intertwined. "You're right," she finally agreed. "I didn't think anything could be harder that getting safely to Switzerland, but this – making a new life for ourselves – is so much more difficult. And I don't think that we can do it alone, as we have been. At least it hasn't been working that way. We have to do it together."

Their hands were now firmly laced through each others in a gesture more intimate than they had shared in weeks.

"So tell me, Maria," Georg encouraged, "what's been troubling you."

"It is so hard to put into words," she began to explain. "It's not so much that it's difficult as it is very embarrassing." Maria turned her face away again, trying to hide how embarrassed she really was.

Now Georg was really surprised. Maria embarrassed? He had known Maria to be angry, reserved, overly polite, but rarely embarrassed. Well, there was their wedding night, but she hadn't been embarrassed then so much as nervous.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand," he said helplessly. "What could you possibly have to be embarrassed about?"

"You really don't know, do you," Maria said softly.

Georg felt instantly indignant. Here he was doing his absolute best to be loving and understanding, encouraging her to say whatever was on her mind and she was rubbing his ignorance in his face. However, her hand stayed tightly linked with his, and so he didn't release it.

"Georg," she finally began to explain, "You teach the older children every day at this school you've fashioned for them here. What do you think I have to do during 'school'?" It wasn't a real question and he knew the answer before she answered it on her own "nothing," she replied.

Georg's heart sank. What she said was true. First she had been over-worked, and now there was hardly anything for her to do during the day. Had he over compensated? Frustrated with feeling so trapped in Switzerland, he had buried his head in his children's education and ignored what Maria was doing – or not doing – during the day.

"We can let go of Anna, or Johanna," he suggested. "We can do whatever you want! You are the mistress of this house. Whatever you want to do, it's yours: Sewing, cooking, decorating the house, whatever you want." He spoke somewhat wildly, desperate to fix the situation.

Maria looked up at the stars and felt her eyes fill with tears again, but this time they were tears of anger and frustration. "Wonderful," she replied, unable to keep the sarcastic bite out of her voice. "Then I'll essentially be your servant again. Tell me, Captain, what will my salary be?"

Georg drew his hand back and sat up. He felt wounded to his very core. All he had tried to do was help her figure out what she wanted to do during the day and let her know what was possible. He felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him, but finally found his voice again. "Maria, how could you say that?" he asked.

Her passion now aroused, Maria found it easier to speak and to answer him quickly. "How could I not?" she asked. "You're offering me my choice of household jobs! Georg, don't you see the difference between us? Don't you see that you are a naval hero who has traveled to places I've never dreamed of? You are a Baron, and I'm a mountain-bred woman who is a Baroness only because I married you! You are teaching the children advanced history, mathematics, Hungarian, Italian – you are teaching them all kinds of things I don't even know! Don't you know how humiliating it is to be a member of this family and yet feel that there are educational and class barriers that I can never cross? Don't you know how humiliating it is to watch you teach the children and know that I can't participate because you – all of you – have a better education than I? Don't you know how heartbreaking it is to compare myself to my children and come up short?"

Maria took a deep breath and continued her tirade "What kind of mother compares herself to her children in the first place? I don't know, but I can't help it. It's in my face every day – how irrelevant I am. How much you all don't need me, unless it's for soothing some upset." She shook her head. "We are so different, you and I. I loved you so much I didn't think it would matter. I didn't even think about it! But now that we have finally settled in Dorfli and are trying to live our lives, I have nothing to do – nothing to give. And your best suggestion is that we let go of some of our help and I take over her chores. So how can I not feel like a servant?"

Suddenly the passion drained out of her and she was filled with sadness more intense than she had ever known. She bent over, clasping her hands as if in prayer and resting her forehead on them. She felt as though she would never be able to sit up again, let alone get up from this bench.

Georg was stunned. So much so that for several minutes he couldn't respond, he just processed what she had said. Maria felt … inferior. This was the woman he loved with all his heart, the woman who had brought them together as a family again, the woman who had brought music, love and laughter back to them. Now she felt useless, she felt as though she had nothing more to give them.

He knew there were big differences in their backgrounds but he hadn't thought that would ever be an issue between them. He certainly didn't care and never thought about it, but it had obviously been gnawing away at her spirit.

Georg cleared his throat, knowing he needed to speak now. "Maria, I – I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell you how important you are. How much we all need and love you. But I've really shut you out, haven't I?"

Maria was still bent over with her head on her hands. That was exactly how she felt: shut out. And that feeling of being shut out had led to so many other thoughts and feelings that were gradually poisoning her spirit. She felt her whole body relax as she realized that Georg was beginning to understand her unhappiness.

"I've been unhappy as well, and I haven't shared it with you. You are my wife, my partner, one of the first people I should share things with. And we – there are so many things you can teach the children. I've been an idiot for not seeing that before. "

Maria was so shocked she sat up again. It had never occurred to her that she could teach the children as well. "What kinds of things?"

"Well, for one the children are all musical. Why aren't we teaching them music? I can sing and play a few instruments, but I can't teach music the way you can. And as for the rest, there are so many things I know you could teach them if only I had thought to include you in the lessons as a teacher with me. I don't even know what could be possible if you join me but I do know that our children will receive a much better education if they have the two of us rather than just me."

Maria shook her head slightly. She had been filled with so much self doubt that she didn't know how to let go of it enough to even consider these ideas.

"Georg, the differences between us are too big."

He felt his mouth go dry. "Maria, what are you saying?"

"I don't know," she replied. "But I know that as much as I love you, you'll always be distinguished, educated and worldly. I'll always be your poor governess who came from the abbey to help you get through the summer."

Now Georg wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "Well we **are** married," he said, "and I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, even if I have been a thoughtless boor lately. That has to count for something."

Maria leaned her head against his shoulder and agreed with him. "I know," she said, "And I will always love you and will always be your wife. But…" she trailed off.

"What would the Reverend Mother say?" Georg asked gently. He knew that Maria always found comfort and inspiration in her words, and that the Reverend Mother was the reason she had come back to him in the first place.

"I wish I knew," Maria said helplessly.

"Well, what has she said in the past?" Georg asked, hoping for something, anything that would help break his wife out of this self doubt and self recrimination. After a pause he added "You once told me that she said that you have to look for your life. Did she say anything about what to do when you found it?"

Maria looked down at her hands as memories of that fateful conversation with the Reverend Mother flooded back over her - all of the fear and confusion she had been experiencing - and yet it had changed her life, and it had helped her to find her life. "Well, yes," she finally responded. "She told me that once I found it, it would take all the love that I have to give, every day, for the rest of my life."

The two sat in silence for a few more minutes while Maria thought that over. The Reverend Mother had never said that it would be easy. On the contrary, she said that it would take everything that Maria had to give, every day. For the first few months it had been so easy – so easy to be caught up in the love for her family, their love for her, and the overwhelming delight of being loved and in love for the first time in her life. Yet it had grown difficult over the past few weeks and she had started to crumble under the difficulty of it all. The Reverend Mother had also told her that she had to face her problems head on rather than avoiding them. With a small shock Maria realized she hadn't been following the Reverend Mother's advice. Had she been giving all of her love or had she been more worried about herself, feeling separate from her family? She certainly hadn't faced her problems – she'd sat out here feeling hurt and alone until Georg had approached her and broken the silence.

"I guess she never said it would be easy," Maria said slowly. "She also told me I had to face my problems rather than escaping from them. I haven't been doing a very good job of that lately. And I think she meant that I would need to give all of the love that I had rather than worrying about myself and how I compare. I haven't been doing a very good job of that lately, either."

Georg took her hand and lifted it up to kiss it. "Neither of us have," he admitted. "I haven't been a good husband to you Maria, and I can only imagine how alone you have felt."

It was such a tremendous relief to hear him admit it that Maria felt her body whole body relax. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder and he in turn wrapped his arm around her, holding her close.

"I've been so wrapped up in my own feelings and in my own frustration that I haven't been there for you at all," he continued. "This is a time of change for all of us and as the head of this family I should have been aware of how this school – how all of it – has been making you feel. Instead I just carried on and let this rift grow between us."

"We both have, Georg," Maria reminded him.

"Yes, but we decided we'd be partners," he stated firmly, "and we certainly haven't been partners over these last few weeks. Not concerning our children, not even concerning our own feelings. I've been so frustrated, feeling so trapped, and I haven't let you in. I can see now that I haven't trusted you to understand."

"I want to understand," Maria replied just as firmly. She sat up again and put both hands on his face, drawing his head around to look at her. "Why have you been so unhappy?"

Georg shook his head helplessly – not at Maria but at the situation of Europe in general. "For a time all that mattered was getting all of us safely to Switzerland," he explained. "I thought if we could just get here and get away from the Nazis we would have achieved the impossible and that was all I wanted. But now that we're here I can't help thinking about what is happening in Austria and feel like I abandoned my country."

"Georg, you had no choice," Maria interrupted earnestly. "You had to get out or they would have forced you to fight – and probably die – for a cause you don't believe in!"

"I know that," he agreed. "But sometimes I feel like I'll go crazy tucked safely here in our little Swiss town while good men and women are being persecuted and don't have the means or capability of escaping as we did. I think about what Hitler is doing in Austria and I feel sick as I think about it expanding across Europe and I'm doing nothing to prevent it."

At this point he stood up and began to pace back and forth in front of the bench.

"And then other times I think about the Nazis expanding their reach across Europe and I wonder if we've gotten far enough away," he continued. "Will Switzerland stay safe? Or should we have gone to America and gotten further away? But I've promised the children we won't leave anytime soon."

He stopped pacing and looked at Maria and shrugged, letting his arms fall at his sides in a gesture of helplessness.

"I feel trapped. I don't know if I should be moving this family further away or if I should be helping out some resistance movement."

Maria stood up, facing him, and Georg caught his breath at the love shining in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and clasped her hands behind his head. Then she slowly brought his face towards her for a kiss. She was suddenly so tender and loving that for a moment Georg felt all of his troubles fade away in her arms. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her again.

Eventually they were standing in an embrace with Maria's head against his shoulder. He ran his fingers through her short hair, so relieved to be close to her again that for a moment nothing else mattered. Then she spoke again.

"Whatever you decide to do – whatever you need to do – I will support you. If you feel we should leave Switzerland then we certainly can. The children will be alright. If you find a way to help fight against the Nazis then I will support you in that as well. We are living in difficult times and the world needs good men like you to stand against this threat."

This time Georg was flooded with a sense of relief. It was so intense that he had not realized how much he needed Maria's support. He held her even closer to him and said "I thought that you wouldn't understand - that you would just want me to stay settled here with the family."

Maria felt a shock of surprise and pulled back to look at him. "I love your ideals, Georg! They are a part of who you are. I've never been more proud of you than when you refused to support the Anschluss and then refused to join the Third Reich and instead found another option to keep both yourself and your family safe from the Nazis. I could never ask you to be less than you are, and I will always support you."

Georg looked down at the amazing woman in his arms and started to laugh, a low deep chuckle, out of sheer happiness and amazement. He picked her up by the waist and spun her around, causing Maria to laugh with happiness as well.

Nothing had really changed, but they were united again. They understood each other again, and it was good.

"I still don't know what I did to deserve you," he said and kissed the tip of her nose."

"It must have been something good, on both our parts," Maria reminded him as she pulled him in for a kiss that that took both of their breaths away. With one hand she began to stroke his face and he reached up with one of his hands to stroke her hair back as they held each other even closer.

"I think what we've had is a failure to communicate," he said as they broke apart. "I'm so sorry I've made you feel left out. I'm so sorry I've made you feel of less value to this family than you are."

"And I'm sorry that I've let you think I wouldn't support you. I love all of you, including the naval hero who fights for what he believes in."

Georg smiled down at his wife. "And I love all of you too. Including the mountain bred farm girl who helped this family survive long enough to find a home. I promise to include you from now on. We will find a way to make it work."

As they kissed again the passion that had been suppressed over the last few weeks started to take over. Georg ran his hands up and down the back of her body and finally whispered in her ear "I think we'd better take this inside."

Maria smiled in agreement and took his hand. The pair walked quietly but quickly into the house and up the stairs into their bedroom.

ooooooooooooooooooo

Upstairs in her garret room, alone in the dark, Liesl leaned her head against her window in relief. She felt awkward about having watched her parents share such an intimate moment, but her window looked right over that section of the back yard.

She had been acutely aware of the tension and unhappiness between her parents. That, more than anything that had happened so far, had made her doubt the power of love. If her parents, who had been so obviously in love, could become so unhappy so quickly, why should she open her heart to any boy ever again?

Though she had no idea what it was about, they had obviously had a difficult conversation, but had come to a level of understanding again. And they were once again acting as in love as they had ever been.

Maybe it was possible to be in love but still have problems and then eventually work them out. That had never occurred to her before. She had thought that once she was really and truly in love everything would be happy and nothing would ever be a problem. This glimpse of real love seemed much more realistic. People could have problems and still love each other and that love could prevail.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling more hope than she had since her encounter with Rolf in the Abbey.

It would also be much easier on her all her siblings to have their parents happy again. She sank down into her bed feeling happier than she had in days.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

The next morning Georg was sitting in his office with his feet on the desk. He couldn't stop humming and knew that he had a rather silly smile on his face.

Maria was with the older children, giving them a lesson in reading music. Though they had learned to sing and play a few instruments they had only learned by ear so far. He was happy they were learning the principles of reading and writing music. Music was so mathematical, based on a set of fixed principles. Maybe the children who didn't think they were good at math would discover that they really weren't so bad.

There was still a lot to work out between him and Maria, but they were communicating – they were close again – and that was the most important thing. He was confident that together they could handle anything.

He was startled out of his reverie by a knock on the door. He could tell it wasn't Maria and was confused as to who it could be. He swung his feet off the desk and turned so that he was facing the door.

"Come in," he said and was mildly surprised to see Johanna enter.

"Excuse me, Sir," she said a little anxiously and Georg made a mental note to ask Maria to work with her on her confidence. "There is a gentleman here to see you. He says that he is a friend of a friend."

Georg's mouth went dry as he thought of those implications. Could Herr Zeller have found him through a contact in Switzerland?

"Then he said to say that he is friends with a very charming sponge," Johanna continued. "He said to tell you those exact words."

**To be continued ….**


	21. Part 2, Chap 5, Three Violins

**A/N: I still do not own any of TSOM. **

**And I want to give a big thank you for all of the reviews and encouragement. Special thanks to missqueenlillian, Dr. Cason, von F, pepperdennis, Shahrazad63, foreverliesl28, Trapper II, Bluebird 88, ForeverJulie, Maxisback, and FarmerLiz. **

**Your reviews and encouragement help me keep writing. **

Georg stood up while Johanna ushered Ernst Schmidt, as he introduced himself, into his office.

A hundred thoughts rushed through Georg's head. This was Max's friend – how had he known where to find him? How was Max? Surely this Ernst would be able to tell him about Max. Was Max in danger? If Ernst could find him here in Dorfli, who else might be able to find him? What was so important that Max had to find a way to contact him? Could he trust Ernst? If so, how far could he trust him?

All of these thoughts, and more, raced through his head but his face remained impassive, even welcoming.

As Ernst Schmidt sat on the other side of the desk Georg quickly sized up this new man. He was shorter and a little more rotund than either Georg or Max, and obviously older as his hair was all silver. However, Georg thought he could see a friendliness and honesty in Ernst's eyes. 'Well, let's see what he has to say for himself,' Georg thought.

"So, Herr Schmidt, how do you know my old friend, Max?" Georg finally asked.

"Ernst, please" the older man responded. Georg nodded but did not offer the same first name basis. He wanted to be on his guard, and he wanted this man – even if he was a friend of Max – to know he was on his guard.

Ernst seemed unfazed. "I, like Max, am an Impresario," he responded. "I seek out musicians of talent …"

"And exploit them?" Georg asked with a wry smile as he allowed himself to feel, for a moment, how much he missed his old friend.

"I would prefer to say that I help them. I help them find the credit and acclaim that they deserve."

"I see," said Georg, though he didn't really see much at all about why this man was here yet. That explained how Ernst knew Max, but not why he was here.

"I, uh, understand that your whole family is quite talented, quite a find. That you have seven children, all of whom sing beautifully, and that your wife is a very talented musician who sings extraordinarily well," Ernst continued.

For a moment Georg was shocked and then livid. This was why Max had sought him out and sent a friend looking for him? To continue to try to make money off his family? The anger surged in him even more strongly. The time for exploitation, even in good humor, had past. He had barely gotten his family to safety, Europe was starting to boil around them, and God only knew what was happening in Austria. And yet Max was, as ever, thinking of himself and what he could make off of the Von Trapps.

Still, Georg's face remained impassive, if slightly more steely. "I'm afraid that Herr Detweiler misled you," he explained. "My family does not sing in public. We did once when our lives and our freedom was at stake. We will not do so again. Not for Max and certainly not for you. You can tell Max that at least has not changed."

Ernst remained seated and undisturbed, though Georg had risen to his feet to show him out.

"I'm sorry to have started off badly, Captain," he said calmly. "That is not why I am here. I merely said that as a way of introduction."

Georg felt the anger start to drain slowly out of him but some confusion set in. When would this man explain himself?" He sat back down. It was unsettling to be called "Captain" again. Only Maria did so now, and it was either in jest or anger. Whoever Ernst Schmidt was, and whatever he wanted, he knew far too much for Georg to feel comfortable.

Georg sat back down and faced Ernst. He folded his hands on his desk and leaned forward slightly. "Then why are you here?" he asked. There was still steel in his voice, and now an edge of impatience.

Ernst still seemed unfazed and met Georg's gaze directly. "In short, Captain, I am looking for a man of courage, of decency, and of action. I'm looking for a man who still cares about doing what's right and ideally a man who has some money and knows how to get things done. I'm hoping you might be that man."

Now Georg was interested. "Go on," he requested.

Ernst nodded briefly. "There are three musicians – violinists – who we would very much like to get out of Austria. They have not made any friends with the Anschluss. We are concerned for their safety should they stay in Austria." Here Ernst paused.

"Go on," Georg requested again.

"Two are Jews," Ernst continued, "and Austria has become a very unfriendly place for Jews. One was an outspoken opponent of the Anschluss and thus has made a rather bad enemy of the new German regime. We are worried that if they were to stay in Austria much longer things could get rather … uncomfortable … for them."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Georg asked, more sharply than he had intended. Hearing of non-militants being threatened in his homeland was confirmation of what he had been dreading.

"We are trying to get the necessary papers for them so that they can leave the country under different names. We should have that in a few days. They'll take the train to the Swiss border. The problem is that the Germans are tightening the borders more and more every day, especially against Jews and political agitators. What we need is someone who can meet them, usher them safely into Switzerland, and give them a place to hide for a few days while the Germans realize that they are missing. Someone who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty in case something goes wrong.

I have a friend in the Swiss government who will help them with the papers they need to get out of Switzerland into France and then unto a ship bound for America. I need someone to be the missing link here in Switzerland. Someone who wants to help good people stay safe. Someone who isn't of a little action. Our mutual friend described you as exactly such a man. I'm here in hopes that you might be our missing link, that you might help these three people get out of Austria while it's still possible."

Now Ernst sat back in his chair. "I'm not going to lie to you, Captain Von Trapp. Things are getting very bad in Austria these days. It's not uncommon for people to go missing, or to be taken for questioning and not come back. It's not the same country that you left."

Georg nodded his understanding. Ernst thought he could see a look of grief flicker across the Captain's eyes, but it was gone so quickly he couldn't be sure.

"I know that you have a family to think of," Ernst continued after a minute, "but I do hope you're our man. Things may not go entirely smoothly. I need someone who has your kind of war experience and can help me think through every contingency."

Georg felt the blood start to rush through his veins in a way that he hadn't felt since he had finally gotten his family safe and settled. Help three good, innocent people out of Austria and away from the Nazis? This would allow him to do something about what was happening – to strike a blow at the Nazi party, even if it was only a small one.

"As far as I'm concerned," he finally responded, "the more people we can spare from the Nazis, the better."

The two men locked eyes and for that moment both felt that they could trust the other completely.

Georg finally sat back in his chair again. "But I find it hard to believe that my friend Max is involved in something so … honorable."

"Believe it, Captain," Ernst assured him. "Max has found that he does have a country after all. He has also found that he has a conscience. Unfortunately for him, he seems to have discovered this at the worst possible time. But I believe that's why he discovered it. He's seen what's happening to the Jews. He's seen what's happening to everyone who has been in any way opposed to the German regime. It's disgusting, it's humiliating, and it makes one doubt his faith in our fellow man."

"And so," Ernst continued again, "he reached out to me. Neither Germany nor Austria are friendly places for musicians – true musicians – these days."

"Why not?" Georg asked, not quite following Ernst.

"I think it's because Hitler styles himself as, shall we say, a musical appreciator with a discerning ear? Unfortunately his ear is not so discerning and only seems to appreciate music by German composers, and then only those who praise him. True musicians, those who love their art and don't want to compromise it, are starting to find themselves in a very uncomfortable situation."

Georg let out a long, angry breath. Music was the very heartbeat of Austria. If Hitler was threatening to challenge even that then this "Fuehrer" was even more insane and dangerous than he had realized.

"So Max contacted you?" he finally asked.

"Yes," Ernst replied. "He's worried about all of his musicians, but particularly these three at the moment. Given their histories …" he trailed off.

"Yes, I understand," Georg replied. He gave Ernst a wry smile. "I always knew Max was a better man that he let on." He felt an almost paternal pride for his fun-loving friend.

"Yes, he is," Ernst agreed. "He's put himself at considerable danger to help these people. Forging papers is a deadly crime in Austria these days. And given his connection with your family and your rather public defection, if more of his friends or clients disappear it will shed a dangerous amount of suspicion on him. His talent for making friends and getting along with people is the one thing that will probably save his neck through this."

Now Ernst gave Georg a wry smile. "He seems to be able to make anybody believe that he likes them, or that he thinks they have talent. Even if he is lying through his teeth."

"That's Max," Georg agreed. "Now, how do you need me to help you get these three … violinists, was it? … out of Austria?"

"You're in, Captain?" Ernst asked hopefully.

"I'm your man," Georg assured him. "After all, I can't very well let Max become heroic without helping him out, can I?" He reached his hand across the table, offering it to Ernst who clasped it in both of his. Ernst looked down for a moment and Georg could see the incredible relief in his eyes.

After they had shaken hands and assessed each other again, Ernst began to look distinctly uncomfortable. 'How much worse can this get?' Georg wondered to himself.

"I'm afraid one of the first things to do, Captain, is cover our tracks. Considering that your family is musical it would probably be a good idea to let me represent you – to sing publicly as a family – with me as your agent. It would explain our acquaintance and my visits."

Georg closed his eyes and sighed. He was never going to escape this, was he? He seemed destined to have a family on the stage. Ernst was right, it made complete sense. But damnit! He was always getting maneuvered into a position that he was adamantly against.

"I know how you feel about this, Captain," Ernst said apologetically. "And I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think it was necessary."

"Small scale," Georg said, cutting him off.

"Excuse me?" Ernst asked.

"Whatever we do, it needs to be on a small scale. And not the entire family at one time. It would garner too much attention. A stage name might be wise as well. Having won the Austrian National Folk Festival, right before our defection, shed too much light on us as a family of musicians. The Swiss officials know who we are, we are legally registered, but I'm still more comfortable keeping a low profile."

"Of course, I completely understand, Captain. I'll start looking for suitably small venue for your family – or part of your family – to debut."

"My wife, as you heard, is extraordinary," Georg added. "I'd like her to be involved in whatever decisions we make as far as performing goes. And by the way, call me Georg," he added as an afterthought. "Now, where exactly are you expecting these musicians to arrive, and under what names?"

Georg reached into one of his drawers and pulled out a map of the Swiss/Austrian border and surrounding territory. Ernst looked up at him in surprise. "I've been trying to study Swiss defensive capabilities," Georg explained. "Although I'm a naval man, myself, Switzerland is unfortunately land bound so I thought I should start understanding the terrain."

"You really **are** our man," Ernst said with more confidence than he had felt since he had first received word from Max, and he stood up to study the map better.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

After Ernst had left, Georg stood and looked out at the mountains for several minutes. Then he began to pace back and forth across his office.

The plan was good – as good as he could possibly make it. The three violinists would arrive in Switzerland late in the day, leave the train station and would wait for him at The Two Goats, the nearby tavern. They'd still be seen, but it was not uncommon for travelers to stop there once they had arrived in Switzerland, so it wouldn't be suspicious. Georg would come to collect them under the cover of night – neither he nor Ernst wanted anyone who might be affiliated with the Nazi party to potentially recognize his face.

Georg would have to count on them recognizing him by Max's description. But code words were set so that they could confirm each other's identity. They would follow him out of the bar, duck into his car and keep their heads down so that it would look as though he was driving alone. For the next several days they would stay hidden at the Von Trapp house, only going outside to the back yard where they wouldn't be seen. Ideally, no one in the town would know they were there.

When their papers were ready for them to leave Switzerland for France, Ernst would come to Dorfli with those papers under the guise of having found a musical engagement for the Von Trapps in Geneva. Georg and a few of the children would then drive to Geneva with the three musicians. While they were scouting out, and possibly auditioning for their performance, the three musicians would switch names and identities and board a ship headed across Lake Geneva for France. After that they would be in the hands of another link in the chain. Who that would be, Georg didn't know. It was better – safer – that he didn't know. He couldn't see them safely through France and bound for America, this was all could do. But getting them out of Austria and into Switzerland was one of the more dangerous jobs. If he could manage this stage of the escape, Georg reasoned, that would be enough.

All he had to do now was to wait for Ernst's signal. Ernst had promised him that on the day the three musicians were to arrive in Switzerland he would send Georg a signal. An unmistakable signal.

Georg sat back down and spent the better part of an hour studying his maps. He studied where the train would come into Switzerland, the road he would travel getting to and from the train station, and the road he would travel to Geneva.

Finally satisfied that he knew the terrain as well as possible, Georg left his office in search of his wife. He thanked God that he and Maria had finally reconciled before Ernst had shown up at his door with this request. Georg knew that there was no way he could pull this off without Maria, and the mission would be doomed if they were still waging their silent war. The timing had been perfect – just one more reason for him to believe that God was directing their paths.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Georg found Maria and all of the children in the largest sitting room. They were being remarkably quiet, considering that all eight of them were together. He smiled as he saw that all of the children were reading their assigned texts, and that Maria had started to read Mein Kampf. It was a boring, dreadful book but still an excellent look into Hitler's mind.

As he entered the room, Maria and several of the children looked up at him. He had eyes only for Maria, however, and she met his gaze directly, smiling at him. It was so good to see a smile reach her eyes again. Those beautiful eyes.

He smiled at her for a few more moments and then turned his eyes away to look at the rest of the room. "Children, I need to talk to your mother for a little while. Please just keep reading."

As Maria and the Captain walked out of the sitting room he couldn't resist stopping to hug her. She leaned into him, feeling herself melt a little in his embrace. It was so good to be close to him again. The very smell of him was slightly intoxicating.

"What is it?" she finally asked, her head resting on her shoulder.

"I just received a visitor," he explained, kissing the top of her head. "A friend of Max's no less."

Maria stood straight up in surprise. "Max!" she exclaimed in surprise and delight. "How is he?"

"He seems to be … remarkable," Georg replied. "And I must talk to you, but not here.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

A few minutes later Georg and Maria were in his office, behind closed doors. Georg found he couldn't keep his hands off Maria, despite the circumstances, and the feeling seemed to be mutual. So rather than standing or sitting on opposite sides of the desk, he sat down and pulled her into his lap, holding her close. She was so beautiful and irresistible that all thoughts of Max or Austrian musicians fled his mind as he began to kiss her neck – light soft kisses that made shivers run up and down Maria's spine.

For her part, Maria was so glad to be close to her husband again that she closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto his shoulder. She hadn't felt shivers like these in weeks and it felt divine.

It seemed as if all conversation about the earlier events of the day would be forgotten until Maria opened her eyes slightly and saw the maps spread across his desk.

"Darling?" she managed to ask through the shivers and the kisses.

"Mmmmm?" was all the response he could manage.

"What does Max have to do with maps?"

Reluctantly Georg came back to the present and stopped kissing her neck. Maria regretted the interruption but curiosity was getting the best of her. Still, Georg held her on his lap, keeping her close. He stroked her hair back and kissed her tenderly on the mouth before beginning to explain.

Briefly he told her about Ernst's visit, Max's musicians and the role that he had agreed to play.

Maria was aghast. "Musicians are no longer safe in Austria?" she asked, scarcely believing what she had heard.

"It seems that some aren't," Georg explained. "The Nazis view music as a political tool as much as they do many other aspects of culture.They call what they don't like 'Entartete Kunst.' They believe that any kind of that 'degenerate art' saps the spirit.Any artist on the wrong side of that divide could be extremely threatened. Two of these violinists are Jews, and one has apparently been politically subversive. They need to get out of Austria while it's still possible. I've been called on to help them, and I feel I must do so, but I also know that I can't do it without you."

"Oh, darling," Maria began. She could feel her heart swelling with pride as she looked at her husband and felt his strong arms wrapped so protectively around her. "God has brought you to this time and place to help these people. I believe that with all my heart, and I will help you as best as I can." She leaned against him, feeling that she had never loved him more. "The Reverend Mother always said that when the Lord closes a door, someway he opens a window."

Georg's lips twitched in amusement and happiness. There was something so secure about knowing what your wife was going to say before she said it. He knew her and loved the familiarity they were finally sharing.

"These musicians – violinists –," Maria continued, "You are their window in a world where doors are closing all around them. I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"I prayed that you would say that," Georg said as he continued to stroke her hair back. "We need to keep these musicians safe and hidden in our home for a few days until they can get to France. In the meantime I need to figure out what we are going to do about the servants – how we will explain the presence of these three fugitives. I also need you to pull together some of the children – some, not all – to give a performance in Geneva while the violinists board a ship to France. I need you as my partner in this – to help manage the servants and children while these three people are in our home and to provide the cover for helping them leave the country."

Maria felt as though her heart would burst. She was so proud of her husband and how he had managed to find a way to keep fighting for his ideals even in this small town. She was also proud of Max and how he was standing against those who were persecuting good men and women. And she felt something that she hadn't felt in weeks – she was **needed**. Once again, she was partnering with her husband to stand for their beliefs and to fight against the forces of oppression. He needed her, and he recognized that. She ran her fingers down the side of his face and kissed him tenderly yet fully on the mouth. He tightened his arms around her in response, bringing her in closer.

When they finally broke apart, both a little breathless, Maria looked at Georg and this time it was she who ran his fingers through his hair, pausing over the new grey. "Darling," she began after a few more minutes, "these are professional musicians, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are," he affirmed and then added with a smile "and represented by Max."

"Well, couldn't we say – at least to the Anna, Johanna and Karolina – that they are friends from Austria and here to give the children some music lessons? I think we can count on their discretion. They've been with us for over a month and have yet to ask a single question about their background. And it would look awfully suspicious if we gave them all several days' vacation without any warning."

Georg nodded thoughtfully. "I haven't been able to think of a perfect solution on how to deal with the servants. I think that is probably as good an answer as any."

"And as for the children…" here Maria trailed off. "For those who are curious – who are aware that something more is going on – I think we can trust them with the truth," she finally continued. "As for the others, the younger ones in particular, I think we can tell them the same thing that we tell the servants."

"They'll be delighted to hear that you've relented a little about singing in public," Maria added, unable to hide a slightly triumphant smile. "I'll just explain that you'll only allow it in small groups, and that those groups will change."

Georg closed his eyes and shook his head. "That seems to be a battle I am destined to keep losing."

Maria had no verbal response. She just leaned forward and kissed him again, hard. He reached around her and twisted his fingers through her hair, finally breaking away enough to whisper breathlessly "Is it too early to send the children to bed?"

"Considering that it's two in the afternoon," Maria responded just as breathlessly, "I think so."

"Well, alright," he almost growled in response. "But I think they all need as early a bedtime as possible."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Over the next few days Georg and Maria worked to prepare for the three visitors and waited for the signal that Ernst had promised would be unmistakable. They each longed to talk to Max and hear directly from him what had been happening in Austria since they left, but they knew it was too dangerous for him and for them to contact him directly.

Together they decided that a surprise visit in the middle of the night would not be a good plan, so they told Anna, Johanna and Karolina that they were expecting some old friends to visit in a few days – friends who would be giving their children more advanced music lessons. They impressed upon their three helpers that this visit was to be kept quiet because, they explained, some people in Austria might be unhappy that they had come for a visit and they didn't want to upset anybody. To Marta, Gretl and Kurt they gave a similar explanation: that some people were coming to give them more advanced music lessons, but they must remain very quiet about the fact that they had visitors or it might help the Nazis to find their father. Only Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa and Brigitta knew the truth.

Hasty beds on cots were prepared. Marta and Gretl were told they'd have to share a bed. The protests were vehement but short lived as neither particularly minded the idea, as long as it was only for a few days.

Finally, four days after Ernst had come to visit them they did receive an unmistakable signal. A courier arrived with three violins. Two were sized for an adolescent or adult and one for a small child. The note from Ernst simply read "To help you in your musical studies. I'll be there in a few days to arrange your upcoming performance."

To be continued ….


	22. Part 2, Chap 6, The Hornets' Nest

Maria walked through her house, feeling the unusual silence pressing down on her like a tangible weight

**A/N: I apologize for the long delay in updating and I would like to thank my readers for not giving up on the story. It's back on track and there will be more chapters to come! **

Maria walked through her house, feeling the unusual silence pressing down on her like a tangible weight. Or was that just concern for Georg? It was impossible for her to tell the difference. The concern and the silence were part of the same occurrence: the fact that Georg was heading out to the Swiss border to collect three refugees.

She trusted him – had faith that he would handle this mission brilliantly, collect the three violinists, and not be seen or caught during the process. If there was anyone she would trust to handle a situation like this it was her husband. After all, he had managed the safe escape of their entire family from Austria into Switzerland and done it brilliantly. Maria reminded herself that the escape of nine people through the Alps, some of them young children, was nothing short of miraculous. She credited God with so much of the success of that escape, but it was God who had ensured that Georg had led them.

Still, as much as she trusted God and trusted Georg, she had been at his side for most of that journey. She had known what was happening. She hadn't had to stay at home and wait, unknowing, as she did now.

And so unable to sit and relax or focus on a task, Maria found herself walking through the house, pacing the halls and wondering what was happening.

The older children knew what their father was doing. They had all retired quietly to their rooms after dinner once he had left. Maria supposed they were feeling a similar mixture of the trust and anxiety that she was experiencing. The mood was pervasive through the house. Even the younger children had picked up on it, though they didn't know what was happening. And so, even though it wasn't quite 8 o'clock at night, the house was completely quiet. No playing, no shouts, no bickering, no singing. None of the usual cacophony. It was just eerily quiet, and Maria found herself wandering through the halls, unsure of what to do.

All three of the beds had been prepared. There was extra food ready. Everything seemed ready. She had thought of rehearsing them for their upcoming concert in Geneva, but didn't want to force it just to occupy herself. Georg would be back soon, she told herself, and then things would return to normal. There would be plenty of time to practice. For now all there was to do was pray.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Georg felt the adrenaline pumping through him and the blood rushing through his veins for the first time in two or more months. In his own way, he was approaching the front lines again and actually doing something to help a few of the decent people of Austria.

Every sense of his was heightened. Although this should be a simple, almost routine mission, Georg had learned that those "routine" missions were the ones where things could go the most wrong. If you let your guard down - if you think for one moment that it will be easy – that's when you make mistakes. He had learned that the hard way during the war. He wasn't going to make any mistakes, there was too much to lose.

The different possible scenarios kept running through his head. If the violinists weren't there, how long would he wait? How far would he go to look for them? If he was seen or recognized by the wrong people, how would he shake them off? If the violinists had been found out and were being watched, and then he was seen as helping them escape… that was the worst scenario in his opinion. The violinists would the be his responsibility and he'd have to then get them out of the country without compromising his family, and then probably find a new place to hide.

The problem was that he didn't know how heavily guarded the train station, or nearby establishments, would be at this hour. How well lit would the station be? He was walking into a situation with bad intelligence – or at least not enough intelligence. He sat up a little straighter in his seat, holding the wheel of the car. The weight of Rolfe's gun, tucked into his pants, pressed against his back. That was the most reassuring aspect of this whole trip. His "insurance".

Georg was acutely aware that Maria and the children were also in the most vulnerable position yet. If he had accepted the original commission they would have been taken care of. From the moment he had refused it and they had tried to escape, his entire family had been vulnerable. If something were to happen to him now, who would protect them? Would Ernst Schmidt, an impresario, come to their aid? Would Max, deep in Austria? Would anybody even know? They were, all of them, refugees. If he were to be found out, it would leave an arrow pointing to them. There would be little, if anything, he could do.

He had felt compelled to help these people, compelled to do something of use, but he knew there might be consequences. Still, he straightened his hands on the wheel and kept driving. The station couldn't be too far away now.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Unsure what else to do with herself, Maria decided to check on the children. She first climbed the stairs all the way up to Liesl's room. She knocked softly and entered as she heard a response.

Liesl was sitting on her bed looking out the window, as usual. As soon as Maria entered the room she was glad she had come. Liesl looked somehow smaller, and a little frightened.

Maria walked up to her, kissed Liesl on the top of her head and sat down next to her without saying anything. Finally Liesl broke the silence. "Is Father going to be okay?" she asked. "I know I should be proud of him, and I know that Father knows how to take care of himself better than anyone else, but I can't help but feel a little scared," Liesl admitted.

"I can't think of a better man for this job than your father," Maria answered. Maria's need to reassure Liesl filled her with a new level of confidence. "Just think of all he has done in his life. Think of how he got us out of Austria! If anyone can help a few refugees, it's the Captain, your father."

"That's true," Liesl agreed. "But I still feel better when he's here." She paused for a moment. "When did that happen? I used to think I was so grown up, that I didn't need Father, that I didn't need anyone. Now I just want him to come home as soon as possible."

Maria pulled her in for a hug. "I think," she said softly, "that you've gotten smarter. It's easy to feel confident and important when you're in the safety of the villa. You realize how small you are when you really begin to see that there's a whole world out there, and that world isn't necessarily friendly."

Maria realized that she was talking in part to herself so she turned to face Liesl. "I think you're just being smart," she reiterated. "And I trust your father completely to take care of us – and to take care of himself – no matter where he is." The two sat together in silence for several more minutes.

"My advice to you," Maria finally continued, "unless you're too OLD to listen to your mother," she added teasingly, "is to think about all of the things your father has done – big and small – to take care of you. To take care of all of us. And then do the same thing with God. Don't forget that your father is not alone in this journey."

Liesl nodded and then rested her head on Maria's shoulder. "Getting smarter isn't necessarily more fun," she finally said. "It's scarier."

"The world is a scary place right now," Maria replied. "And I'm so sorry this is the world you have to grow up in. But I know that God has a plan for you, and it will be beautiful."

She smoothed Liesl's hair back for a few minutes in an innately maternal gesture. Eventually she stood back up, saying "I'm going to check on Friedrich and Kurt."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Even from a distance Georg could see that the train station was far too bright. He cursed silently to himself. Either he had been misinformed and they weren't on the last train, or the officials kept the lights on all night. Whatever the reason, he wouldn't have as much of a cover of darkness as he had expected. He hit his hands on the wheel and then said a short prayer that the violinists were already there. Waiting so close to the border, even in a local pub, did not seem like a good idea.

As he got closer he assessed the scene: a station with outdoor lights, a few cars and plenty of barbed wire enclosing the station. He could see that the Two Goats was on the left, just down the road. The lights were on and there were people in there. That at least was going according to plan, as long as there were three Austrian violinists in there waiting for him.

Georg thought for a moment how nervous these three violinists must be. Fleeing Austria was terrifying for him, at times he hadn't known if they would make it, and yet he had years of war and Naval experience backing him up. These three people, they were just musicians. Not one of them probably knew how to shoot a gun, he mused to himself.

He hoped once again that they had gotten through the border undetected and that their forged papers had worked.

Georg slowly pulled the car up towards the Two Goats. If all had gone well, the violinists would be there and he wouldn't have to go into the well-lit train station.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria walked quietly into Friedrich and Kurt's room. At this point it was bed time for the children, and past bed time for the younger ones. Still, the silence felt as oppressive as it had earlier, and she felt compelled to check on all of the children.

Kurt was in his bed, snoring softly, but Friedrich was still awake and sitting at his desk, surrounded by paper. He looked up as she came in. Friedrich had grown so tall in the last few months, and was looking at her with eyes that seemed so haunted they broke her heart.

She walked over to him and put one arm around his shoulders, looking down at his papers. They were covered with drawings – precise lines, angles, and dotted sections of circles. She realized that his desk was covered with blueprints, though whether they were of the gazebo or of another idea, Maria didn't know. But he certainly seemed to have been captivated by this. 'And why not?' Maria mused to herself, he was artistic and intelligent. Friedrich might make a good architect if some other pursuit didn't grab hold of his interest and imagination.

Maria bent down, tracing some of the lines with her finger. They were so straight. She didn't think she could draw anything that straight and precise. She smiled, despite the oppressive mood in the air. One of the wonders of having children was that they never ceased to surprise and amaze her. Here was one more example.

Friedrich sighed and she turned her attention back to him. She longed to ruffle his hair, but he seemed too old for that. No, not too old, that wasn't quite the right word. Too grown up? Too experienced? Too sad? Whether she liked it or not he was becoming a man as much by experience as by age, and there was very little she could do about it.

Maria took her thumb and traced the shadows under his eyes. It was a gesture that was so simple, yet so intimate. Friedrich never stopped looking at her. "Why these eyes?" she asked him, quietly. "What's wrong?"

He blew out a frustrated burst of air – Maria could tell he would probably have jumped up, pounded the table, or done something a little more dramatic, and a little angrier, if he weren't trying to be quiet for Kurt.

"I should be with him," Friedrich whispered, an intensity in his voice that Maria had never heard before. "He's out there facing God knows what" – here Maria winced at his expression – "God knows what," Friedrich repeated emphatically, "to rescue three refugees. And I'm here, safe in our house, unable to do anything to help him. I should be there. I should be helping him."

Maria could tell that trying to appease Friedrich, trying to talk to him as a child wasn't going to work. Not anymore. As much as she didn't want to, she had to talk to him like a man, reason with him like a man. She prayed for a moment to find the right words and in that moment noted that she spent more time praying these days – as a wife and a mother – than she had as a postulant at the Abbey. There was nothing like love and being responsible for the people you loved, to bring you to your knees, in spirit if not in body.

"Friedrich," she began, "your father is the most capable, brilliant man I have ever met. He is more than able to pick up three musicians from a railway pub and bring them home again. If he weren't, he wouldn't have agreed to do it. Or he would have asked for your help, as he did when we were in the Alps."

Friedrich turned his face away in frustration, but Maria cupped his face in her hand and turned it back to her. "He would have," she asserted again. "This is a mission he can handle by himself. The only thing that would complicate it for him would be if one of us were with him, because then he wouldn't be able to focus as clearly on what he needs to do – he'd be too worried about protecting us. Right now, you are helping him most by staying at home where he knows you are safe."

Friedrich stared back at her, still frustrated and not completely convinced. Maria met his look openly and honestly, feeling his helplessness and empathizing, but not backing down.

The moment was unexpectedly broken by Kurt, clearly and emphatically saying "But I'm still sleeping!" They both looked over at him and saw that he was still sound asleep, just talking in his sleep.

"Oh, dear," Maria whispered, smothering some laughter. "Does he do that often?"

Friedrich just nodded an affirmative while trying to smother his own laughter.

Soon the two of them were laughing as silently as they could, and Maria began to hold on to Friedrich's shoulders for support. The laughter, smothered as it was, was a relief for both of them and they laughed together for several minutes until Maria's sides began to hurt. It was a good hurt.

When they finally were both able to stop laughing, Maria took his face in her hand once more. "When he needs you, he will ask you," she promised him, and prayed once more that she wouldn't live to regret it. "Now try to get some sleep, okay? Kurt certainly is." That just made both of them laugh again, but it was short lived. In a few moments Friedrich had promised her that he would go to bed, and she left the room.

Once the door closed behind her Maria let out a heavy exhale. Of all the children, Friedrich scared her the most. He was chafing at the bonds that still kept him a boy, ready to be a man. Growing up and needing to prove yourself was difficult for anyone, but growing up while a war was brewing was a recipe for … she didn't even want to think about the possibilities.

"Dear Lord, please keep him safe," she prayed. She wasn't sure, though, whether she was praying for Friedrich, Georg, or both.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The more the lights shone down on the railway station parking lot, the more Georg regretted his decision to do this. He had no wish to stir up a possible hornets' nest. But there were quite probably three refugees waiting for him in the pub. As soon as they had crossed the border they had become his responsibility, and would remain his responsibility until he had gotten them safely to Geneva. Georg was not a man to back away from responsibility. He had to do this.

He pulled into the mostly empty parking lot. There seven other cars in the lot. A quick surveillance told him that four of the cars had Swiss plates and three had German plates. He parked a comfortable distance away from the German cars, got out and quietly closed his car door. He didn't know who – if anyone – might be hiding in the shadows and didn't want to make any noise.

Georg walked as casually as he could towards the Two Goats – now on his right. A man whose face was still shadowed walked out of the Two Goats and started to walk to the station. Georg's blood ran cold as he recognized the uniform the man was wearing from his days during the Anschluss.'Keep walking,' Georg told himself. 'I'm just a local man out for a drink at the nearby pub. I may not like the Third Reich but they have nothing to do with me.'

Then something stopped him in his tracks. There was something eerily familiar about this man. As the light the officer's face, Georg realized he had seen this man before. The Aryan features, the smug expression, the jaw. Even seeing him in the dark with lights on his face was familiar.

Georg was still stopped. The man had seen him too, and until Georg had recognized – or at least sized up – this Nazi officer, he was at a disadvantage.

Suddenly Georg placed him. On that dark and fateful night, while he, Max and his family had been pushing the car out of the villa so as not to turn the motor on, he had heard a crunch of feet, car lights shining on them, and then he was face to face with Herr Zeller. But Herr Zeller had not been alone. How many officers had he had with him? Two cars full of soldiers, and one standing directly behind him.

And then Georg remembered the precise moment that he had seen this man before…

"Something wrong with your car, Captain?" Herr Zeller had asked, slightly sarcastically.

"Yes, as a matter of fact we couldn't get it started," Georg had responded, lying through his teeth and knowing that Herr Zeller knew he was lying.

"Kobb, fix Captain Von Trapp's car so that it may start," Herr Zeller had ordered. And a smug, Aryan man had stepped forward, gotten in Georg's own car and turned it on without a problem. He stepped back looking even more smug, if that were possible.

"Excellent car, Captain" …

Today, in the present, at a railway station on the Swiss border, Captain Von Trapp had come face to face with Kobb, and as the smug expression turned to surprise and then recognition, years of training took over.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria gently rapped on Louisa and Brigitta's door and opened it to find both girls, each in her own bed, sleepy but awake. It seemed like they had been talking.

"May I come in?" Maria asked.

"Of course," Louisa responded. Brigitta didn't say anything, she just looked at Maria with her dark eyes.

Maria sat on the side of Louisa's bed, and for a few minutes no one said anything. Finally, Maria broke the silence. "What were you girls talking about?" she asked. "Anything I can hear?" she asked again, as lightly as she could.

"Father," Louisa responded.

"What about him?" Maria asked, positioning herself at the foot of Louisa's bed so that she could look at both of her daughters at the same time."

"We agree with what he's doing," Brigitta told her.

"So do I," Maria agreed. "But why do you?" She was always interested in hearing what they were thinking.

"Well," Louisa began, choosing her words carefully, "these people, the violinists, they're kind of like us, aren't they? They loved living in Austria when it was just Austria, but now that it's … more than Austria, they don't want to live there anymore. We think it's wrong for people to be forced to live in a country they don't want to live in anymore. So we're glad Father is helping them."

Maria smiled at her two middle daughters. "I'm sure that he knows that and appreciates it," she told them. "But you know," she continued after a pause, "it's a little more serious than them not wanting to live there anymore. The new government is making it very difficult for people to live there if they disagree with the government over … just about anything."

"What do you mean, 'disagree with the government'?" Brigitta asked.

"Well, doing things that the government doesn't like, just as your father didn't want to fight for them. Things like that," Maria explained.

"What other things?" Brigitta asked.

"Oh, darling, I don't know because I'm not there," Maria responded. "But as I understand it, even little things, such as playing the wrong type of music."

"The wrong type of music?!" Louisa asked, horrified, sitting up while she spoke.

Maria instantly regretted explaining this further, and specifically regretted that example. Yet it disturbed her all the more that Brigitta didn't seem that surprised.

"Well, remember, I'm not there, so I don't really know. But I do know that things were getting very difficult for these musicians, and that's why it's so important that your father help them leave."

Maria moved up a little on Louisa's bed, and began to stroke her hair back, trying to calm her down. "But we're here, and we're safe," she reassured Louisa. "Your father is going to help as many people as he can, but he's going to make sure that nothing ever happens to you … to us."

Louisa really was very sleepy and soon had started to snuggled back down into her bed.

Very softly, very gently, Maria began to sing the soprano part from the Evening Prayer from Hansel und Gretel, a song her mother had used to sing her to sleep, long ago:

"When at night I go to sleep  
Fourteen angels watch do keep  
Two my head are guarding  
Two my feet are guiding  
Two are on my right hand  
Two are on my left hand  
Two who warmly cover  
Two who o'er me hover  
Two to whom 'tis given

To guide my steps to Heaven

Sleeping gently than it seems

Heaven enters in my dreams

Angels hovering round me

Whispering they have found me

Strewing me with roses

While my soul reposes

Blessed guardian angel  
Keep me from all danger

God will not forsake me

When dawn at last shall wake me"

Louisa and Brigitta seemed to Maria to be sleeping, or at least close sleep. She kissed both girls on the forehead and slipped out of their room, praying that they would dream of angels and not danger, their father, or the Third Reich.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Georg had a moment to wish that he had some way to muffle the sound of his gun before he shot Kobb in the head. There was no other way, Kobb had recognized him and he couldn't risk letting him tell any of his superior officers where Captain Von Trapp was.

Killed at point blank range, Kobb fell to the ground. Knowing that the sound of his gun would have been heard, Georg hoisted Kobb over his shoulder and hurried to the shadows on the edge of the lot, quickly dumping the body and his jacket there.

There were enough oil spills and stains on the ground to camouflage the blood that was on the ground until morning, but the blood on his jacket would be seen.

Sure enough, as soon as he hurried back into the main part of the lot, another, unfamiliar German officer came out of the Two Goats. He slowed and stopped as he saw Georg.

"My apologies," Georg began. "I hope I didn't startle anyone. My car has an unfortunate tendency to backfire," he continued, gesturing to a different car with Swiss plates.

The SS officer narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You sound Austrian, not Swiss."

"I was," Georg explained, utterly calm. "It was a long time ago."

"Well," the officer began, lifting his chin with all of the arrogance of someone who was sure both that he was in control of the situation, and that he was morally right. "Surely you've heard of the Anchluss. We need all able-bodied men back to return home. You will return to Austria immediately and report to your Gauleiter. Which region are you from?"

"Vienna," Georg replied, still completely calm and almost friendly. But his mind was whirling. This officer must be partnered with Kobb and would begin looking for him shortly. Georg couldn't let that happen. And if this officer returned to his superiors with tales of an Austrian man living in Switzerland, how long would it be before he saw a picture of the infamous Captain Von Trapp and figured out where he was? His escape had been far too public.

"Geneva," the officer repeated, narrowing his eyes even more. "Kobb?" He suddenly called, moving away from Georg slightly in order to look around. "Where is that man? Kobb!"

Georg saw his hand reach for his whistle, but Georg's war trained hands were faster than this young, newly minted officer. Before he could blow the whistle Georg shot him in the head as well.

The officer's eyes opened wide in surprise as he slumped to the ground.

Georg ran back to Kobb's body to grab his already blood stained jacket and wrapped his hands in it, using it to grab this other officer's body and drag it under one of the German cars. Just as the blood was camouflaged in the dark, his body should be hidden there until morning. Then he went back for Kobb's body and pulled it under another German car.

There was bound to be serious trouble when the bodies were found. Two German officers shot on the Swiss side of the border would give the Germans even more reason to fortify the borders, and possibly begin to invade Switzerland. If the defection of the violinists were discovered and linked to the deaths, he might not be able to get them to Geneva and out of the country. As it was, their escape through Geneva had just been made infinitely more difficult.

Georg also knew that in the morning, once the bodies were discovered, they would be linked with the two gun shots heard. The last thing he could do now was go into the Two Goats and pick up the violinists. Walking in so close to the gun shots? His face would be linked with them. And so he walked far away, past the lot and the barbed wire. Finally he was in the grass and crouched down, hiding and waiting.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Maria watched the clock tick by she grew more nervous and also more relieved. Georg should be home soon with their three guests. Not long now and he'd be safely at home. All the same, a new and intense feeling of anxiety was creeping over her. She told herself that she was just being silly and that she just wanted him home. Everything was fine, he would soon be home.

Still, she couldn't resist creeping quietly into Marta and Gretel's room to check on them.

She smiled when she entered. For two girls who had been so opposed to sharing a bed a few days earlier, they were curled up together like angels. Marta's arm was across Gretel and Gretel's head was on Marta's shoulder. Maria knew they were both sound sleepers, but she wanted to be sure she didn't wake them. She kissed both of them gently on the forehead. Marta moved slightly in her sleep and said "Hi, Mother" in a very slurred voice. Maria froze, hoping she hadn't woken her. But after a few moments she was reassured that Marta had only been unconsciously aware of her presence. She put her hand to her heart, touched by the sight of them, and crept back out of the room to wait for Georg.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Georg was still crouched in the grass, wondering how much time had ticked by. Was it enough? No one else had come to investigate. Those most have been the only Nazis near here, and he could only imagine how terrified the musicians waiting for him in the Two Goats must be by now.

He watched the stars for a while, his old friends from his Naval days. Stars were so amazing. They held their position while the world revolved around them. They didn't care who was in power, who had been killed, or who had done the killing. They kept their course and offered direction to anyone who understood them.

Part of him was reeling from the fact that he had killed two men. It had been decades since he had taken a life.

Why exactly had he left Austria? Was it because he didn't want to go to war or because he didn't want to go to war for the Third Reich?

He quickly realized that his mind was playing tricks on him. He didn't want to go to war for the Germans. They stood for all he disagreed with. If he had to, he would go to war against them, even though it meant fighting against his fellow Austrians.

Still, to take two lives … It had been a long time.

It must have been at least an hour and a half now. Possibly two hours.

Georg rolled up his blood stained coat so that the blood was on the inside and wouldn't get anything else bloody and put it on the floor of his car. He pulled his shirt most of the way out of his pants, ruffled up his hair, and loosened his tie. He wished he had some brandy or whisky to add to the effect, but he'd have to do his best without it. With a vague and rather stupid expression on his face, he walked into the Two Goats, managing to stumble on his way in.

Georg walked directly to the bar – or as directly as he could, considering that he was staggering. He plunked down a coin and said, in a voice that was too loud and too careful to be sober, "Whisky."

The bar tender measured him up and asked him if he hadn't thought he'd had enough already.

"My money not good enough? Whisky!" Georg demanded even more loudly.

The bartender shrugged and poured him a shot of whisky.

Georg drank it quickly and then set his glass down heavily demanding more. He hoped that his slurred voice would hide any traces of an Austrian accent. Meanwhile he managed to look around the room. There were only a handful of people: a tall, thin man, sitting at the bar, trying not to look disgusted. There was an older man who seemed to have fallen asleep at the table, two women who looked more than a little nervous, and two men who Georg guessed were engineers both of whom seemed intent on drinking the other under the table.

After another whiskey Georg slid over to the tall, thin man at the bar. "Buy you a drink, friend?" he asked.

"I think you've had enough," the man responded, in a heavy Austrian accent. "And you're no friend of mine."

Georg could have gone weak with relief. Those were the code words: He was to offer to buy a man a drink and if rebuffed with the specific words "you're no friend of mine," then he'd know it was one of the Austrian violinists and the other two were here as well. But relieved as he was, he had to maintain his façade of drunkenness.

"Well, I can tell when I'm not wanted!" he announced, and stomped unsteadily out of the pub. Once he was out he straightened up and walked to the side of the lot, waiting.

Several minutes later, the two women walked out of the pub. Georg could tell that they were trying to be casual, though they weren't doing a good job of it. He hurried over to them and walked them to the side of the lot, silencing them as one of them tried to speak.

Together, the three of them waited for the man at the bar. Both women were shivering. They had warm cloaks on so Georg guessed that they were more frightened than cold.

Eventually, the man from the bar walked out of the pub, and the three of them joined him. Georg ushered the three violinists silently into the car, making sure that his jacket was at his feet. He pulled out of the lot as quietly as he could and began the drive home.

Once in the car, everyone seemed to relax just a little.

"Oh, Herr Trapp," one of the women began, "Thank you so much! You can't imagine how frightened we were. And there were gun shots! It was terrifying!"

"A car, I'm sure," Georg tried to reassure her.

"Oh, do you really think so?" the other woman asked.

"Certainly," he assured her. "If it had been gunfire there would have been bodies and an investigation, wouldn't there?" Before she could respond he continued. "I apologize for my late arrival and drunken performance. It was … unavoidable."

"Did you have any trouble?" the man asked from the seat next to him.

"Nothing significant. Just taking precautions," Georg told them. "You? Did you have trouble crossing the border?"

"No, our papers worked like magic," the man replied.

"Well, then it was a successful trip," Georg said, his cheerful tone belying how he felt. "Just slightly delayed."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Back at home, Maria could not take her eyes off the clock. It was past midnight. Georg should have come back hours ago. Something had gone wrong, there was no use trying to deny it.

"Please, bring him home," she prayed aloud. And then she sank to her knees and began to pray in earnest, hands folded and eyes closed.

"Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou among women, blessed is the fruit of thy womb…"

To be continued


	23. Part 2, Chap 7, The Aftermath Begins

Thank you again to those who have waited patiently for me to resume the story. Here is a much faster update! Thank you as well to everyone who has reviewed. It does make a difference!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria heard the car outside of the house before she saw them

Maria heard the car outside of the house before she saw them. Given how late – or now early – it was it took all of her new-found self composure not to run outside and throw herself into Georg's arms. Or at least start crying with relief. However, she had been married to Georg long enough to know that she would help him most by being calm and collected, and getting their guests into bed.

She was by the door when they arrived, and greeted each of them warmly. The tall, thin man introduced himself as Gustav and then introduced women as Ada and Irma.

Even if she hadn't already known that something had gone wrong, Maria would have been able to tell that it had by Georg's appearance. He was disheveled and his jacket was nowhere to be seen. Was this the impeccable, precise Captain Von Trapp who used to summon his children by whistle to maintain order? Certainly he had changed and softened, but not this much.

Maria opened her mouth to ask what had happened but was silenced by a quick shake of Georg's head. She covered her confusion and concern by turning to face their guests again, offering them something to eat or drink.

They all turned down her offer, and so she showed the women to their beds, leaving the Captain to show Gustav to his cot. The sooner she could get to them settled and be alone with her husband, the better.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

When Maria finally got the violinists settled and was able to retire their bedroom, Georg was already standing there, looking out a window. He didn't turn around and so she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms about his waist, resting her head against his back. He put his arms over hers, caressing them, but he didn't turn around.

After several moments of this embrace, Maria quietly asked "What happened?"

Georg released her arms and turned around to face her with enough distance that they were no longer embracing. He looked intently into her eyes and just shook his head, not speaking.

Maria took a step back and folded her arms across her chest. After all of that waiting and praying he wasn't even going to tell her what had happened?

She opened her mouth to protest, to tell him that she was in this with him and had every right to know what had happened, but there was a look in his eyes that silenced her once again. It was a dangerous look. Not dangerous to her, not dangerous in a way that made her feel scared for her personal safety, but dangerous. She suddenly could tell that he had been pushed into a place that was beyond where he had been willing to go. If he was less of a man – less of a soldier – she would have said he was frightened. Maria suddenly felt as though she were standing next to a smoldering fire.

She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him again, this time hugging him properly. Maria was gratified to feel him hug her in response, and closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of him.

"Just promise me you'll tell me soon," she requested. "We're in this together and I'm going to need to know."

"Of course," he promised, "but not yet."

"Not yet," Maria agreed.

He kissed her on the top of her head and then let go of her, walking into the bathroom.

Maria sat on the bed feeling more than a little deflated and heard the water start running. What had happened that he couldn't tell her? And why on earth was he taking a shower at this time of night?

The water ran for several minutes and so she got up again, undressed and slipped into her night dress. She wasn't going to go to sleep until he was out of the bathroom – she didn't know if she'd be able to sleep at all that night, her curiosity and fear were too powerful. Maria was afraid. Whatever had shaken him so badly, that was something to be afraid of. She curled up in bed, her eyes glued to the bathroom door.

After several more minutes the water stopped running, and eventually her husband emerged, wrapped in his dressing gown. He joined her on the bed and bent down to kiss her. His kisses were usually so tender, but this one was demanding, almost fierce.

Maria wrapped her arms around his shoulders, feeling his still-wet hair. She tried to hold him close to her but he pulled away and looked down at her. Without saying anything, Georg ran his hands up her body, under her nightdress, and promptly removed it.

This was new and different too. There was usually talking, kissing, sometimes teasing and lots of loving before clothes came off. There was none of that now, just his intensity.

Maria could tell that he needed her, physically needed her, in a way that he never had before. Suddenly, all of the waiting, the anxiety, the prayers, and the fears, as well as his intensity, caught up with her and she realized she needed him too, more fiercely than she ever had before.

Georg wasn't surprised by the ferocity of his need for her – often dangerous situations, battle, and especially death made most people crave physical intimacy wherever they could find it. He was just relieved that she was responding to him so well.

There was no tenderness that night. No words of love or laughter, no gentle caresses. Just an intensity of physical need that they had never experienced before.

Eventually they were both spent. Maria was so exhausted and so sated that she realized she had been purged of most of the anxiety and fear. As she curled up next to her husband, ready to fall asleep she spoke the only words that she had said before he had gone into the bathroom: "You will tell me soon? I need to know."

"Yes," Georg promised again, and reached one arm across her. Soon the two of them had fallen into a deep sleep.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Georg woke up earlier than one would expect, given how late he had been up the previous night. But he couldn't rest. The fact remained that he had killed two men the night before and their bodies would probably be found at any time. He still didn't see any way around what he had done – not if he didn't want to be found. But Georg had no idea what kind of problems and investigations it would stir up and he wanted to be ready.

Maria wanted to know what happened, he knew that. More than that, she deserved to know. She was his partner in this mission, and his actions would directly affect her and the children. But he hadn't been able to get the words out of his mouth. Saying it out loud would make it all the more real.

But even worse was the thought of how would she look at him when she knew he had killed to men. She knew he had fought in the war, but that was so long ago. It had happened ages before they had even met. But this was fresh. This was new. He had killed as her husband, and he wasn't even fighting on any side of the war. At least not officially. How would she look at him once she knew what he had done? Would there still be the same love? The same trust?

'What else could I have done?' he asked himself once again.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Anna was startled to see Baron Von Trapp walk into the kitchen while she was just beginning to cook breakfast. He had never come into the kitchen that she could remember – she rarely saw him for that matter – especially not so early in the morning.

"Excuse me, Baron," she said, putting the large lump of dough she had been kneading back onto the counter and smoothing her hands on her apron. She was too distracted to notice the streaks of dough she left there.

"Can – can I help you?" she asked.

'You idiot,' Georg admonished himself. 'Don't do anything out of the ordinary!'

"No, I didn't mean to bother you. I was just awake and a little hungry," he explained.

"Well," Anna turned around, still flustered. "I'm about to put the bread in the oven. I can give you some sausage now – not fresh, but it's cooked."

"That would be fine," the Captain reassured her.

"Excuse me, Sir, are your friends here?" Anna asked while she was cutting a piece off of a large sausage.

"Yes, we got in a little late, but they are here."

"Oh, good!" she responded with obvious relief. "I am making breakfast for twelve."

"Very good, then" the Captain responded, taking the plate of sausage from her. "Keep it up!" He felt increasingly awkward and couldn't wait to get out of the kitchen. "I apologize for disturbing you."

He closed the door on her protests and walked into the dining room to eat his sausage. Georg couldn't stop thinking of her eyes – so large, startled and yes, frightened. Would that be how Maria would look at him once she learned what he did last night?

Suddenly he ran his hand over his face and then through his hair. What was he doing worrying about his wife's reaction when for all he knew the bodies had been found and the Swiss borders were erupting? As a military Captain, he knew he had to be thinking at least two or three steps ahead of where he was.

Georg pushed away his now empty plate, got up and walked back into the kitchen.

Anna looked even more startled to see him again, if that were possible.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Anna," he said, as gently as he could manage given the stress he was feeling. "I find it rather chilly today and want our guests to be comfortable. Would you mind starting a fire in the sitting room as soon as possible?"

Anna turned slightly red as though she should have done this before he had asked, though as far as he knew she had never drawn up a fire for them before, and quickly assented. The Captain stayed in the kitchen, watching her as she put the bread in the oven and then hurried into the sitting room. He was glad that he had the boys' chop wood a few days ago, having explained that the most menial tasks can provide the best exercise.

After he watched Anna leave the kitchen, Georg turned around and walked out of the house, towards the car. He couldn't stop thinking of everything that might be happening at the station this morning, playing it over in his head like a film.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria first woke up to a pit of dread in her stomach as she remembered what had happened – or more precisely what she didn't know had happened – the night before. There was something terribly wrong. She knew that Georg was trying to protect her by not telling her, but in a way not knowing was worse than the truth would be – or at least was worse than she feared the truth would be.

She allowed herself a few minutes of lying in bed and feeling worried before she forced herself to get out of bed. It was still very early and she doubted that many people in the house were awake yet, but there was so much she had to do.

Maria was still preparing for the concert in Geneva – the cover for the refugees' escape. She was still one or two pieces short, and the hymn she had sung to Louisa and Brigitta the night before had was running through her head. It had such sweet harmonies and she had no doubt that the children could sing it beautifully.

After Maria had finished getting dressed she still hadn't seen Georg but decided not to track him down. He would come to her when he was ready, and she was overwhelmed herself with the amount of work she had to do. There were three refugees – 'guests,' she corrected herself – to take care of, as well as the concert.

Maria had decided that the older children, specifically Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, and Kurt, would be singing, along with her. Given their public performance and by now notorious escape, the last thing she and Georg wanted was to bring attention once again to seven children, in ages that went steadily down like the steps of a scale, all singing together so beautifully. Maria also knew that the younger children were far more likely to attract attention as singers, and so with these four she felt she could put on a high quality performance without attracting too much attention.

Brigitta seemed unfazed by the fact that she wasn't singing at the concert, but Maria wasn't sure whether she was genuinely unfazed or was becoming increasingly stoic. She wasn't sure which idea concerned her more. Marta and Gretl had both come to love performing and as a result Maria had already had to deal with a few temper tantrums from Gretl and plenty of tears from Marta.

It was so hard to explain to them why they couldn't perform, why they needed to stay as inconspicuous as possible. Eventually she had promised them both that there would be other concerts that they would sing at.

But the end result was that the four older children would be singing together, billed not as a family but as a youth choir. Maria would join them as the director of that choir.

Maria could smell breakfast cooking but knew that it was still too early for the children to be up. If she could keep her mind off of Georg, this would be a rare opportunity to prepare more of the music they would be singing.

As Maria sat down at the desk in a small room on the first floor that was rarely used, she gathered a stack of paper and began to draw the five close lines that represented a staff. The prayer from Hansel and Gretel would be a wonderful song for the five of them. She could start off the first verse as a duet between Louisa and Kurt, both in their high sweet voices. Then she and the other two would join them for the second verse, filling out the music. After that, she intended to modify the music into a sort of fugue where they would repeat what they had already sung, each beginning at different times and with different variations of the theme. She could already hear it in her head. Now she just needed to get it down on paper.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Once he was satisfied that there was a strong fire roaring in the sitting room, Georg retrieved his blood stained jacket, still on the floor of the car. He had to destroy it, and burning it would be far more effective than burying it. He hoped the smell of breakfast would mask the smell of burning clothing.

He pushed the jacket further into the fire until it began to flame on its own. Then he turned around and stood in front of the fireplace, guarding it against anyone who might come into the room and see the suspicious clothing still burning.

Georg's mind was, once again, spinning with possibilities, both bad and good. There was one thing he was now certain about: he had not taken his family far enough. Switzerland, while technically neutral, was still in Europe. There was no guarantee that the Nazis wouldn't overwhelm it. Even if he was currently out of the reach of the Nazis, it was clear that this was not the safe haven that he had once hoped. And if the death of those two officers were to be linked to him – and Georg was fairly certain that with a few days and enough brains they would be – well, the Swiss would be smart to hand him over to the Germans in order to retain what peace they could.

Georg turned around to face the fire where his jacket was now engulfed in flames, and put his arm on the mantle, staring down as this damning piece of evidence was gradually destroyed. The answer was obvious, but painful. He would have to uproot his family again and take them far away. A border was not enough. He needed to put an ocean between his family and the Third Reich. America. After so recently promising them they would be able to stay, he needed to take them to America.

The Captain straightened up again, feeling the full force of his responsibility to his wife and children. They had a narrow window of time in which to get out of Switzerland. A narrow window of time while he and his family were still legal political refugees, recognized by Switzerland. A narrow window of time before he was linked to the murders and they became fugitives on the run again.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn't take all of his money out of the Swiss banks – that would make it too obvious that they were permanently leaving. No, the best he could do was take a decent amount out claiming they were going to visit France and needed money for the trip. There was the jewelry - that would help as well. But once these violinists were safely crossing Lake Geneva, he and his family would have to do the same. And then cross over to England and finally book passage to America.

Would there be time, he asked himself. Would they even be able to get through? How tight would the borders be now that two German officers had been killed on the Swiss side? Would there even be enough money to book passage for nine people or support them once they arrived?

He had to try. There was nothing else he could do.

ooooooooooooooooooo

A short time later, with Georg's jacket satisfactorily destroyed, all nine Von Trapps gathered at the breakfast table along with Irma, Gustav, and Ada. The older children were visibly relieved to see their father safely returned along with the three violinists. All three of the violinists seemed happy and encouraged to have made what they thought was a clean escape out of Austria. The younger children were excited to have their guests here, and were in high spirits, picking up on the general mood at the table.

But it was obvious to Georg that Maria was still deeply concerned. She joined in the lively conversation at the table, and he once again saw the woman who had lied so coolly and calmly to Herr Zeller's face. Georg's insides twisted uncomfortably he hated every moment of this. He dreaded telling her that he had killed two men. He dreaded telling her he was going to uproot the family once again.

For the first time, Georg wished he was married to Elsa. Perhaps, if he loved a little less, this might be easier. But he was married to Maria who he loved whole heartedly, and he knew that he had to tell her everything soon. There was too much at stake.

oooooooooooooooooooo

At the breakfast table, the children were peppering Ada, Irma, and Gustav with questions about playing the violin and playing in a professional symphony. Their enthusiasm quickly convinced Maria that it was time to introduce them to something more than guitars and singing. The children, as natural musicians, were craving instruments. They just didn't know it yet.

She tried not to look at Georg too often for fear that she wouldn't be able to look away.

As Anna cleared away the breakfast dishes, and the family walked into the sitting room where the fire was now dying down, Maria brought out the two full sized violins that Ernst had sent them. Gustav, Irma and Ada all lit up so vibrantly at the sight of the violins that she wished that their third violin was full sized as well rather than sized for a child.

They took very little convincing before they had agreed to perform for their hosts, and Ada and Irma took up the two violins and began to tune them.

Georg had made his excuses and retired to his office. Maria tried not to watch him leave, not wanting to reveal her deep concern. Soon, though, she was swept away as Ada and Irma began to quickly and expertly play the Vivace from Bach's Concerto for 2 Violins in D Minor. The music was so full, so soulful, that the sound of only two violins was enough to fill up the entire house. Ada and Irma played with so much love for the music and for their instruments, perfectly in sync although they both frequently closed their eyes.

As the piece ended, Maria realized that her eyes were filled with tears. The music was so pure and beautiful. It took her a few moments to come back to the sitting room where she saw that all three violinists had tears on their faces as well. She realized quickly that they must have wondered whether they would ever play a violin again. For a moment she was grateful that whatever Georg had had to do or endure had allowed this music had survived.

Wordlessly, Irma handed her instrument to Gustav who began to play the violin solo to Sibelius' Finlandia. Maria was once again swept away by the music, but not before she noticed that Marta had risen to her feet and was listening to the music, mouth open in awe.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

A few hours later, Georg had determined what they were going to do. Once again, right after the concert, the family would leave the country under the guise of going on a brief vacation to France. That would give them the opportunity to pack some luggage so that they would be able to retain some extra clothes.

Once in France they would travel directly to the western border and cross the channel into England. After another journey, they would set sail for America from the coast of England. It was the only way to keep them all safe and far away from the Nazis.

He reemerged from his office, sober at what he was about to do to his family, but determined.

Georg couldn't put it off any longer. He had to tell Maria now.

There was singing coming from the yard in back of the house and so he naturally assumed that Maria would be there.

As he walked to the back of the house he stopped in mild surprise to see Ada kneeling down next to Marta, showing her how to hold the child's violin that Ernst had brought.

Georg shook his head a little and continued on, hoping that he wouldn't have to cart a violin as well as a guitar with them. But he also realized that if Marta were to start learning the violin it might distract her from everything else she was leaving.

He walked outside but Maria was still not there. Instead, Liesl was leading a practice session with Louisa, Friedrich and Kurt, obviously preparing for their concert. They stopped singing when they saw him, possibly concerned they were going to meet his disapproval for singing in public.

"You sound beautiful, please don't stop," he encouraged them, and stood for a few moments listening to them resume.

Eventually, Georg found Maria in a small room, leaning over a desk with Irma and Gustav. He watched her for a moment, so reluctant to disrupt the peaceful moment. Maria seemed to sense his presence because she turned around after only seconds and met his eyes.

Her heart jumped into her throat as she knew that he was going to tell her what happened. Suddenly she didn't want to know. But she stood up, excused herself from Irma and Gustav, who continued to work on her variations to Hansel and Gretel.

Georg took her hand and walked with her to his office where they wouldn't be overheard.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. She returned his embrace, knowing at this moment that she'd rather know what happened than not. He rested his cheek against her hair, closed his eyes and said the words that he had been dreading.

"Maria," he began, "It was as bad as it could have been. I was seen – recognized. I know I was. And I – I killed two men. I had to. It was the only way."

He felt her pull away and opened his eyes in time to see the horror fill her eyes as she took a step backward and away from him.


	24. Part 2, Chap 8, No More Windows

Georg's office began to swim before Maria's eyes

A/N: I still don't own any aspect of The Sound of Music, including the characters.

Big thank you to my new Beta, Shahrazad63. Not only is she writing her own brilliant story, but she did wonderful work with this chapter.

Finally, please review. It makes a big difference in the velocity with which I churn out this story.

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Georg's trepidation turned to alarm as he watched Maria go absolutely white. He had never seen her like this before, not even when she had returned from the abbey and heard about his engagement to Elsa. Concerned that Maria might not remain standing, Georg immediately grabbed her by the elbows, holding her up, and maneuvered her over to his chair so that she wouldn't faint. Once she was sitting he walked to the other side of his office, glad he already had some good brandy stocked there.

As a former Naval officer, Georg had seen these signs before. The whiteness, the unsteadiness, the absent look in her eyes, they were all familiar. Men under his command had sometimes looked and acted this way after a particularly traumatizing experience – most commonly after they had first killed another man face to face. Now his wife was stunned - no shocked – to hear what he had done.

He hated what this news was doing to her, and he hated that the ramifications of his actions probably wouldn't end quickly or easily.

Georg practically forced her to take a swallow of the alcohol, his hand holding the glass over hers. Maria coughed a bit and he could see the color return to her face. He urged her to take another swallow and she did so without his aid. His beautiful wife was beginning to look more and more like herself again – except for her eyes. Her eyes still had a vacant look in them. Still, he was reassured that she was recovering and so he walked around the table and took the seat opposite hers.

"You killed two men?" she finally asked him slowly.

"Maria, I had no other choice," Georg explained. "Believe me, I wish I hadn't had to kill them for – for so many reasons." And he told her the story of the night before, the story that she had been asking to hear.

As Georg told her the dreadful story he could still hear Gustav playing the movement from Sibelius' Violin Concerto.(1) He wondered once again how such beauty could still exist in a world where so much evil was brewing, where men were forced to kill each other, especially when he was forced to kill in order to defend that beauty.

"What did you do with them?" she finally asked.

"What do you mean _what did I do with them_?" Georg asked in confusion. Had she not understood anything that he was saying? Had she not understood that he had killed them?

"The… the bodies, what did you do with them?" she asked.

He felt a moment's relief that she had understood him, but then felt his stomach turn over as he explained that he had hidden them under two German cars.

Maria nodded absently. "So they won't be found until…?" she let her question trail off.

Georg would have been relieved to see her nod, but not at the fact that he had hidden the bodies under cars. Nod her understanding that he had done the only possible thing, nod that he had no other choice, yes. But nod at the grisly fact that he had hidden the bodies for the night? Something was still very wrong.

"I don't know," he answered with a deep sigh. It was one of the many questions he had been asking himself over and over. "I assume that they've been found by now, but I don't think it would be a good idea to inquire." He ran his hand over his face and back through his hair in frustration. God, he wished he knew what was happening.

She nodded again and he grew even more perplexed. This was not his Maria. Scream, cry, scold him, lecture him, tell him she understood, tell him she didn't understand, dress him down! But passively agreeing with him? No. This was not his Maria.

If anything this was the awkward but irresistible postulant and governess who had once stammered through professions of love, back on that beautiful night in the gazebo when life was still easy. Back in Aigen, before the Anschluss. Back before they were sure of each other's love. This was not the woman who had grown into his wife and partner over the last few months. This was not the woman whose strength had made their escape through the Alps possible.

"What are we going to do?" she asked, and he realized what was wrong.

She wasn't there anymore. She wasn't scared, she wasn't angry, she wasn't … she wasn't anything. She was going through the motions, partnering with him to deal with yet another emergency, but her spirit had flown.

'Where are you Maria?' he silently asked. 'Are you in a safer place where no one kills and where the Nazis don't exist? Are you back at the Abbey? Or are you beyond the Abbey and already in the mountains?'

He wished he could join her, wherever she was, that they could run into the mountains together and never have to deal with Nazis or politics or war … But that was fantasy. That world didn't exist. And someone had to be here, trying to get them out of this new nightmare. And he needed his wife back.

"Maria, I had to do it," Georg repeated. "If I hadn't done it, we'd have been found. How much do you think the Swiss would have done to protect a new political refugee with the Germans pressing on them? And if we were to get handed over, I can't bear to think what they would have done to you and the children…," his voice broke.

She nodded once again and he wanted to stand up and shake her, yell at her to do something other than nod. But he restrained himself, knowing that an outburst like that could easily push her away all the more while she was still in this state. So he continued talking to her, all the while feeling as though his heart was breaking.

He took her hands in his. They were cold yet oddly steady. "Maria, my love, we have to face the fact that we are alone. No one is going to fight for us – for our freedom or our safety. We have to do that ourselves."

He rubbed her hands gently in his, trying to warm them up. "I'm sorry to say that we're going to have to leave again. Leave Dorfli. Leave Switzerland."

Another nod. "That won't be easy on the children," she told him, as if he hadn't been going over every other possible option for just that reason for the past several hours.

"I know that," he agreed. "But we don't have another choice. I must… we must keep the family safe."

Maria shrugged. "If we must, we must. Where must we go?"

"We have to get out of Europe," he told her, squeezing her hands a bit more tightly. "I was too optimistic to try to build a life for us here. Last night I saw first hand how powerful the Third Reich is getting, with officers inside Swiss borders. There's no guarantee that they won't do to Switzerland what they did to Austria – or worse. We have to get out of Europe while we still can. While we are still legal immigrants here. Being on the run again is … it's unthinkable. Especially with seven children. We have to leave before the borders are so guarded that we can't leave. And we have to leave before – before someone links those bodies with the violinists, and with me."

"Where…" once again she let the question trail off.

"America," he told her gently. "At least," he continued, trying to add some false optimism to his voice "we won't have to go over the mountains on foot. And at least we can bring some luggage!"

Suddenly, to Georg's relief, Maria's eyes filled with tears.

"America," she repeated, and began to cry.

As much as Georg hated to see Maria – or any woman for that matter – cry, he was happier to see her finally react. He knew how to handle this.

Georg got up, walked around to the other side of his desk, pulled his wife out of the chair and held her close, letting her cry onto his jacket.

"How could this have happened?" she asked through her tears.

"I don't know," Georg responded honestly, and gently ran his hand through her hair.

"The kittens," she added, trying to get control of her breath, "we have to bring the kittens. The children will take it so much harder if we don't."

A wave of surprise passed over Georg. The kittens? At a time like this? She was thinking about the kittens – of all things – now? It still felt as though she wasn't there. She was finally showing some emotion, but all she seemed to care about were the children and the kittens. This entire conversation was increasingly surreal to him.

He wanted to shake her and tell her to forget about the damn kittens, they were on a run for their lives again. And kittens made the trip to France exponentially more difficult. How were they going to convince anyone that they were going for a brief vacation with their kittens?

But she knew the children and she was right in that regard. If they had to leave everything once again: the home they were finally feeling comfortable in, the friends they had just started to allow themselves to love, the town they had been getting to know, then they also had to bring something with them. And some of them in particular would never get over leaving those small, adorable (yes, he had to agree they were adorable) kittens behind.

"The kittens. Right," he agreed reluctantly. "We'll have to figure think about _that_ one."

"Oh, Georg," she said, the tears starting anew. "Does it have to be America?"

"Yes." He was firm on that. "We cannot stay in Europe. It would be too irresponsible. We have the best chance to make a life for ourselves – a good life – and stay safe, in America."

She looked up at him, tears still in her eyes, and shook her head in a silent 'no'.

"Maria," he said more firmly, "we can't stay in Europe. It's too dangerous. America is the safest place for us to go. They have a strong military – even if the war goes that far – we'll be more protected there than anywhere. And the children," he added, knowing she was still thinking of them "they all speak such good English, it'll be easier for them to adjust there than a country where they don't speak the language."

"I don't," she said, in a barely audible whisper.

Georg looked down into her eyes and his heart broke a little more. "You will," he answered encouragingly, and reached up his hand to caress her face. "We'll help you."

"It's so big – so far away."

"I know," he agreed, "but that's why it's the best place to go. And there are mountains. I hear parts of it are very beautiful. As long as we're together we can be happy anywhere. You've taught me that!" He meant what he said, but his enthusiasm felt forced.

Maria took a deep, shuddering breath and stepped back a bit, clutching at his jacket. "Your jacket?" she asked.

Georg was suddenly lost again. "What?" he asked utterly confused.

"Last night, what happened to your jacket?" she asked, more clearly.

"Oh." They had gone from talking about moving and back to last night. He wished for a moment that they would never have to talk about it again, but he knew that wasn't possible. "I burned it."

The absent look had crept back into Maria's eyes and she nodded slightly and continued to step back until she was out of his embrace.

"Do they know?" There was no question that "they" meant the violinists rather than the children.

"No," he answered. "No one knows except you."

Maria looked down and said something under her breath.

"What was that?" he asked, slightly more sharply than he had intended.

"Nothing. I had better check on the children." She turned to walk out of his office but turned back to add "and our guests."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Georg slumped down into his chair. That had gone – not well. What had just happened?

He needed Maria, Oh, God, did he need her. More than ever. But he needed her heart and her spirit and her strength, not just her acquiescence. He'd far rather have her bickering with him than passively agreeing with what he said, as she had just done. Although she had made it clear she did not like the idea of America.

'Where else could we go,' Georg asked himself once again, but there was still no other answer.

He thought he had heard Maria whisper under her breath. Something about God. Maybe even that God knew what he had done. He reminded himself once more that Maria had been very close to being a nun. She was the religious and spiritual core of their family. The thought of killing a man – he couldn't think of it as murder – had to be weighing on her as a terrible sin.

He closed his eyes but all he could see were the faces of the men that he had killed. Were they German or Austrian? Did it even matter anymore? Kobb and – he didn't even know the other man's name. Just Kobb. "Kobb knows cars," he thought to himself. "No, Kobb knew cars," he then corrected.

Then he slammed his fist down on the table in frustration with himself. He couldn't afford to waste time indulging in how he felt. Like it or not he was on a mission, just as if he had been given orders by a commanding officer.

He needed to hear more of the details of the violinists' departure, and the concert, from Ernst, but he could at least begin planning how his family would get out of Switzerland. This time they would not be walking for their very survival. Not while he still had breath in his body. And he'd figure out how to cart along kittens as well.

The Captain knew France fairly well. Along with being trained in Italy and temporarily stationed in England, he had traveled extensively after Agathe's death.

If they caught a ship in Geneva and took it to France, they should be able to easily reach Grenoble before night. This time, they were not going to try to sneak out of the country at night. They would leave as publicly as possible and hopefully that would be the most convincing departure.

He picked up the phone and in a few minutes was connected to the Chateau de la Commanderie, just outside of Grenoble. It was a beautiful hotel, a former castle set in the Alps. Just the sort of place a Baron might take his family for a holiday. Within a few more minutes he had reserved their best suite for a week, arriving in two days. It wasn't difficult, not many people were taking holidays anymore. At least the first part of their journey would be luxurious.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Maria walked through the house just as she had done the night before. She hadn't realized how much she had come to love this home until now. "Home" was still the villa in Aigen, but this was the house where she had first lived with Georg as husband and wife. It was here in Dorfli that she had officially stepped into her role as mother to the children. Here, where she and Georg had their first fight – well, their first fight as a married couple. Here where they had reconciled and grown to love each other more deeply. Here, where the Alps could still lift her spirits, where the edelweiss grew, where the sky was so blue she felt she could drown in it. She touched one of the walls and fought back tears.

America seemed like a prison sentence rather than a future possibility. While they had been in Switzerland she had still felt connected to Austria. The mountains and flowers she loved were here as well. All of their favorite things, as she had told Gretl. America was so foreign, so far away. And the English…

Maria ran her hand over the wall and wondered when it would all end, when they would finally have peace. When they could stop running. When would she be able to truly settle down with the man she loved and raise his children without worrying about staying alive all the time?

Suddenly, the thought of what Georg had done the previous night flooded her mind and she could feel her stomach churn. He had killed. It didn't matter if they were German or Swiss or Austrian. It didn't matter if they had been Hitler or Max. They were men. Men who had a life until it had been ended so abruptly by her husband. Men who had parents that they would never come home to. Did they have sweethearts or wives? Children who would grow up without a father? She hurried up to her bedroom and into the bathroom. With each of those deaths, a door had been closed forever. There was no window to be opened.

She knelt over the commode and emptied the contents of her stomach into it.

Was it possible for God to close a door and not open a window? If so, this was it. Death. No – not death. Killing. This was the worst sin imaginable: killing another man. Georg had committed the worst sin possible.

Maria leaned back against the wall of the bathroom, still sitting on the floor. She was trying to merge the man she loved so much with the man she had heard about – the man who had killed just last night. Her head knew that they were the same man, but her heart wouldn't quite let her believe it.

Maria almost felt like she was trying to do simple arithmetic but had to prove that two plus two equaled five. It was all just so wrong.

While she had been in his office she had felt as though she was perched like a bird on the top left corner of the room, watching what was happening but not involved.

The removed part had seen his desk swim in front of her until the brandy – like fire – had made the room clear and steady again. The removed part of her had heard about details and plans as though they were discussing a dinner menu.

Now she had come down from the safe perch and felt like a child standing in front of a blackboard trying to solve a simple but impossible equation.

She knew he had killed before, but that had always seemed so remote – so far away - from the man she fell in love with and married. Now, sitting back against the wall of the bathroom, Maria realized that she hadn't really let herself think about it before.

Her husband was responsible for sinking – oh, many ships. Maria realized she didn't even know how many. But it was enough to be awarded the Maria Theresien Cross. And with each ship there must have been so many lives lost.

Yet that still seemed so long ago. He had been at war, fighting other people at war. They had all known what they were risking.

She shook her head. Maybe it was wrong, but sinking an enemy ship – even many enemy ships – over two decades ago, just felt so different than killing two men as they walked out of a pub.

Or was that wrong? Was there a difference or did she just want there to be a difference?

She wished with all her heart that she could talk to the Reverend Mother. Somehow that formidable woman had always been able to make sense of things that Maria could not.

'What do I already know?' Maria asked herself. She loved God. She knew to listen to God and obey Him. She knew that God had led her to Georg and that He had not led her astray. Whether or not Georg had killed during the Great War, God had still led them to each other. God had been with them while they fell in love, married, escaped from Austria and settled in Dorfli. Was God still with them now, she wondered.

The idea occurred to Maria so suddenly that she felt as though it could only be an answer to prayer. Georg had confessed about the lives he had taken during the war. He had been wiped clean of those actions. Yet he still bore the guilt of having killed last night. There was a difference.

God was still with them but she and Georg had to do their parts as well. God couldn't do all the work for them.

Maria sat up a little straighter. The idea of confessing, and of making things right with God again, felt like a life boat -she had been drowning in confusion, in grief, in the sickening wrongness of the situation. But now she felt like she had just been given something she could hold onto.

If Georg went to confession then he could be free of this sin. If he truly repented, prayed for forgiveness, and confessed to a priest, then everything might be okay again. It would allow him to make things right with God again. She would confess as well, she decided. She hadn't done anything specific, yet she felt a sickening sense of guilt just through being so close to these killings.

The thought of both of them going to confession was enough to get Maria up off the bathroom floor, straighten her hair, and splash some water on her face. She walked out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom, and towards the stairs, determined to talk to him immediately about going to confession.

ooooooooooooooooooo

As Maria started to walk downstairs, she heard someone at the door and knew that it must be Ernst Schmidt. Very well, she would wait to discuss confession with Georg after Ernst left. She put on her best "everything's fine" face and walked down to greet him.

Georg was relieved to hear Ernst arrive. Once Georg knew more of the man's plans to get the violinists out of Switzerland, it would enable him to make his own plans. He was mildly surprised to see Maria walk downstairs and greet Ernst as pleasantly and as sweetly as if the events of the past day were nothing but a forgotten bad dream.

"Baroness," Ernst greeted her as he politely bent over her hand. "I'm so glad to see you again. I look forward to discussing your upcoming concert."

"We were just preparing for it," Maria informed him. "And as luck would have it, we have three friends visiting us from Austria who happen to be musicians." Here she wrapped her arm around Georg's waist.

"I'm happy to hear it," he replied smoothly. "Tell me, Baron, were there any problems having them come through from Austria?"

"No problems at all," Georg lied, just as smoothly. "Would you like to meet them, Herr Schmidt?"

"Oh, most definitely," Ernst responded. "You say they are musicians? What are their instruments?"

"All three of them are violinists, if you can believe it" Maria told him. "Remarkably it's the instrument that our youngest but one, Marta, has shown some interest in." This conversation was beginning to feel painfully surreal. If she continued to lie like this, Maria thought to herself, she was going to have plenty to confess.

The three of them walked towards the back of the house where the children were with Gustav, Ada and Irma.

Georg could not get over how easily his wife lied. He had a taste of it during their conversation outside of the villa with Herr Zeller, but especially given what had just happened, she was putting on quite a performance here. A few more pieces of their escape began to fit together in his head. If Maria could lie – could act – this well, it might provide them with an invaluable cover.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ernst met the violinists with the same polite ease that he used with Georg and Maria. He reminded Georg a little of Max, not in looks but in manner. 'Smoothness must be a part of being an impresario,' he noted to himself.

The three guests were not quite as smooth as Ernst when they met him. All a little too eager, a little too grateful to just be meeting a friend of a friend.

Soon, Ernst and Gustav were talking music and concerts and Georg had to feign patience. There was so much to do! So much to figure out! He needed to know the details for their voyage and Maria's concert, yet he stood there, listening, as though he didn't have a care in the world.

Eventually the conversation turned to the concert and Georg sighed in silent relief.

"I do apologize, Baroness," Ernst was saying. I told you the concert would be in Geneva but as it turns out, I was able to find a better venue for you in Montreux. Do you know it? It's a wonderful town with a rich musical history. It's right on lake as well. Not far from Lausanne." There was a slight emphasis on the last town, and he looked pointedly at Georg.

"Well, on that note," Georg said, wincing at his own bad joke, "I'll take my leave. Do come see me before you leave, Herr Schmidt." He walked back to his office, leaving Maria, Ernst and the other musicians discussing the program for the concert. The Captain knew everything he needed to continue with his plans. Montreux was perfect, he knew it fairly well. It was very close to the most luxurious palace-hotel in Switzerland. He had heard that the hotel had changed management recently and wasn't faring as well under the change, but it would still do very well for their needs. The Von Trapps would stay there the night of the concert, and from Lausanne sail to France. He would have to get the violinists to Lausanne during the concert in the afternoon. Then the family would unite at the hotel.

This escape was not only looking possible, but each development was making it easier.

'More windows opening?' Georg mused to himself.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

"Well, Captain, my congratulations and my gratitude. They are all here safely." Ernst smiled at Georg but his smile quickly faded when Georg didn't met it with a smile of his own.

There were no problems in getting them at the border?" Ernst asked, now sitting across from Georg in his office.

"I was slightly delayed, but no," the Captain answered. "No real problems."

He wanted to trust someone, and he felt that if he could trust anyone it would be this man who was risking so much to help three people escape. But he just couldn't take the chance.

"I don't suppose you'd know anything about the two bodies that were found at the same station this morning?"

"I hadn't heard anything about it," Georg replied calmly.

"Two men. Both, unfortunately, German officers. I don't know any more than that." Ernst hadn't taken his eyes off of Georg's face.

"German officers behind a Swiss border?" Georg asked with feigned surprise. Then he shrugged. "Whatever happened must have occurred after I was there.

"You did say you were delayed…" Ernst let his words trail off, making it clear that he was asking a question.

"Yes, car trouble. Nothing significant," Georg told him. "Two German officers. Well, what's happening as a result? How does this affect our friends' chances of getting across the border into France?"

"To be honest, I don't know yet. I'm sure that the officials will be tightening the borders due to German pressure, but considering they'll be crossing over a French border the security may not be as tight. Still, their papers worked to get them into this country, so I'm optimistic," Ernst said.

"Yes, that is a good sign," Georg agreed.

The two men stared at each other across Georg's desk. There was nothing left for Georg to say, and though it was silent, he was clearly discouraging any more conversation. The camaraderie and partnership that had been so strong during their last meeting was gone.

"Well, you should have everything you need," Ernst said, standing up. "If anything else comes up, have your wife contact me. I'm sorry I won't be able to see you at the concert. It's coming together very well."

"Yes, I'm sorry to miss it as well," Georg agreed, standing up. "Thank you again for the violins. Our daughter is already making use of one."

"I'm glad to hear it. That's why I sent them."

"Johanna will show you out," Georg dismissed him.

"I'll see you at another time then, Captain."

"Yes, I'm sure you will," Georg agreed while knowing that he would never see this man again.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As Ernst left, Georg sat down at his desk and leaned back in his chair. So the bodies had been found. He had been expecting that but he wasn't sure whether he was encouraged or disappointed that Ernst had no other knowledge. Clearly not much was known, but whether that was because the Germans had control of the situation or because there was still a lot of confusion around it he didn't know. As long as the Swiss/French borders remained open, things could still work out.

There was a soft knock at the door. Georg could immediately tell it was Maria but he wasn't annoyed with her for knocking as he had once been. This day had been too stressful for annoyance with each other.

"Come in," he invited as he stood up to greet her.

Sure enough, Maria walked in. Georg was relieved to see that her eyes had a bit more of a spark to them again. Somehow, she was starting to make peace with the situation.

"I heard Herr Schmidt leave," she began "Did he say anything?"

She didn't need to clarify her question. There was only one thing she could be asking about.

"The bodies have been found, he didn't know anything else," Georg answered.

Maria could feel her stomach churning once again at the word 'bodies.' Two men had become bodies. There was nothing else to say about it. She tried to keep the disgust she felt from showing on her face.

"Georg, darling," she stepped closer to him and caught both of his hands in hers.

He felt himself melt a little at her touch and at the endearment. Maybe she did understand. Maybe she would even be able to forget about it someday.

Her next words raised his defenses, making the hair on the back of his neck prickle.

"Darling, come to church with me. Today. Now. Let's go to confession. You can confess – be forgiven – and get this stain off your soul. I need to go to confession as well. Let's go together and put this behind us." Her eyes were pleading with him as much as her voice.

At any other time, under any other circumstance, he would have melted before her hopeful, soulful love for him and belief. But at this moment, it was suddenly obvious she didn't understand the position he was in.

He took his hands away and stepped back. "Absolutely not." He tried to soften his voice but failed under the force of his agitation.

Maria watched as her beloved husband turned back into the stern, guarded, authoritative and biting sea Captain that she had first met. She felt as though she had been punched in the gut. Not only was he rejecting the only possible window of light she saw, but he was turning back into a stranger.

"And I absolutely forbid you to go to confession as well," he continued. He could see what he was doing to her but couldn't stop himself.

She stopped floundering in that sea of heartache and confusion and drew herself up to her full height. "You _forbid_ me? I thought we had already established that I am neither your pet nor your child for you to command. I am your wife, and if I wish to cleanse my soul at church there is nothing you can say about it."

"Yes you are my wife," Georg practically hissed, his dark blue eyes burning with anger. "That means that I am responsible for you as I am responsible for this entire family. I am responsible for your safety and for the safety of our entire family. So under no circumstances will you mention this, hint about it, allude to it or in any way reference it, even in confession."

Maria looked at him, dumbfounded. "But there's no reason to be concerned about confessing to a _priest_!" she protested. "He could never reveal what you had told him. Never! Confession is completely safe."

Georg shook his head, "It's a risk I can't take. Our safety comes first, at all costs."

Maria felt her own anger rising. Had he even heard a word she had said? And how dare he tell her what she could or could not do within the protection of a church? She couldn't have stopped her next words even if she wanted to:

"If you were so concerned with our safety then maybe you shouldn't have killed two German officers."

With those words she effectively put a barrier up between them.

"I've already explained that I had no other choice," Georg said once again, and turned away. "Clearly there is no point in discussing this further."

"Clearly," Maria agreed, "especially if you consider your soul or relationship with the Lord to be of so little value."

Georg had never thought he could be as angry with Maria as he was at this moment. He turned back towards her, grabbing her arm and pulling her close so that he could keep his voice low.

"What I value is something more real at the moment," he said, "our lives. Our safety. I value getting out of Switzerland before it becomes another annexation of Germany. I _value_ our survival. And you will do the same."

Maria said nothing but feel the heat from how close he was. She was finding it difficult to breathe and wasn't sure if it was from anger, disgust or something else.

"When we are safe – and I will be the judge of that – you may confess anything you wish. Until then you will not breathe a word of this to anyone. Under any circumstances."

Maria could feel her last window of hope closing with his words. She was married to a man, her family was headed by a man, who had committed a mortal sin and obviously didn't care about confessing it. Did he even care about God or had that all been a show for her benefit?

She turned away in disgust and walked to the door. Before she opened it she turned back.

"Oh, Captain, you seem to be missing your whistle." And with that she walked out the door. Let him make of that what he would.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Georg walked to the window, hurt to the core. She had once said she fell in love with him the first time he had blown the whistle. Was she saying that he had become a tyrant? Was she saying that she didn't love him anymore? All he was trying to do was take care of his family. Yes, he had done something horrible the night before but he still didn't see how he could have done anything else. And the thought of her telling anyone – anyone! – even someone bound by the laws of the church was unthinkable.

Still, their journey had just become infinitely more difficult. Without Maria's full partnership it would be impossible.

To be continued …

_(1) My apologies for a mistake in the last chapter – I got the wrong concerto. Gustav is meant to be playing the violin solo from the Allegro moderato movement from Sibelius' Concerto for Violin and Orchestra in D minor. Highly recommended to anyone who has not heard it!_


	25. Part 3, Chapter 1, New World

_I do not own the Sound of Music or the characters._

_Many many thanks to my wonderful beta, Sandra! You are the best (as always!)_

_And please do leave a review. The comments really help me keep writing – more than you know!_

Maria stood on the promenade of the ship seeing her new home for the first time. Her heart sank lower than she had ever thought possible.

America. New York City. It was bleak. Grey. There was no beauty. It seemed very loud, although that could just be the ship's horn combined with the excited chattering of the mass of people surrounding her. Maria had always been used to beautiful and clear open spaces. Space that could be filled with nature and music. Although they were still a ways out she could already tell that there was no nature to be found in her new home. She doubted there would be any music either. How could music and beauty fit into such a full and gritty space?

Maria felt her hand being tugged and looked down into Marta's anxious face. She instantly felt a wave of guilt and relief. She felt guilt over being so consumed with her own anxiety and distaste for this new land that she had temporarily forgotten what her children must be feeling. And she felt relieved to see the beauty of Marta's sweet face.

'There may be no beauty of blue skies, lush trees and mountains,' she thought to herself, 'but I am bringing the most beautiful sight in the world with me. The children.'

"Isn't this exciting?" Maria said aloud, and pasted a big, fake smile on her face. "We're almost there!"

"I don't like it, Mother," Marta said. "It doesn't look very friendly."

Maria bent down to scoop Marta up and realized wisftully she no longer had to bend quite as far to get the small girl.

"No?" she asked. "Well, you can't tell much by a city. You have to meet the people! The people here are going to be so friendly and so much fun that we'll soon forget about what the city looks like," Maria told Marta convincingly.

"Really?" Marta asked doubtfully.

"Oh yes, darling," Maria reassured her. "After all, Americans are famous for their friendliness and hospitality. Once we are all settled in we are going to have such fun and such a wonderful adventure here."

Marta didn't respond but instead rested her head sadly against Maria's shoulder. Maria gave her a small hug, wishing she could do more to help her children through this. When had they gotten so perceptive? Each one had gotten so much older than his or her actual age. She knew Marta remained unconvinced and dreaded the day she'd see right through her mother's attempts at

Maria started to put Marta down - her arms were really starting to burn - when she caught Georg looking at her over the heads of Gretl, Brigitta and Kurt. Maria held his gaze for a few seconds longer than she had intended. Then she turned her face away, kissed Marta on the head and put her back down.

She hoped, as she had hoped so many times on their voyage here, that the children didn't notice how cool their parents had suddenly become towards each other. But deep down she knew they had noticed. How could they not?

Georg and Maria barely touched or spoke these days if they could possibly avoid it yet they had once been so loving towards one another. Even Georg, who had serious reservations about displaying affection in public had changed his opinion about that.

No, the children had to know something was wrong between their parents. They'd worked so hard, maybe even too hard, to entertain themselves on the ship. Toys, books, games, music – there had been a constant stream of activities. The children were either in denial about the tension between their parents or were trying to distract themselves (and each other) from it. No one had even commented on the fact that Georg and Maria had not shared a room on board.

They had explained that they were only able to procure three cabins. Given how last minute the entire trip was, given the fact that Georg could not reserve cabins in advance, this was true. And with only three cabins it made sense to split up and share rooms with the children rather than each other. Otherwise, the two parents would have taken one room, the two boys the second room and then all five girls would have been crammed into the third cabin.

It simply made sense for them to spread out more evenly - for Georg to stay in a room with the boys, Maria to stay with Marta and Gretl, and for Louisa, Brigitta and Liesl to share a room. 3 rooms with 3 people in each. It was much more practical than having Georg and Maria share a room and having the other two rooms split so unevenly. 'Oh, what a perfect excuse,' Maria thought bitterly.

The children certainly understood the practicality of this. The children certainly didn't think it was strange that she and Georg weren't sharing a room. Certainly. Maria had reassured herself of this several times a day throughout their voyage. And yet...

Maria looked away from the new shoreline that was looming ever closer and saw Brigitta looking at her. She gave Brigitta a reassuring smile and blew her a kiss before turning back to her first sight of America.

Deep down Maria knew that her children, especially the older ones, knew that something was very wrong. She just didn't want to admit it to herself. The thought of adding even more uncertainty and instability to their lives, already so upside down, was more than she could bear.

Despite the press of people milling around them she could feel him standing just a few feet away, cold and aloof in the middle of all the excitement. She was still always aware of his presence. What was he thinking, watching New York come into view? What new plans was he forming to protect their family?

Maria was still in awe of how masterfully he had handled their flight from Switzerland. It was so very different from how they had fled Austria. There had been nothing furtive about it, just a large and wealthy family going on a vacation. Who never came back.

Her husband was so very competent, so very commanding. Part of her heart whispered to her that he truly had no choice other than to kill that man in order to protect her family. It reminded her they they now lived in a world at war and that she needed to support her husband in his best attempts to protect their family. Above all, it told her to throw her arms around him, to feel is warmth and his strength once again and to never let go.

But the burden of an unconfessed sin - an unconfessed mortal sin - weighed heavily on the rest of her heart. It told her that a life taken was still a life taken, and it reminded her that he had prevented her from making her confession thus controlling her very soul. It was as if she was being asked to make an impossible choice between the love she felt for her husband – a love that was holy, as the Reverand Mother had said – and her beliefs. How could she make such a choice?

Every night as Maria got into bed all she could think about was how much she missed her husband. She missed the closeness they shared at night. She missed his physical presence, so comforting as he lay next to her through the night. She missed his warmth and his smell. She even grew to miss his occasional snores. Yet she would not - could not - let him know. She could barely look him in the eyes anymore, let alone tell him how desperately she missed him.

She wasn't angry with him about their latest exodus. She understood why it was necessary and, the more she thought about it she even agreed that they'd had no other choice. As for the lives of those men, she was heartsick, and grieved to her core, but she knew that in that moment he'd seen no other option. Had he made the mistake of his life? As much as she tried to think of another way he could have handled what happened, she could see why he acted the way he did.

What else could he have done? Pretend to be someone else and try to convince Kobb that he had been mistaken? That would never have worked. And the idea of trying to convince Kobb not to reveal them was laughable. She'd thought about it almost constantly since he had told her, but she still didn't see what else he could have done.

Yet she thought of those men every moment of every day. She thought of their families. Had they had wives and children? Were two families now left without a father and husband? Certainly they'd at least had parents. She knew what it was to be a parent, to love someone so much more than her own life, and every day she thought about the grief that those parents must be experiencing.

Once again this made her think of the men he had killed in the previous war. He been lauded for that, decorated even. Yet it had always remained theoretical to her. And he had been fighting for his country! These deaths – they were so real to her. They felt like something else entirely. But was that really fair?

That sadness weighed heavily on her. But what made her angry, what made her so angry that she couldn't even look at Georg, was the fact that he had forbidden her confession. If he didn't want to confess then that was between him and God, but how dare he try to dictate the terms of her relationship with God? It was so unreasonable for such a rational man! Didn't he know that the priest would be bound by a vow of secrecy? But he had remained deaf to her pleas. He seemed to think that not all priests could be trusted! The audacity of this idea, combined with her shock and heartache, set her head spinning.

Maria could feel the fury rising in her once again and consciously tried to suppress it. She looked out over the crowds of people, trying to distract herself. Were these people hopeful about the future they were going to create, or were they heartsick about what had forced them here in the first place? She looked at a few weary faces and tried to guess where each person fell on that scale.

Maria knew that Georg couldn't stop her from confessing indefinitely. When the time was right, she would be able slip away and find a church. He would never even have to know. If she had been able to find a church, and some time, before now then she would have already done so.

Was it wrong? Was it wrong to defy him in this way? She had promised before God to honor and obey him, and she had meant that vow with all her heart. And yet there was something in her couldn't agree to a decision that was so very wrong, no matter what she had promised.

Above all, she felt confused. Had she failed him when he needed her most? Or was he failing her? Hopelessness overwhelmed her once again. She had just been learning how to be a wife when they were cast into this most desperate of situations. And now there was such a gulf between them that she didn't know how she could possibly cross it, or even if she should. What was right?

She yearned for someone to talk to. But in this she was so utterly alone. The Reverend Mother would know what to do, but Nonberg was now an ocean away in a country made unreachable to them by a war…

Maria's arm tightened about Marta. Even if she no longer knew how to be a wife in this chaotic and terrifying world, she would be a mother. Her eyes focused again on the bleak and grey landscape of their new home and felt new resolve grow in her chest. She would make this new home and this new life beautiful. She **would** find beauty here, even if in the smallest ways.

Georg watched the shoreline coming into view, his mind already several steps ahead. They had all remained healthy enough on the voyage that he was not concerned about clearing customs. They would need to find lodging right away, no easy task in such a crowded city. But New York somehow kept taking in the masses. There would be lodging if one knew where and how to look.

Not for the first time, he was profoundly relieved that he and the children spoke fluent English. That would give him the edge he needed to get his family taken care of and established.

But Maria ... he felt a twist in his gut when he thought about what he was going to be putting her through. She spoke no English, she had never lived anywhere but in the countryside. Maria would be utterly out of her element here.

He looked over at her, feeling a fresh wave of compassion and regret. So much of her life was already so new to her, how would she manage this new world? He looked over at her, bodies of their children between them. His breath caught in his chest for a moment. She was so lovely and he missed her so terribly. Friedrich and Kurt were very poor - and rather smelly - roommates, especially compared with the beautiful woman he had married.

Suddenly she looked up and locked eyes with him. He could feel the heat and desire rising in his body and saw the color rise in her own cheeks. But just as quickly she looked away, burying her face in Marta's head.

He felt a cold anger wash over him. He had had no other choice than to act as he had. First and foremost he had to keep his family safe, including Maria. As a result he was being treated like a villain by his own wife. He understood her dilemma and her pain more than she could possibly know, but she understand his?

It's not that he didn't want her to confess. He fully believed in God and the sacraments and felt the full weight of his unconfessed sin bearing down on his soul. He too was anxious to confess and repent these actions. But to have already done so would endanger all of their lives. He absolutely could not and would not allow it yet. If Maria wanted to be angry with him over it, if she wanted to put this gulf between them, so be it. Nothing would change his position on this.

But the truth was that he also felt ... hurt. He was doing everything to keep his family safe and needed his wife's support now more than ever. How could she not see that? How could she not trust him?

He looked again at New York as they drew closer. Right now he needed to focus on taking care of his family in this new country. After moving banks again there wasn't all that much money left. Everything was going to be different. In order to make this all work he was going to have to be as driven as he ever had been and could not afford to be mooning over his wife.

With a cry from the crowd the ship drew up to Ellis Island and the crew began the work of lowering the gangplank. He saw Maria flash one brief, frightened look at him. Unable to help himself, he gave her a small half smile in return. He watched as she looked back to the shore and squared her shoulder as if in some silent resolution of her own. The next chapter of their lives was about to start. He prayed it would ultimately be kinder than the last.


	26. Part 3, Chapter 2, Rooms

Disclaimer: I do not own the Sound of Music or anything associated with it.

**Please do read and review this chapter. Your reviews make all the difference in keeping this story going!**

New York was everything she'd feared it would be: crowded, noisy and bleak. There was hardly anything natural and green and even less beauty. People spoke loudly and impatiently in a language that she didn't understand. Even worse, some people would treat her like an idiot – speaking more slowly and loudly – just because she did not speak their language.

They'd been in New York for two days now and those two days felt like two of the longest of Maria's young life. She was all but estranged from her husband and yet completely dependent on him for everything. Not just for money and food but also for simple explanations as to what was happening and for help communicating with other people.

Maria had always been a partner to Georg, at least since their engagement and marriage. While they had been clear that he was the head of the household, she had been beside him at every step of the way, especially during their escape from Austria. Now she wondered what her role was. Barely a wife anymore and no longer a helper it was difficult for Maria not to sink into herself completely, especially in this dirty and chaotic city.

She tried to pray and ask God for help and guidance. Surely it must be time for another window to open by now? But when she prayed she felt the weight of the unconfessed sin pressing down on her. She'd been taught that sin could only be cleared when confessed – and truly repented – in the presence of one of God's agents here on earth. Yet even if she wanted to betray Georg right now and secretly go to confession she'd be lost. How would she even find a Catholic church here on her own, let alone a priest who could speak German?

The best Maria could do for now was to truly repent within her own heart. But the more she thought about it the less certain she was of what she needed to repent, unless it was keeping his secret. No, she needed to talk to a priest who would know and understand. In the meantime she would have to find some penance to do to alleviate this pain and guilt. But what penance? She had said so many Our Father's and Hail Mary's, what else was there to do? If lives had been taken, and she'd been in any way party to that, then she decided that she would have to find a way to save some lives, or at least bless those already in existence. And maybe she could work with the children to do the same.

Oh, God bless those sweet children. In the past two days, whenever Maria felt truly in danger of collapsing in on herself she focused on her seven children and her heart lifted. She reminded herself of her resolve on the ship. She may not know how to speak English or live in a big city, she may not even know how to be a wife to Georg at the moment, but she did know how to be a mother. Still. And she could continue to be the best mother she could possibly be.

That left no room for indulging in sadness or grief, no matter how tempting it was. She needed to help her children settle into their new lives and so she could not afford to spend too much of her time and energy missing her old life.

Some of the children seemed to be handling it better than others. At least the older ones seemed to be. Their English was so good and they had an understanding of what was happening and why they'd been thrust into this new life. The younger children were spending a good deal of time whining and bursting into tears in a way pulled her heart to pieces.

Maria curled more protectively around Gretl's sweet little body and sighed. The family had been able to rent three rooms in a boarding house and were again in the same configuration as they had been in on the ship. "We do have enough money to buy a small house here," Georg had reassured her. "This is just temporary until we find the right place." In her darker moments Maria wondered if it would have been possible to find a fourth room and if Georg had just chosen not to do so, happy as he was with his new distance from her.

Then she heard a unhappy sniff from Gretl and all such suspicions were forgotten. "Darling, what is it?" Maria asked quietly, smoothing back Gretl's hair while she spoke.

"I don't like America. I want to go home," Gretl sobbed softly.

"Me too!" came the very said wail from Marta as she turned to look at Gretl and Maria

With that the two young girls both began to cry as Maria hugged them, one in each arm, trying desperately to both soothe them and quiet them down.

Maria was acutely aware that they no longer lived in their own house, but only a small handful of rooms in a building shared by others. They could no longer make as much noise – or music – as they wanted and needed without disturbing other families who were trying to sleep just a few feet away.

"Shhhhhhh," she murmured to the girls but to no avail. They continued to cry on her shoulders.

Then the door opened and, to Maria's great relief, Liesl quietly padded in and scooped up Gretl allowing Maria to fully embrace Marta.

This increased comfort did seem to settle the two girls a little more when Louisa and Brigitta came in as well. There was now so little room on the bed that they sat on the floor next to the bed, both reaching up to pat their sisters' backs.

Maria, still holding Marta, looked around gratefully and smiled at all of her daughters. They may have lost home and country, but there was truly no comfort like family. But before she could say anything the door opened once more revealing Friedrich and Kurt.

Friedrich took Gretl from Liesl (who relinquished the small girl gratefully) and Kurt gently but playfully tugged Marta's braid. "We heard such a racket and knew you must be crying because you missed us so," he announced.

Liesl rolled her eyes but settled herself on the floor, resting her head against Maria's knee. Marta climbed off of Maria's lap but continued to lean against her on the bed.

"We miss home," Gretl clarified, raising her chin slightly as she did. "It's not very nice here. We want to go back."

"You know what I was just thinking about," Maria asked. "I was just thinking about the beautiful red flower we saw today."

"The one growing in the box outside the window?" Brigitta asked.

"Yes!" Maria confirmed enthusiastically. I don't think I've ever seen a flower quite so red. And the petals were so delicate even while the color was so rich. It was lovely."

Liesl looked up at Maria for just a moment before she joined in. "And do you remember when the sun broke through the clouds this afternoon? It made the whole street look warm and golden."

Maria smiled at Liesl gratefully before asking everyone in the room "What else did you see today that was beautiful?"

"I thought that breakfast was beautiful," Kurt piped up as all of his siblings either laughed or groaned. "Well, it was!" he defended himself with a laugh. "I like eggs and bacon. I think they look beautiful together."

"Mother," Marta asked quietly, "is this like Our Favorite Things?"

"Yes, Marta," Maria agreed. I think we can consider it our New favorite things. America has so many treasures in store for us, but they are new and different so we may not notice them unless we learn how to look."

She paused and looked around, making sure that all of the children paying attention. "And so I have a very important job for to do. And you must do it every day, it is terribly important that you do it every single day."

Maria could see a small smile on Louisa's face and then locked eyes with Friedrich who gave her a nod. 'This could actually work,' she thought to herself, and held her breath for a brief moment before continuing.

"Every day, I want every single one of you to look for things that are beautiful here. And not just things, but people and places – even food," she added with a smile at Kurt, who beamed back. You must watch very closely and be careful to not let anything beautiful escape your notice. And then every night we will all meet back here to tell each other everything we saw." She looked around and saw that all of the children, even the youngest girls, were smiling.

"Oh children, this is so terribly important," she added, "for God does create anything – or any place – that does not have it's own unique beauty. It's up to us to learn to see it. I think we'd better start right now, telling each other what we've seen so far."

Maria leaned back against the wall, hugging Marta into one side and Gretl into the other. She reached out one hand to brush back a piece of Brigitta's hair that had fallen in her face and listened to the children start to discuss the previously hidden beauty of New York. Leaning back against the wall, Maria let their happy and increasingly enthusiastic words wash over her and felt her own spirits start to rise.

Two doors away, Georg was lying on his bed looking at the ceiling. He was fully aware that a gathering was happening. He'd heard the crying, followed by doors closing. He'd also been aware that Kurt and Friedrich – evidently thinking he was asleep – had left as well. Now he could hear muffled voices and could tell that Maria had worked her usual magic and calmed the children. Not that he ever doubted her. At least, he never doubted her skill with and devotion to the children. Despite everything he didn't even doubt her love for himself, which was part of what made this whole thing so maddening.

He slowly exhaled but did not consider joining his family. He was not sure if it was the unspoken estrangement from his wife that kept him in this small room and away from his family, or whether it was the weight of the many issues he had to resolve and untangle.

His mind was racing as he thought through everything he had to accomplish and how he would be able to do it all. He urgently needed to find his family a house. They could not continue to live in this handful of rented rooms for much longer. He also needed to find some sort of income. He still had some money, perhaps enough for a modest life here in America, but he knew it would not be enough indefinitely. He needed to find some work. But what? And how? These were hard times, particularly in America. They'd already seen people lining the streets for free food and men clamoring for a handful of jobs.

Georg got out of his bed, walked across the small room and opened the lone window. The room was hot and musty and smelled like boys. It was an unpleasant reminder of some of the more negative aspects of his days in the academy and at sea. The air from outside was cold but did not do enough to refresh the room.

He folded his arms over his chest and took a deep breath, trying to remember Maria's sweet smell. He'd gotten so spoiled sharing a room with her and her lovely, gentle and clean habits.

Of everything that was on his mind this night Maria weighed most heavily. He knew that he would ultimately find work and an income – he was capable of doing so much. It was just a matter of getting connected with the right people. He knew that the children would even be all right, despite all of the turmoil of the last few months, as long as Maria was all right. Maria was what held this family together. Her spirit, her optimism and her determination would keep them going. But if she went under then the whole family would go under.

As frustrated as Georg was with her stubborn disregard for his predicament and the way she had frozen him out he also felt overwhelming compassion for Maria's situation. She was a strong and extraordinary woman, yes. But she was also still a young and fairly naïve girl fresh from the Austrian countryside suddenly thrown into a world of politics and impending war. She had known very little but the country and the mountains and now she was in a large and strange city with nothing natural or familiar. And he was acutely aware that Maria was the only member of their family who did not speak English.

In order to keep her – and their family – happy and functional, Georg knew that he would have to locate the German speaking community in New York and make their home there. Hopefully he would even find an Austrian community and people that his wife could speak with and relate to. He knew that there were many Austrians who had moved here in hopes of a better future. He even knew a few of them personally. It shouldn't be too hard to find them, but would their loyalties be to the Austria that he knew and loved or to this new and monstrous German regime? Who would they be able to trust?

The next day he would have to start looking for his Austrian contacts, but he would need to do so alone. Perhaps he could have Maria take the children to that rather large park he'd heard of. There were bound to be trees and grass at the very least which would provide some comfort and familiarity to Maria and the children while he planned their next steps.

Friedrich and Kurt crept back into the bedroom that they shared with their father, feeling lighter than they had in weeks. They were both certain that they had made a clean escape out of their room without disturbing their father and were shocked to see him completely awake and standing in front of the small window, arms folded across his chest. Their father turned to look at them, commanding even in his pajamas. He raised one eyebrow but did not say a word.

Friedrich and Kurt both reflexively straightened up, feeling rather abashed. Friedrich in particular was more than a little embarrassed. He'd been trying so hard to show his father how grown up he was and now he'd been caught scampering about like a child. What had he been thinking? He could feel his face grow warm and prayed that the room was too dark for his father to notice.

"Everything all right with the girls?" Georg inquired mildly and Friedrich could feel himself relax slightly with relief.

"Oh, yes," Kurt exclaimed, apparently also relieved. "They just needed some company."

"The little ones were feeling homesick -," Friedrich started to explain.

"But we set them right!" Kurt interjected. "After all, what is there to feel sad about when you've got brothers like us?"

Georg's lips twitched in spite of himself. "Indeed," he agreed, as solemnly as he could. "I'm glad you were there to remind them of that and 'set them right.' But let's go to bed now." He crossed over to them in two steps, ruffled Kurt's hair and then clapped Friedrich's shoulder.

Kurt yawned in agreement and settled into the bed he shared with Friedrich. Friedrich started to get into bed as well but felt like there was something else he should say. He looked up at his father and felt a twist of unhappiness - and something else he didn't recognize - in his belly.

"Well, it was really Mother," he said quietly. "Who 'set them right.'"

"Mother always sets things right," Kurt agreed sleepily.

"Yes, she does," Georg agreed. "She always has." He stared into the dark room, listening to his younger son start to snore softly and wondered how to set things right with her.


End file.
